Please darling

I'm slipping,

And you still

Don’t see.

But maybe

You just

Look away,

And repeat.

It’s ok,

I say.

As I

Ignore all

The blood

On my

Teeth.

Please darling

I'm slipping,

And you still

Don’t see.

But maybe

You just

Look away,

And repeat.

It’s ok,

I say.

As I

Ignore all

The blood

On my

Teeth.

A pale-eyed goddess casts carmine light on my crimson desire

Hanging close enough to tempt and be tempted

Three strikes and my arm snatches the prey

Rotten promises squelch beneath my feet

Serpent and Eve live as one, happy with our prize

Blemished, yet alluring all the same

Teeth break the skin

Knowledge drips down my face

It’s intoxicating, so sweet and tart and crisp

Again

Again

Again

I strike and bite and pull flesh from its body

I’ve never tasted anything better

It’s over, yet I can’t stop

Sucking juices from it

Till the core slips through my fingers

Falling to the feet of its father

My sticky hands bear a guilty shine

Under the goddess’s all-seeing eye

A pale-eyed goddess casts carmine light on my crimson desire

Hanging close enough to tempt and be tempted

Three strikes and my arm snatches the prey

Rotten promises squelch beneath my feet

Serpent and Eve live as one, happy with our prize

Blemished, yet alluring all the same

Teeth break the skin

Knowledge drips down my face

It’s intoxicating, so sweet and tart and crisp

Again

Again

Again

I strike and bite and pull flesh from its body

I’ve never tasted anything better

It’s over, yet I can’t stop

Sucking juices from it

Till the core slips through my fingers

Falling to the feet of its father

My sticky hands bear a guilty shine

Under the goddess’s all-seeing eye

I run my hands over her supple skin, studying her. She hardly yields, young and nubile little thing she is. The soft fuzz of her cheek floods me with desire. My lips ghost her skin, breathing in her lovely scent. Delectable. I find my mark in her soft expanse of blushing skin. My teeth pierce her flesh, fresh juices flooding my mouth. I dig deeper, tearing her firm yet tender flesh. I rip off a piece and stare at the weeping hole in her side. She’s so stoic, refusing to submit even now. Not an ounce of pain mars her rounded face. I swallow my first taste of her, fluids dripping down my chin. There’s no holding back now. I go in, again and again, the initial tenderness vanishing in favor of ravaging every part of her. I strike bone, flesh peeling back from its pitted surface. She’s such a sweet girl, so tender. She’s laying back and letting me break her, not even a token protest passes her lips. What a pity, I’d been looking for a fight. Her slick melts into me. The little thing was probably enjoying this, being consumed. She was bred for it, after all. She’s running out of flesh to give. I caress her exposed bones, ready to end this. The last shreds of her succulent flesh disappear between my teeth. She’s unrecognizable without her pretty face. I discard her useless remains without a thought. She left a mess all over me, so inconsiderate. I wash away any evidence of what I’ve done. Better to deal with it now than letting all her juices dry onto the floor. Her taste lingers on my tongue. My lovely little peach is already half-forgotten, even as I'm pulling pieces of her from between my teeth.

Ever since I took my first step down this path, I knew I’d end up here. Still, it’s a shock for it to finally be rolling around. A handful of other initiates press around me, their faces carefully schooled into the empty but attentive mask deemed appropriate for large gatherings. Hopefully, mine looks the same. All our eyes are locked on the narrow doors before us. Soon, all of us that are strong enough won’t need to pretend. Nervousness flutters through my limbs, stomach turning to lead at the thought of what comes next. Older mages line the wall, their faces impassive. They’ll be the ones to guide us through the process. I try not to look at the large basin in each of their hands, and I try to forget its purpose. We all knew that this road would lead us here, our true initiation into our chosen field of magic. Today, we will truly become the Hollow Ones.

We all wear simple black robes, the thin fabric still leaves me feeling exposed. It was just a temporary garment, designed to allow us to become uniform and prepare us for the ceremony. In an effort to distract myself, my thoughts turn to Maria. She knows that I’m graduating today, but I’d kept the details from her. Secrecy is of great importance to Hollow Ones, especially anything that provides emotional power over us. Besides, there was no need to worry her. I’ll be fine, I’m sure I’ll be fine. There are professionals here in case anything goes wrong. In a few minutes, I’ll either have become Hollow or, or… no, I’m certain I can do this. I may not be strong, but I know that this is the path for me. I’m adept with magic, and this process will give me far more mastery over it. It’ll be worth it, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’ll be okay. All the Hollow Ones from the past few centuries have gone through initiation and come out all the stronger for it. The marks it leaves behind are unmistakable, as well as a source of pride. Once I cross this line, there’ll be no going back. A loud scrape gets our attention. The doors open, it’s time. My heart skips a beat, and it takes every scrap of apathy I can muster to stop it from showing on my face. No going back, I’m ready.

We file through the doors, our guides following suit. The room is split into a dozen cells, each with a single light shining from above. We all pick a room at random, and I end up second to the right wall. The guide that follows me is an older woman, her brown eyes dead. She shuts the door behind her, cutting off all noise from the outside. The floor, walls, and ceiling are all made of mirrors, repeating us a thousand times over. A high metal rack dominates the room, leather cuffs attached to the bottom. I know what to do, I’ve known for months what I have to do. I curse my shaking hands, betraying the panic of my rabbit heart. I’ve come so far, I refuse to fail in this.

I pull off the thin robe, my naked body already beginning to shiver. Bundling it up, I hand it to my guide. For a moment, I wonder who she was before she worked here. But, that doesn’t matter. I don’t need her name and she doesn’t need mine. Our stories, what led us here, none of it matters. She accepts it, tucking the bundle in the basin. I step up into the frame, the metal freezing against my bare skin. She sets the basin aside and straps the cuffs around my ankles, pulling them tight. This is it, it’s happening, this is real, I’m going through with this. She rotates a handle on the device, flipping me upside down. Blood rushes to my head, ears thumping with my pulse. There’s no going back. The basin is placed underneath my head, my robe thrown over her shoulder. My eyes meet hers, and she gives a gentle smile. It’s a polite reflex, we both know it. Her eyes are as dead as ever, and mine will be just the same. Finally, she produces the most important piece of the ritual and presses it into my clumsy, blood swollen fingers. I grasp it instinctively, its cool surface making something deep inside me recoil. I feel my face slip, a flash of fear allowed to escape. She doesn’t say anything. All she does is turn and walk away. The door closes, and I’m once again enveloped in silence. There’s nowhere I can look to escape the sight of myself. I know I’m strong enough to do this, I have the willpower. I regain control of my face, take a breath, and make myself look down at the knife clutched in my fist.

One smooth motion, that’s all it takes. My hands are uncoordinated from both dizziness and fear. I will survive this, I know I’ll survive this. Animal instinct won’t help me, I’m above them. I’ll go home and see Maria again, I’m not leaving her alone. She’d have already finished the job if she were in my shoes. My breath hitches and I forcibly level it out. I am empty, I am nothing, I am forever Hollow. One motion, that’s all. Come on Lilith, prove you’re the mage you claim to be. Fire blooms in my chest, and I drag the blade along my neck.

Red washes over my face, falling into my eyes. Far away, the knife clatters against the floor. Numbness spreads through my limbs, body in shock at its own action. My breath chokes through the hole in my throat, body still desperate for air. My vision starts going grey, and I see myself reflected again and again, but it’s a stranger staring back. It doesn’t hurt, it’s like watching it happen to someone else. Blood pools below me, a vat of color and heat that doesn’t belong here. Cotton fills my head, more and more cotton filling up my skull and pushing me out of it. All of the color leeches from my eyes, puddling with my blood. This isn’t so bad, everything’s all fuzzy. Static whirs around my body, eating up my limbs. That’s funny. Where’s that gurgling coming from? The void calls out to me, beckoning me downward. I agree, trailing after that all reaching emptiness. I slip my restraints and fall down, down down, all the way through to nowhere.

As soon as I enter the void, my delirium fades. No training or description had ever truly captured how it feels to enter the void, to truly experience nothing. No senses, no gravity, no time, no space, not even my own breath. It is eternal, encompassing everything and nothing. Black doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s so far beyond the darkness that my mind refuses to process it. Mankind was never meant to be here, we’ve feared it and all that it is since before history was written. The animal part of me, the piece that hides, that fights, that bares its teeth, all it can do is scream for mercy. It buries itself in every memory of pain and fear it can find, tearing through my mind in search of anything to drown out the silence. Time doesn’t exist here, all that exists is my own mind tearing itself in half trying to comprehend.

Even in the face of the sheer scope of nothing, I know what I have to do. All my painfearsorrowangerpassion, I let it rise. I scream into the void, pouring everything I have into it. It makes no difference, they simply fall into the emptiness, dissolved into nothing. More and more emotion wells up within me, desperately vented into eternity. Eventually, I give in, utterly spent. It had made no difference, had done nothing to fill the silence. I had nothing left to give. In the end, they meant nothing. The void calls out to me again, both a question and a promise. Something fades within my chest, and I agree without hesitation. Cold spreads through my body, cold without feeling. The vast unknown fills the place my emotions had been, curling around my heart and granting it strength. Without the distraction of feeling, I can truly sense the void’s embrace. I’d made the right choice, and it has accepted my offering. In return, it will grant me a taste of itself. A quiver runs through the darkness, a push. It’s time to leave, for now. No matter where I go after this, I will always carry the void within me. There’s no going back.

Weight forms into a body, shadows peeling back into senses. Something pulls me upright, and I return to reality. Well, most of me returns, save the piece I’d left behind. No matter what happens, I’ll never get that back, I will never truly be Lilith again. The guide had returned, holding the now full basin. A healer gently grasps my throat, their magic coaxing my blood back into my veins. I’m lightheaded and dizzy, but alive. My sluggish heartbeat and all three of our breaths seem cacophonous. The smooth metal of the frame is an avalanche of texture. There’s blood sticking to my skin, pulling on it as it dries. Every detail on their faces stands out in vivid color. I can taste my own mouth, though it’s overwhelmed by the powerful copper scent of my blood. Pain thrums through my neck, thumping in time with my heart. I’d never thought about the sheer volume of sensory stimuli that exist on this plane of existence, not until I’d experienced complete deprivation. Eventually, most of the fluid is returned to my body and the wound is sealed. It’s not healed completely, it will leave a permanent scar. It’s the same scar that adorns the neck of my guide, of every other Hollow One. That’s what I am now. I’d considered myself a stoic for most of my life. Looking back now, even I was full of emotion. It’s all gone now, drained out forever. I can see the concern and disapproval in the healer’s eyes, etched so plainly on their face. They look me over one last time before nodding at my guide. They’re trying to stay quiet, but the rustle of their clothes seems to echo against the walls. We’d been told that the sensitivity would fade in a few minutes as we reacclimated to the world and circulation improved. I glance away from them and see my reflection in the wall. Even while covered in my own blood, my eyes are completely lifeless.

The guide gives me back my robe, and I wrap it around myself. I understand now why they had chosen such a thin fabric. Its texture is minimal and its color is inoffensive. I’d called it black before, but I know better now. I’ve seen true darkness, and no fabric dye on Earth could ever hope to replicate it. My senses slowly return to normal, but the empty feeling lingers. It’s over, I’ve done it. The guide pushes the door open, allowing a wall of sound to crash into us. They exit, and I trail behind. We’re back in the waiting chamber, a few other recruits already there. They’re in the same state I am; a slash on their throat, blood on their face, nothing in their eyes. We stand in silence together, waiting for the rest of our peers to return. Most of them do, the blank look of success carved into their face. Two don’t return, even as the guides instruct us to leave. Either they’d failed to complete the ritual, or had carved too deep and bled out. It didn’t matter which, just that they weren’t among us and would never know the freedom of darkness. I can feel the shadows calling out to me, waiting to take shape. I’d studied this technique, but now I can finally put it to use. I step into the shadows, allowing them to envelop me. It’s familiar, almost protective now. I concentrate on the shadows of my bedroom, the darkness that gives it shape. With a pulse of magic, the shadows send me forward.

I stumble into light, bruising my knees against the floor of my room. Huh, it worked. The sense of accomplishment I had expected never came. Well, I suppose that makes sense. All I want to do is go to bed. I’m halfway to it before I remember my face. I don’t want to ruin my pillow, and it’ll stick and pull and get everywhere. It’s an effort of the will to turn away from the comfort and relief and head to my door. I’ll have to be quiet, I don’t want to run into Maria until I’m cleaned up. She’d ask far too many questions and care too much. I don’t want to deal with emotion right now. Moving quietly is second nature, and I make it to the bathroom undisturbed. I drag a wet face cloth around my head, roughly scrubbing the blood off my skin and out of my hair. I don’t have the energy or care to shower. Once most of it is gone, I rinse off the cloth and toss it on the towel rack. I’ll deal with all the fallout tomorrow. I manage to dodge Maria again on my back to my bedroom. As soon as I clear the door I flop onto the bed, pulling a blanket over me. The fall hurts my neck, but luckily it doesn’t open back up. The dark wraps around me like an old friend, providing more comfort than the blanket. Despite my weariness, sleep doesn’t come. My mind remains painfully blank, even as my body begins to sob.

Ever since I took my first step down this path, I knew I’d end up here. Still, it’s a shock for it to finally be rolling around. A handful of other initiates press around me, their faces carefully schooled into the empty but attentive mask deemed appropriate for large gatherings. Hopefully, mine looks the same. All our eyes are locked on the narrow doors before us. Soon, all of us that are strong enough won’t need to pretend. Nervousness flutters through my limbs, stomach turning to lead at the thought of what comes next. Older mages line the wall, their faces impassive. They’ll be the ones to guide us through the process. I try not to look at the large basin in each of their hands, and I try to forget its purpose. We all knew that this road would lead us here, our true initiation into our chosen field of magic. Today, we will truly become the Hollow Ones.

We all wear simple black robes, the thin fabric still leaves me feeling exposed. It was just a temporary garment, designed to allow us to become uniform and prepare us for the ceremony. In an effort to distract myself, my thoughts turn to Maria. She knows that I’m graduating today, but I’d kept the details from her. Secrecy is of great importance to Hollow Ones, especially anything that provides emotional power over us. Besides, there was no need to worry her. I’ll be fine, I’m sure I’ll be fine. There are professionals here in case anything goes wrong. In a few minutes, I’ll either have become Hollow or, or… no, I’m certain I can do this. I may not be strong, but I know that this is the path for me. I’m adept with magic, and this process will give me far more mastery over it. It’ll be worth it, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’ll be okay. All the Hollow Ones from the past few centuries have gone through initiation and come out all the stronger for it. The marks it leaves behind are unmistakable, as well as a source of pride. Once I cross this line, there’ll be no going back. A loud scrape gets our attention. The doors open, it’s time. My heart skips a beat, and it takes every scrap of apathy I can muster to stop it from showing on my face. No going back, I’m ready.

We file through the doors, our guides following suit. The room is split into a dozen cells, each with a single light shining from above. We all pick a room at random, and I end up second to the right wall. The guide that follows me is an older woman, her brown eyes dead. She shuts the door behind her, cutting off all noise from the outside. The floor, walls, and ceiling are all made of mirrors, repeating us a thousand times over. A high metal rack dominates the room, leather cuffs attached to the bottom. I know what to do, I’ve known for months what I have to do. I curse my shaking hands, betraying the panic of my rabbit heart. I’ve come so far, I refuse to fail in this.

I pull off the thin robe, my naked body already beginning to shiver. Bundling it up, I hand it to my guide. For a moment, I wonder who she was before she worked here. But, that doesn’t matter. I don’t need her name and she doesn’t need mine. Our stories, what led us here, none of it matters. She accepts it, tucking the bundle in the basin. I step up into the frame, the metal freezing against my bare skin. She sets the basin aside and straps the cuffs around my ankles, pulling them tight. This is it, it’s happening, this is real, I’m going through with this. She rotates a handle on the device, flipping me upside down. Blood rushes to my head, ears thumping with my pulse. There’s no going back. The basin is placed underneath my head, my robe thrown over her shoulder. My eyes meet hers, and she gives a gentle smile. It’s a polite reflex, we both know it. Her eyes are as dead as ever, and mine will be just the same. Finally, she produces the most important piece of the ritual and presses it into my clumsy, blood swollen fingers. I grasp it instinctively, its cool surface making something deep inside me recoil. I feel my face slip, a flash of fear allowed to escape. She doesn’t say anything. All she does is turn and walk away. The door closes, and I’m once again enveloped in silence. There’s nowhere I can look to escape the sight of myself. I know I’m strong enough to do this, I have the willpower. I regain control of my face, take a breath, and make myself look down at the knife clutched in my fist.

One smooth motion, that’s all it takes. My hands are uncoordinated from both dizziness and fear. I will survive this, I know I’ll survive this. Animal instinct won’t help me, I’m above them. I’ll go home and see Maria again, I’m not leaving her alone. She’d have already finished the job if she were in my shoes. My breath hitches and I forcibly level it out. I am empty, I am nothing, I am forever Hollow. One motion, that’s all. Come on Lilith, prove you’re the mage you claim to be. Fire blooms in my chest, and I drag the blade along my neck.

Red washes over my face, falling into my eyes. Far away, the knife clatters against the floor. Numbness spreads through my limbs, body in shock at its own action. My breath chokes through the hole in my throat, body still desperate for air. My vision starts going grey, and I see myself reflected again and again, but it’s a stranger staring back. It doesn’t hurt, it’s like watching it happen to someone else. Blood pools below me, a vat of color and heat that doesn’t belong here. Cotton fills my head, more and more cotton filling up my skull and pushing me out of it. All of the color leeches from my eyes, puddling with my blood. This isn’t so bad, everything’s all fuzzy. Static whirs around my body, eating up my limbs. That’s funny. Where’s that gurgling coming from? The void calls out to me, beckoning me downward. I agree, trailing after that all reaching emptiness. I slip my restraints and fall down, down down, all the way through to nowhere.

As soon as I enter the void, my delirium fades. No training or description had ever truly captured how it feels to enter the void, to truly experience nothing. No senses, no gravity, no time, no space, not even my own breath. It is eternal, encompassing everything and nothing. Black doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s so far beyond the darkness that my mind refuses to process it. Mankind was never meant to be here, we’ve feared it and all that it is since before history was written. The animal part of me, the piece that hides, that fights, that bares its teeth, all it can do is scream for mercy. It buries itself in every memory of pain and fear it can find, tearing through my mind in search of anything to drown out the silence. Time doesn’t exist here, all that exists is my own mind tearing itself in half trying to comprehend.

Even in the face of the sheer scope of nothing, I know what I have to do. All my painfearsorrowangerpassion, I let it rise. I scream into the void, pouring everything I have into it. It makes no difference, they simply fall into the emptiness, dissolved into nothing. More and more emotion wells up within me, desperately vented into eternity. Eventually, I give in, utterly spent. It had made no difference, had done nothing to fill the silence. I had nothing left to give. In the end, they meant nothing. The void calls out to me again, both a question and a promise. Something fades within my chest, and I agree without hesitation. Cold spreads through my body, cold without feeling. The vast unknown fills the place my emotions had been, curling around my heart and granting it strength. Without the distraction of feeling, I can truly sense the void’s embrace. I’d made the right choice, and it has accepted my offering. In return, it will grant me a taste of itself. A quiver runs through the darkness, a push. It’s time to leave, for now. No matter where I go after this, I will always carry the void within me. There’s no going back.

Weight forms into a body, shadows peeling back into senses. Something pulls me upright, and I return to reality. Well, most of me returns, save the piece I’d left behind. No matter what happens, I’ll never get that back, I will never truly be Lilith again. The guide had returned, holding the now full basin. A healer gently grasps my throat, their magic coaxing my blood back into my veins. I’m lightheaded and dizzy, but alive. My sluggish heartbeat and all three of our breaths seem cacophonous. The smooth metal of the frame is an avalanche of texture. There’s blood sticking to my skin, pulling on it as it dries. Every detail on their faces stands out in vivid color. I can taste my own mouth, though it’s overwhelmed by the powerful copper scent of my blood. Pain thrums through my neck, thumping in time with my heart. I’d never thought about the sheer volume of sensory stimuli that exist on this plane of existence, not until I’d experienced complete deprivation. Eventually, most of the fluid is returned to my body and the wound is sealed. It’s not healed completely, it will leave a permanent scar. It’s the same scar that adorns the neck of my guide, of every other Hollow One. That’s what I am now. I’d considered myself a stoic for most of my life. Looking back now, even I was full of emotion. It’s all gone now, drained out forever. I can see the concern and disapproval in the healer’s eyes, etched so plainly on their face. They look me over one last time before nodding at my guide. They’re trying to stay quiet, but the rustle of their clothes seems to echo against the walls. We’d been told that the sensitivity would fade in a few minutes as we reacclimated to the world and circulation improved. I glance away from them and see my reflection in the wall. Even while covered in my own blood, my eyes are completely lifeless.

The guide gives me back my robe, and I wrap it around myself. I understand now why they had chosen such a thin fabric. Its texture is minimal and its color is inoffensive. I’d called it black before, but I know better now. I’ve seen true darkness, and no fabric dye on Earth could ever hope to replicate it. My senses slowly return to normal, but the empty feeling lingers. It’s over, I’ve done it. The guide pushes the door open, allowing a wall of sound to crash into us. They exit, and I trail behind. We’re back in the waiting chamber, a few other recruits already there. They’re in the same state I am; a slash on their throat, blood on their face, nothing in their eyes. We stand in silence together, waiting for the rest of our peers to return. Most of them do, the blank look of success carved into their face. Two don’t return, even as the guides instruct us to leave. Either they’d failed to complete the ritual, or had carved too deep and bled out. It didn’t matter which, just that they weren’t among us and would never know the freedom of darkness. I can feel the shadows calling out to me, waiting to take shape. I’d studied this technique, but now I can finally put it to use. I step into the shadows, allowing them to envelop me. It’s familiar, almost protective now. I concentrate on the shadows of my bedroom, the darkness that gives it shape. With a pulse of magic, the shadows send me forward.

I stumble into light, bruising my knees against the floor of my room. Huh, it worked. The sense of accomplishment I had expected never came. Well, I suppose that makes sense. All I want to do is go to bed. I’m halfway to it before I remember my face. I don’t want to ruin my pillow, and it’ll stick and pull and get everywhere. It’s an effort of the will to turn away from the comfort and relief and head to my door. I’ll have to be quiet, I don’t want to run into Maria until I’m cleaned up. She’d ask far too many questions and care too much. I don’t want to deal with emotion right now. Moving quietly is second nature, and I make it to the bathroom undisturbed. I drag a wet face cloth around my head, roughly scrubbing the blood off my skin and out of my hair. I don’t have the energy or care to shower. Once most of it is gone, I rinse off the cloth and toss it on the towel rack. I’ll deal with all the fallout tomorrow. I manage to dodge Maria again on my back to my bedroom. As soon as I clear the door I flop onto the bed, pulling a blanket over me. The fall hurts my neck, but luckily it doesn’t open back up. The dark wraps around me like an old friend, providing more comfort than the blanket. Despite my weariness, sleep doesn’t come. My mind remains painfully blank, even as my body begins to sob.

She really is like the sun, my sister is. It makes sense, but that fact always catches me off guard. Her whole worldview is so contrary to my own that it’s startling. Every shift in her mood is distinct and noticeable, every nuance of her thoughts is written openly on her face. I can’t imagine allowing myself that kind of vulnerability. In all the time I’ve known her, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her tell a lie. She shines light on deception as easily as she makes it glow from her fingertips. No matter how many times I’ve tried to hide things from her, she always finds a way to get the truth out of me. Some small part of me hates her for that, as much as someone like me can feel hate. Even among other Incandescents, I’ve never met anyone as deeply passionate as her. Her joy brightens the room, quite literally. Her sadness is a pit so deep she thinks she’ll never climb out. Her anger flares with an unearthly heat, burning down all in her path. Her fear is the only emotion of hers I understand.

Fear is my element, the place where people like me thrive. Maria is so filled with life that it spills out in waves. I’m nothing like her. Emotion is nothing more than a distant memory. I shut that all away, draining it to the point of becoming an empty shell. I stared down the void and let it consume me. In return, it grants me a taste of itself. Wherever the shadows fall, my power spreads its wings. Those that feel, they’re terrified of us Hollow Ones. Darkness spreads from me, a twisted reflection of her light. Shadows bend to my will, corrupting shapes into nightmares. I can look someone in the eye, learn of all their fears and regrets, and drown them in it. There is no remorse, there is no hesitation. All that exists is the void. Most run from it, as well as from those of us that choose to embrace it. Maria understands me as little as I understand her. Her powers grow with the strength of her feelings, mine with the strength of my apathy.

It may be the result of nepotism, but she’s probably the strongest Incandescent I’ve ever seen. Light splits into rainbows of color around her at the slightest whim. Her skin glows with inner heat. I’ve only seen her rise to true anger a few times in my lifetime. Her rage transforms into deadly power. It’s a light so strong it burns all it touches, leaving the subject of her aggression little more than a burnt-out shell. No matter what she does, the visuals are extraordinary. She’s far more powerful than I’ll ever be. Her body is as strong as her spirit: tall, sturdy, and always brimming with energy. Even with all that power locked within… she’s still so gentle with me. She knows my limits better than I know them myself. When we spar together, her control is perfect. She has the sun to guide her to greatness but has never burned me with it. I attempt to return her kindness when I can. When I’m around her, I make an effort to simulate an emotional spectrum. She finds the idea of true emptiness as foreign and uncomfortable as I find being overemotional. Seeing me react with anything other than a flat stare seems to make her happy. I think she believes that they’re honest, that they’re pieces of my childish ways showing through. Or, maybe she’s just biting her tongue and hoping I remember joy. Added happiness enhances her abilities, so I continue. We don’t discuss it, it’s better that way.

As fierce and strong as she is, she’s not invulnerable. Not long ago, I witnessed a crack in her seemingly invincible exterior. An unending extreme passion as a guiding force tends to lead to fights. Eventually, you’ll pick a fight you can’t win. We’d been at the market. A fight broke out between her and another Incandescent, this one an older man. I don’t remember the cause, nor does it matter. All I know is that he threw the first punch. While she appeared to have him beat in terms of raw power, he had far more experience. In broad daylight with two Incandescent summoning powerful lights, my power was at a minimum. There were no dark places to hide in, no cast shadows to bend into fears. Simply lights so bright it reveals all the ugly imperfections of the world, hiding nothing. I pulled away from them, I couldn’t contribute so there was no point risking physical injury. That was the plan, at least until I heard Maria cry out.

He’d thrown sand in her eyes and kicked her, a cheap shot. He stomped on her ankle. That cracking noise and the pain etched on my big sister’s face made something deep within me twist in a way it hadn’t since I was young. Heat and tension sparked through my limbs, something strong. I stepped forward, the awful alien sensation fading as I felt the void call to me. I let it rise, giving myself over completely. This man had harmed one of my own, and he deserved retribution. All the light and heat around me was drawn in, casting shadows that shouldn’t have been. I felt the crowd flee at the realization of what was among them. They didn’t matter, all that mattered was the Vicious, Aggressive, Evil opponent that needed to be eliminated. He turned at the sudden darkness and chill in the air, a spike of fear building within him as he realized what that meant. I didn’t hesitate, Maria needs me delays were unnecessary. As soon as his eyes met mine, I dragged him down into his special hell.

Darkness is not a thing in and of itself. It is simply the absence of light. None of my powers can cause physical damage, not in the way that light can burn. However, mankind has feared the dark for as long as they’ve known light. It’s a simple trick, the one I used, but quite effective. I pulled the light from his eyes, the heat from his skin, the noise from his ears, wrapping him in the crushing weight of nothing. I took him into my domain, the empty world of silence. It doesn’t matter how fragile my body is, the void is eternal and I am its vessel. He thrashed and cried out, but all was lost under oblivion. I was a god there, and I wouldn’t let him forget it. I allowed him to perceive me, to stare up from the ground like a roach. My shadows changed, face flickering into a thousand others. They all held the empty stare of the void, all reaching but unreachable. Light sputtered around his hands, but any energy he could muster was swallowed into nothing, making no difference. In that place, he was utterly helpless. The Incandescent, for all their power, let their fears, their guilt, their despair all rest so openly in their eyes. It’s far too easy to simply root through them and ring them dry. A recent Guilt hung so tantalizingly in the back of his mind, perfect. He’d been a gambling man, spending thousands in one sitting. He’d stolen jewelry from his aging parents and sold it, using all the money in card games. The shadows moved over my face, carving out the image of his mother. I sensed his fear spike, his screams grew louder. Her voice echoed alongside mine, utterly lifeless.

“You’ve ruined me. You’ve taken our family history and thrown it to the wolves, all to try and tamp your greed. Was it worth it, Danial? Look at what you’ve done to me,” I moved the shadows again, his mother’s face growing gaunt, cracked, and wicked. He wailed, covering his face with his hands. I felt the void ripple, a vague pressure that slowly built in my skull. I knew I couldn’t maintain it, the light of the world was trying to push the void back to its resting place. Our voices grew louder. “Look at your guilt, this is all your fault. You’ve destroyed your legacy and us with it. All so you could lose again and again. I hope you’re happy, Danial. I’ll hate you until the day I die.”

I pulled away, calling the void back into myself. I let it return to its natural place, far from here. The man lay huddled on the street, weeping. I left him to sulk in his overwrought pit of guilt. I only had eyes for Maria. I could tell that I had pushed myself harder than was wise, but I didn’t feel it. There would be time for that later. She was still on the ground, clutching her wounded leg. She looked up at my approach, face pale and sweaty with pain. My hands were shaking and something cold had twisted in my stomach. I helped her stand, most of her weight rested on my shoulder. Her ankle was already beginning to swell, I’d need to wrap it. With both of us weary, it would be a slow walk home.

That event still sticks in my mind, even all these months later. She’s healed and is as energetic as ever. Still, I can’t stop thinking about it. When we go to the market together, I watch the crowd, waiting for any sign of his return. If he were to show his face again, I’d make him regret it. I’m sitting beside her now, leaning into her warmth. The void is cold, always so cold. Much like dark, cold is an absence, not an existence. I’m cold, and I always will be, just like she will always be brimming with heat. She wraps her arms around me, and I reciprocate. It’s an animal reflex, a natural draw to warmth. Nothing more, I’m still empty inside. It doesn’t matter how inviting she is, I am and will always be Hollow. My head rests on her side, her steady heartbeat slowly singing me a lullaby. That safe heat rising in my chest is merely residual from her. When I leave, I’ll settle back into cold silence. Not yet though. For now, I’ll stay with her and tell myself it doesn’t mean anything.

A dull ache runs through my back and wrists, but I pay it no mind. Time’s slipped away from me, all that matters is the glow of the screen and the smooth plastic of my keyboard. I’d been here for hours with no signs of slowing down. I have to capitalize on this moment of inspiration before my thoughts run away from me. While my room has long since grown dark, my computer still glows with the same unending intensity. A little eyestrain’s never stopped me before. Something feint and smoky still hangs in the air, leftovers from incense sticks that have burnt themselves out. The sharp clicks of the keys play me a melody, lulling me into the rhythm of work. The sound itself means nothing, but they lead to something far bigger than themselves. I can barely see the letters I’m typing, but their positions are long since locked into my muscle memory. Black text is starting to blur on that white background. I lean back and stretch, letting my spine voice it’s grievances with my life choices. Its pops are gunshots compared to the hum of my laptop’s fan and the delicate clicking keyboard. The soft scent from the mug beside me finally entices me to stop my fervor. I take a full drink from the mug, smooth porcelain releasing thin milky tea. It’s long since gone cold, but its gentle earthy sweetness is still soothing. I look over my work, scrolling dully through pages of 12 point Cambria, 1.15 spaced. The words run together, but I still know what they mean. These tiny black glyphs contain a whole other world within them. They’re just pixels, yet they’re able to convey the life of a civilization, as well as its downfall. Heh, I think I’ve been up too long. Weariness hangs heavy on my shoulders, my bed singing a siren’s song. With a quick swig, I empty my mug. It really should go in the sink, but the kitchen feels like it’s miles away. Like everything else, I’ll deal with it in the morning. I save my document and close the computer, the burning in my eyes finally easing. Like every night, I tell myself that I’ll stop staying up so late, that I’ll build better habits. Soft fabric and darkness envelop me, and I fall into the void.