An Expert Opinion

I sat between two dumpsters wishing I smoked cigarettes so that I'd have something to do. I stood up, brushing little rocks off the back of my pants, and lingered a little. I kicked a few pieces of trash around, not wanting to go back to work, when I felt a humming in the air. Strange. I moved toward the feeling and peered over the side of the dumpster that was nestled in the dark alley. A lamp. It caught my eye immediately. Not because it was shiney, or because there was a neon florestent sign in all capital letters that said "MAGICAL LAMP," but because I was a magical lamp expert. Obviously. I grabbed it and stroked it gently in my arms.

I heard the hissing first, like a leaky pipe. A purple genie swirled up into the dark sky, and within seconds swarmed toward me like bees to the hive. 

"One wish." Genie hissed, malicious eyes threatening me. I looked away quickly, the words hot to my face.

I had never dealt with a lamp like this one.

"What's the catch?" I mumbled. 

"You'll die tomorrow." 

Was that sarcasm?

A few heart beats passed.

"The catch is that I can only solve problems." The genie sighed.

My mind started whirling, as the smoke surrounding the genie circled me and played with my nostril hairs. I could wish for something cheesey like ending world hunger, curing all sickness, or stopping violence and hatred. I could ask for something a little more selfish like making me in shape again, or better yet, loveable. I did have a fat problem and a loneliness problem and come to think of it - a money problem too. But, ultimately, I always wanted a place to belong. I let my mind caress the idea for a moment until twenty more ideas took hold. The longer I thought about the wish I'd make, the unhappier I became.

I clenched the genie's lamp fingering the handle. It felt like I was holding a loaded gun. I was holding myself hostage. When was I going to surrender?

"What will it be?" The genie growled. 

"I think the problem is that you're stuck in this lamp, Genie, so my wish is for your freedom." 

Puff! The genie was gone. Before he could even thank me. Before he could even bestow upon me some generous two to twenty-five complimentary wishes.

God, I was selfish.

I looked around. When was I going to break free myself? When was I going to live the life I knew I was capable of living? Why didn't I wish for that...