It’s hard to say at this latter day

If the Orkin Man or the rainbow bus

Or Amy did more to endanger us.

’Twas the only day that I said “okay,”

Thought, “youth group – why not?”

Dad took me to the parking lot,

I met Alan and Nate to wait

For Cedar Point, the coaster capital,

Lift, drop, loop and fall, all

Excitement a teen could want except

The bus was… yeah, I don’t have words for the bus.

“Somebody donated this wonderful bus to us!” Amy said.

“Amy, there’s a reason for that,” Alan responded.

Navy blue in stained old hue

Applied thirty years ago,

Sporting dingy rainbow

On its side, a nightmare ride

For anyone except a youth group head

With a crazed fixed smile; if you said

“Here’s a glass, and can I ask

Half empty or half full?” You’ll

Be sure that Amy would respond

“There is no water gone!

That glass is full, it will always be full,

We could fill a swimming pool!

Now let’s sing a song!”

So we boarded that bus and—

Half the seats ripped, stuffing loose in several, exposed springs in others.

Also, there was a hole. In the floor. ’Bout the size of a quarter. We could see pavement.

Now inside, Amy smiled and cried,

“We’ll leave real soon,

I’m just over the moon!

The man who will drive should soon arrive.”

We rolled our eyes, but arrive he did

And we realized the guy entrusted with us kids

Was the Orkin Man, yes the Orkin Man.

He pulled up in his Orkin truck,

And we said, “What the”—

You know, that wasn’t really fair of us. Anyone with proper training can drive a commercial vehicle, including a pest control specialist. There are probably lots of Orkin People who drive very well.

He just wasn’t one of them. But in fairness, he got us to the park just fine.

I lost my glasses on a water ride (did I mention I have 20/80 vision?) but damnit, I rode awesome roller coasters. The Raptor rules.

We rode till the night with the park alight,

Got our old friend Nate

To stop fearing fate

And just decide to enjoy coaster rides;

I was glasses-less and blind

But I did not mind.

We returned to our chariot,

Junk food in our guts.

Having roamed, we’d go home.

Rainbow bus on the road,

Us in back with dirty jokes,

Still kinda wired but starting to tire.

Rolling down the highway, I’d say

Twenty minutes, maybe forty,

-Awful metal on metal screech-

The bus pulls over, confusion all over,

I’m squinting but can’t see out,

Loud as hell, Alan shouts,

“THE ORKIN MAN HIT A CAR!”

Orkin Man goes off the bus, cursing us

And fate and bus, I assume,

But the cops came soon.

We were sitting there an hour,

Nothing in our power

But to be wiseasses.

Even without glasses

I could see eventually

When he came back aboard

Orkin Man was unmoored,

And he yelled “Shut up!”

As though to quiet us.

He pulled into a burger joint

Just an hour from Cedar Point

(With steady driving).

Orkin Man’s nerves were shot:

Leaving the parking lot,

Backed the bus into a pole.

Down the road we rolled.

We looked through the floor hole,

Alan said, “Sparks! I can see blue sparks!”

And I wondered if I was about to die.

Couple kids made a mess with the rest

Of the stuffing for fun on the trip,

Pulled it out through some seat rips

Made a foam pile, all the while

The bus drove on toward the early dawn

Albeit not very well, cuz the muffler fell

And rolled down a hill, but we did not die.

[This story is entirely real, and I still have a picture of the bus to prove it.]

if your friend with social anxiety asks you to come somewhere with them/do something with them, like walk to the bathroom or somewhere else, please go with them. we're not being clingy or annoying, we feel more secure to have someone else with us. getting yelled at for it hurts a lot.

How many more times will I have to text my friends long-winded messages filled with “I’m here for you” and “you’re going to be okay” before they don’t believe me? Before my promises that they are enough and that they are such a great friend stop working, before the truth I tell them that they cannot see gets so entangled they start to believe the lies their brains twist it into? I never realized that junior high would be the years where everyone started to break, the cracks and pressure starting to become too much, started to widen into fissures encompassing their very being, the urge to just succumb becoming more and more tempting with each passing day. I never realized that I would be the one frantically trying to mend those broken pieces, to put their crumbling walls back together because I couldn’t stand to lose them. I never thought that I would be one of the last ones standing, the one who managed to pull a shortstop before I went tumbling into the abyss so many of my friends seem to have slid into already. I’ve been told my views of the world are too idealistic, that I want a world that is too perfect to ever exist, but how is it my fault that I don’t want to lose my friends, not for real? Is it too much to ask to want to return the favor to the people that have helped me so much? The idea of teetering on the edge of this abyss so many of my friends have tumbled into all alone is too much to bear, I have to pull them out before it’s too late. I can’t fail. Because I’m afraid that if they leave, if they give up, that I will too, that my resolve will slowly start to crumble and I will become nothing, drawn toward the darkness forevermore because the light finally failed me.

I really don’t like acrylic nails. You know the ones. They’re just so... strange, y’know? I mean like, the concept. Who ever looked at their nails and said, “Hmmmm. Yes.

E X P A N D .” Like, who does that? Why would you get acrylics? Just so you make that gross CLICK CLICK CLICK when you type on a keyboard and inflict pain upon the entire room? Fingernails don’t work like that. Fingernails don’t expand upwards. Don’t even get me started on trying to open stuff or peel things. Acrylics just render your fingers useless. Why. Why would you want to get these. What is the point of them. Why do people get them

Don't stop, stop

Don't look at the waves

Night sea

A voice in the black world

Monthly Special

Jewelry

Darkness has been adopted

Second long

Blue actor

Ski Resort Saidi Abu Yan.

Bar unlimited

From

The light will come

White

Life

Burning star

More

If you are not!

From

Stars are still under warranty

Good book

Black echo

Different lights

False

you

And ...

Sometimes

And ...

new

And ...

---------------------

(Original)

Swirling, drowing, sinking under

the waves of empty

dark dismay

and black inky depth of forever shadows

covering the moonlit skies

gemstones glowing

flickering dimly

dripping depths

azure droplets falling

to obsidian ground

raven infinity

closing in

apocalypse coming

blinding nothing

take my hand

blazing star

pull me up

save me

drag me under

starlit apathy

shining midnight

black hole echoes

radiant light

perfect lies

you and I

one more time

forever

and

never

again

i'm 5'2". i’m tiny. i was just walking in the hallway and two GIANT (i’m talking like one of them is known for being 6'8") guys were like fighting and bumping into each other in the doorway i was trying to get through and the 6'8" jumped back and SMASHED into me, but i stood my ground. without turning around, he says, "sorry, sir" and then turns. i didn't break eye contact as the color drained from his face. i just stared him down and said in a low voice, "i am no sir, you fool."

he literally ran away.

I find myself alone.

Alone.

In a corner.

An empty corner.

No one around.

No one there.

Alone in an empty corner,

That doesn't deserve to exist.

I don't deserve to exist.

Wandering the halls,

Seeing the laughter of those who should,

Want me around.

Looking down on the world,

Hearing conversations.

Above it all,

But not above the feeling,

Of feeling alone.

Where are my friends?

Does no one want to be around me?

Where is friendship now?

"Lonely,

Lonely,

Little life.

I could kid myself,

In thinking that I'm fine."