I twist my fractal mind,

attempting to align with something I recognize,

but only fragments of me are revealed;

Some genius, a little beauty, and piles of hate—

I’m a scattered jigsaw left feeling unsatisfied and missing pieces.

I rotate again,

assuming that if I continue turning, I’ll somehow find the answers,

but all I find are more shards of glass and strewn pieces.

There are no real messages hidden here, are there?

Just more of myself.

I cannot be my own answer, can I?

The shapes of me continue to corkscrew.

I’m a crystallographic enigma caught in an egocentric trance.

Mesmerized by all my colors, I begin to lose time.

I become lost, inspired, and curious, yet constantly pessimistic about my existence.

Is that even possible?

Another turn and I feel I am meeting a stranger,

yet every part of me has lived here all along.

I think. If only I had met myself earlier, where would I be?

but then I must be reminded, I am here now.

I squint inquisitively wondering—

What's the meaning? What's my purpose?

Maybe with each adjustment, I change for the better,

and sometimes for the worse,

but change happens regardless.

If that’s true, then aligning to perfection will never work, can never be achieved,

and the answer lies within chaos itself.

Chaos...

…It’s the only certainty.

Perhaps I can come away with a deeper appreciation,

of who I am, who I was, and whom I have yet to become,

and maybe love is the same way.

Perhaps that’s why they say you should love yourself first.

So, I twist my mind once more

and greet me for the first time in a while.

Hello stranger, it’s time we met.

I found you in the corners of my room

In the nooks and crannies where

I had carefully laid the pieces of myself

That no one else should see

The fears, the hopes, the shared lost dreams.

Our hands, they mingled in the dark

And my eyes caught on a flash of light,

Gold and blues

Your favorite hues

They mixed til all I saw was black

I reached for you, but could not find

The hands I held, the eyes that cried

For you like me, are human too

And you had passed just like they do

To someone else, someone new

And I was left to look for you

in pieces of sky turned pink and blue

My regrets

coating souls

crushing weight

struggling torso

blackened remorse.

Can’t

fling it off.

I'm screaming your name,

but you

don't hear,

or

care...

27.6.2020

you say

"i feel you".

but you feel you.

and i feel me.

and it feels

narrow

and i feel

stuck.

We make things,

we create things,

we buy things,

to solve our problems,

to lessen our worries.

But paradoxically,

and very much amusingly,

the more things we have,

the more problems we have,

and the more worries we have.

That's how life just is.

Now, that's just hilarious.

· Don’t think that others

Are better than you

Because they

Are more confident.

· Don’t be the one

Who always gives in,

Doing favours for people

Who do nothing for you.

· Don’t put yourself under pressure

Because others have unreasonable expectations,

Making you feel guilty

For not meeting them.

· Don’t put up

With people who don’t respect you

Or abuse you

In word or deed.

· Don’t hide your emotions

Behind painted smiles

And pleasant words

Masking what you feel.

· Don’t be the one

Saving everyone else

With no-one to turn to

And not saving yourself.

· Don’t sacrifice your life

Don’t waste your time

And don’t forget

How good you are

And don’t forget

To always be you.

Don’t.

I

I never knew

I would fall in love again.

I never knew

I could feel this way again.

A world of possibilities

opened up to me,

falling like stars,

soaking into my soul.

I never knew

you loved me from the start.

I never knew

you were my destiny.

A single monent,

a single word,

changed everything,

falling like stars.

Now I know,

what you always knew.

Tell me

what you been doing...

...leaving signs

outside my door?..

Tell me

what you been saying?...

...roll snake eyes

to add your score...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

I feel a cold wind

under my clothes...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

...Now I know...

Now I kno-o-ow...

I've been away

from the fire

too long it seems,

as your north wind's

taking it's toll...

Both wheels are shot...

that ball on the cot

is a wounded cat

you tossed

to the snow...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

I feel a cold wind

under my clothes...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

...Now I know...

Now I kno-o-ow...

Tell me

what you been doing...

...leaving signs

outside my door?..

Tell me

what you been saying?...

...roll snake eyes

to add your score...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

I feel a cold wind

under my clothes...

I feel a cold

wind

under my skin...

...Now I know...

Now I kno-o-ow...

©

6/26/20

Bunny Villaire

I tried to see the light,

While seeking my inner fight

Somewhere between body and mind

I found my inner sight

Im fighting with all my might

To spread my wings

And take flight

But I cannot see my path

The difference between wrong and right

Who am I to judge

With these words I must recite

Everything I think I know

A feeling so contrite

I've lived many lives

I've gazed into the sun so bright

But I cannot see the end

Only endless stars in the sky at night

I'd like to believe that I am infinite

With a flame awaiting to ignite

Hopefully one day I'll be able to say

I'm more than just alright

For the lost ones I'll have some incite

On this spiral we call life

The journey of life is long

So I guess I’ll have to hold on tight