I'm still picking out pieces of you from in between my teeth. You've wedged yourself between my molars; dug deep into my gums. You've sprouted like a poppy—roots weaving between my bicuspids and canines; blooms bursting through the roof of my mouth, escaping through my bloodshot eyes.

My stomach sours anytime my tongue grazes a memory of you. The imprints of your hands on my skin still give me goosebumps, but not the ones that made my nerves dance from an electric current of passion. No. My skin recoils at the ghostly touch of you, at the mere rememberings of your fingerprints. Fingerprints on my arms, on my neck, on my tongue.

I coat my mouth with the strongest weed killer I can find, but to no avail. Your roots continue to bury themselves deeper and deeper into my jaw, causing the brittle bone to ache from you.

I was an empty victory; a plot of dirt easily tilled and fertilized so that what you wished to grow could. And you grew nightshade. You grew hemlock and you grew opium. The roots of your garden continue to grow down into me. They wrap themselves around my fingers; they pierce my sallow skin like a needle and thread might pierce a piece of old cloth; they fill my ears and eyes and nose and mouth, closing me off to the outside world.

And I sit here. Decomposing. Awaiting deliverance by the season’s deepest frost.

her morning is cozy with

contented lips smirking as

she stretches little limbs,

somewhere beneath baggy fleece.

frays of hair hang loose over

puffy eyes and she purrs to herself

before standing, and drunk stepping

to the kitchen, for coffee she'll

hold with both hands like a treasure.

her voice scratchy and small,

and warm cheeks still soft from sleep.

the sight of her loosens my back

as I rip my body away from heart,

she will keep it safe with her till I

return from breaking the day for us both.

We exist only at the Equinox, as winter melts into spring, and summer fades into fall. Our souls meet tentatively as the sun kisses the tips of trees, and the moon caresses the star dimpled sky. I will always look for you in constellations, and you will always be waiting for a new dawn to break. We wait patiently for an eclipse; a final kiss to last decades until the universe wills us to cross paths once more.

3 a.m tears and thoughts.

Smoking as much as you breathe.

Vodka bottles all over the floor.

Trying to convince yourself alcohol is problem solving.

Friends don't mean much since you can't talk the pain out.

Loneliness is your new baby.

Darkness is home. Light burns your eyelids.

Contemplating on suicide, you find death attractive.

Mum can't do much about heartbreak.

"Pain is personal. You're alone no matter how extended your family can be or how many friends you think you have"

Wild horses,

Running in moonlight

Eyes wide with fear and exhilaration

Manes and tails tempest tossed

Hot air blowing through nostrils

Sweat falling like seasoned rain-

Their hooves thunder against uneven terrain.

When you said you love me

My heart ran wild

Skipping across stones

Leaping over logs

Running both ecstatic and afraid.

Pain is not my pleasure

Neither to give nor to get

Love’s a two edged danger

Where players may lose their bet

While those who choose not to play

Are certain to pay

With emptiness and regret.

A herd of wild horses

Running in moonlight

Eyes wide with fear and exhilaration

Hot air snorting through nostrils

Like a blacksmith’s bellows,

Sweat falling like seasoned rain,

Hooves thundering across uneven terrain-

To keep them running,

Just say you love me once again.

~You love me stupid~

I've always been a smart girl, except where love is concerned.

Awareness of this habit doesn't help - the trend continues with you.

Which tells me I'm licking-the-windows stupid over you.

You're radiating with flashing red lights,

Screaming sirens follow in your steps.

you may as well have "HAZARD" stamped on your forehead.

Goddamn, that makes you hotter.

You found the off switch in my brain.

A smart person knows to avoid things that cause pain.

But I come back again and again.

The way you love me has turned me into an idiot.

~~You love me stupid~~

You don't know how to love unselfishly,

what is wrong with you?

Your actions don't match your words.

Why can't you be straightforward?

If you want me, and your online sluts too...why don't you just say that?

Why do you lie? Why do you promise?

With ZERO intent to keep your word!

The back and forth -

Hot and cold -

Up and down -

S T U P I D !!!

It's confusing and hurtful.

I get angry at your lies, you get angry because I'm angry (which is absurd),

If you can't be kind, can't you at least be respectful?

You're a smart guy....except about love.

The ways you show love are moronic.

~~~You love me, Stupid~~~

Duh. Open your eyes, genius.

You know it's true.

Who else knows you the way I do?

Do you honestly think what we have is an ordinary occurrence?

We walked on broken glass, through sheets of fire, dodging bullets for a year...

Just to be together.

I ripped my skin open to show you my insides, you unzipped your skin and we had matching outfits.

That kind of connection is rare, darlin'.

Stop being a pig, stop being stubborn,

Stop being a disgusting, oversexed perv.

Accept what we can be together,

(You know you love me)

Or walk away and set me free.

(Stupid)

Just do something.

As a woman I have known many heartbreaks; here are a few.

When you are a young and pretty girl with beautiful long blond hair and blue eyes. You have friends, at least you thought you did.  Along comes some boy and your friends suddenly hate you.  You did nothing and yet you are found guilty.  You learn that other females are not your friend.  Crack!

When you get a little older you think you will trust someone outside family.  You fall in very deep teenage love with a wonderful young man but are forbidden because of age to see each other.  He now despises you and ignores you.  You still love him.  He dies in a terrible car crash.  You run out into the rain screaming and your heart burns, it hurts. 

You decide never to love again.  But you grow lonely.  Crash!

You are older now and once again trust someone.  On again, off again relationship full of passion, regrets, anger, joy and bliss ensues.  Both are so bad yet so good for each other. Slowly both feel that this is hate, not love but neither can be whole without the other. Marriage comes, followed quickly by painful divorce because neither were ready. 

You will always love each other but can never be together; destruction comes from your union and devastates everything in its path.  You learn to hate men and distrust them all.

Crumble!

The pain of loneliness and sting of failure drive you once again into the arms of a man. You both know this is not love but lust.  You need to forget and so does he.  It quickly ends when you are left pregnant and alone.  But this is a good thing in the end, you think.  You will finally have something, someone, who will love you unconditionally the rest of your life.  You need no one else because of this small person who is part of you.

Time goes on and the child is born and it is the most joyous moment in your whole existence.  A man child, ironic, but wonderful.  He grows, he looks just like his Mama, you are glad of that. Smash!  

It becomes apparent there is something not quite right.  You take him to all the specialists, doctors and therapists you can find.  Diagnosis, autism.  So now you have a child who mostly cannot tell you how he feels, etc.  Your heart breaks, not for yourself, but for him...your mother's heart breaks...it Shatters...