I walk around like I'm invisible.

My reflection pulls at my skin.

I've closed my windows.

Because sunlight hurts me from within.

I tiptoe on others words,

and let the darkness sink in.

My thoughts feel like attempts at an apology, that cannot be found.

Be Happy

Don't let anything inconvenient get to you

Because you will prevail

You are loved

Sadness is a spell

Cast upon many

Please don't let it create

Anything around you

Just let it appreciate

How wonderful you are

You are powerful

Even when it seems dark while it's light

Know that I will be guiding you

Because you have guided me

Together I feel we are stronger

Ebbing and flowing

As the waves of our happiness collide

And our eyes are glazed with joy

In a world of true peace

Where sadness only sleeps

And our minds have closed their mouths

So only our hearts can speak

Happy Birthday

- happy birthday Maddy! You mean an incredible amount to me!! You cast light in any room you're in, and make me happy on my saddest of days, love you! -wilder

The rain stops, and starts

The lights flicker

My eyelids open, and close

One after the other

The clouds pass by, and come back

So why wouldn't you

I stare and I wonder

Blink

I cross my fingers and hope

That I will try again tomorrow

A dream that I've yet pondered

Opening up and Closing again

Blink

Translucent at my waste

I think I'm now nothing

A jar open fills the area

Blink

Tap, tap on the window

A door opens but doesn't close

I feel footsteps but hear no noise

Blink

The lighting flashes I wonder

The thunder crashes I think

The feelings get louder I stop

Blink

I'm not making sense

But I'm curious

You didn't come back

So now I'm furious

A fist to the the wall, my cuts open

Each with a secret I haven't spoken

Blink

I march quite louder, the feelings rise

Someone's here for unpleasant reasons

Tap, tap on the window

Blink

I feel footsteps but hear no noise

Blink

I tremble without movement

Blink

Blink

I drift

I wish I got it

I wish I knew

How I could unlock

The secrets within you

I wish I lived

The life you live

So I could see

Just exactly what to do

I wish I could see

What you see

Because somehow

Everything is revolving around you

I wish I could speak

They way you could

Because you are everywhere without me

Even though I'm always there for you

I wish YOU could see

Just exactly what YOU do to me

Because YOU would understand

The emotion YOU've caused within me

I want YOU to know

What YOU are to me

When I'm not rapped around your finger

Like I am every time YOU're next to me

I wish there could be

Some way I could understand

How you can be so condescending

Yet my very best friend.

Run

Leave

Before you stick to my web

-

Throw it easy for Wilder

Maybe they're right

Through progression comes obsession

But I'm only stuck in the mud

Happy as can be

Maybe that's true

However from drowning comes self doubt

And that's all I ever knew

Clingy and dependent

Constantly observing

Plotting to prove you wrong

Then apologizing for nothing

Fostering your happiness

Yet watching you take the life out from within me

Energetic yet ostracized

Maybe that's just me

Turn away before I talk

Because you'll never want to listen to me

Disheartened and ignored

Even my insides don't look at me

Through all my giving and mental cleaning

This is all that's ever come back to me

Scared with all my secrets

Of emotional outbursts and obsessions long gone

Taking over my brain

Until I no longer see the light ahead of me

Attention starved and anxious

This isn't all I'll ever be

But why drown yourself

In your thoughts

When you can do it yourself

Sitting alone with selfish tears

Until tomorrow's daylight breaks me

Cradling my wounds

Like I need to have them around me

Sensitivity boosted up

So I can cry at my awakening

Making sure I feel the pain

When my mind leaves me out of everything

Bringing people to my web so that they're too afraid to leave me

So run

Leave

Before you stick to my web

Because through my open eyes comes floods

Maybe that's why all these people keep running away from

Me

Ouch

I fell

Underneath the leaves there is

Concrete

It hurts

When you slip

Through the cracks

And find yourself

Trying

To catch

Your breath

Before it slips

Away

Ouch

I tripped

The pavement seemed

Sweet

But looks can be deceiving

It hurts

When someone

You thought you could

Love

Can't be

Because

Now

I find myself

trying

to catch

My Breath

Before it slips

Away

Ouch

That hurt

I hit my

Head

On that same branch today

I thought

Nature was

Very nice

But things

Can crumble

It hurts

When your

Relationships

Start

To fall

Into pieces

Because

Suddenly

You fight

And we're

Just trying

To catch

Our Breath

Before it slips

Away

In my head

Wishing

Blinking

Breathing

Walking

Running

Creating

Realizing

That I

Could be

Something

If I didn't think as much

About winning

Or where I'll stand

Or how good I will be compared

To the people that are better then me

I need to focus on breathing

Because I used to be so smart

But now I'm middling

What's happening

To the me

That focused on reading

Writing

Homework

Dreaming

Believing

In myself

Caring

About myself

Not being afraid

To brag about my accomplishments

Because now I try hard to focus

But the information slips

And I end up

Crying

Hurting

Screaming

Breathing

Breathing

Breathing

Realizing

That I could still be something

If I

Just

Give myself a break

I looked up at the painting

And it looked liked a different world in there

I don't understand now why birds are shot

Or why elephants are killed by poachers

I no longer see sadness in problems that are relevant to me

Because in this world I look up to

No one means anything to themselves

Everyone else is their entire life

The clouds are no longer just puffs of white

The food no longer just for satisfaction

There is meaning in the folds of colors underneath the blue diamond sky

I just want to be there now

Take me there

I blink

And take my eyes away from the painting with tears welling up in my eyes

If only it could be true