Another day drones on...
"Oh, how the envy consumes me, though I know it should not. For I am lucky enough to be alive after all, after all the complications of my birth...
Then there are things people take for granted so often. I stand here, flipping burgers as usual, and some customer complains about a single ingredient missing or added. Do you know what I would give to taste but one?
My hand's healing well from when my fingers accidentally brushed the fryer oil. They said it was very bad, but I couldn't know. Is it wrong to long to feel even pain? To have some condolence that I am, in fact, alive? That I EXIST. That inside I feel so deeply my heart breaks every day.
I watch happy couples delight in a kiss- how they speak of this "spark", this overwhelming joy... OH how I wish I could feel such a magical thing, and more-
The most haunting of all, the one thing that destroys me every time I try to get close to anyone.. I feel not their hugs, nor could I can ever... ever feel the intimacy of making love.
Will I ever find a way to make my life matter? Can the soul love without the body that contains us to aid us in the quest? Would anyone ever accept me, this abomination, these pieces of missing parts..."