It starts with a meeting of eyes across the crowded room.

The air is filled with the buzz of music and merry-making, and the ballroom floor is brimming with couples dancing. She catches his glance from across the room, and he raises an eyebrow. An invitation. She smiles hesitantly in affirmation, and the two meet each other halfway on the dancefloor.

He places his hands on her waist, while her arms drape around his shoulders, and they move in an all too familiar rhythm. Forwards and backwards, left and right, a twirl and a spin - the dance is ingrained in them from years of attending royal celebrations.

After a minute or so, she lifts her gaze to his eyes. Blue and brown meet, both wary and uncertain. This is dangerous territory; the minefield of court politics is a hazardous one, and neither party wants to fall victim to it. Both from opposing families, a controversial relationship is not something they are willing to risk. After all, we know what happened to Romeo and Juliet.

Yet, despite their better intentions, that night ends with them together, and leads to many more. Months pass, filled with days of illcit meetings behind closed doors and sneaking furitive glances at each other in public. Every time their eyes lock, unsaid secrets shimmer in the air between them.

But in the end, their relationship is a house of cards. Each smile, each touch, is another card meticulously added to the structure, the charade. Until a single blow from one of them is all it takes for it to come crashing down.

They both want what they deem the other to have. Money. Power. Influence. And this twisted game of chess is their way of getting it. Both trying to manipulate the other, in a battle of flirtation and wits where the stakes are dangerously high. The royal court is made up of families that will turn on each other in a heartbeat; they will get what they want, even if it means using their own children to do it.

Because in the end, all's fair in love and war.

There's alot of history inked in my tattoos. There's alot of misery, alotta things I wish I didn't do. But regrets are for those unprepared for the truth. Unprepared for the road ahead but that's not me or you. We come from stronger stuff, a rarer breed, polished clean by Jesus, whiskey and river streams. Wake and bake on my hopes and dreams. Keeps me in the race till I can spread my wings. A phoenix from the ashes there's no taming me. Take my cues from diviner wisdom than they could ever teach. Beware the snakes, the bend the breaks; the toothless fears that can mercilessly consume. But no one can kill what you create, today is just the clay make it what you will. Make it beauty, make it truth, peaceful or a thrill. Just don't forget you are art brought forth from the dust. Don't let em judge your flaws or scars those add shade and depth brush strokes done with love. Reciprocate pass it on and we could share a better home. Burn the bridges to the system, there's a better path we could be on. But what do I know I'm just an architect of these poetry and songs.

“Hey Charlie.”

“Yes, sir,” he sat up straighter.

“I need you to do something with this. It cannot die.”

“Can do sir.”

“Here is some safe supplies. You need to find your own way to heat him up.”

“Yes sir.”

They slammed the door shut locking all the locks behind them. I lay here unable to really move. I saw the cuts on my body that kind of froze stopping the blood from flowing. I was fading again when someone place their hand on my arm. I sort of jumped. I began to breathe fast heavy, painful breaths.

“Calm down. It’s Charlie. Not going to harm you,” he spoke softly, “Come on, we need to get you off the floor.”

“I . . . I cannot move.”

“I got you,” he scooped me up and moved me to my bed, “There you go. You’re so cold.”

“They said I was ninety-five.”

“Degrees? You need to get warm now,” he wrapped a blanket around me.

“It is so cold.”

“I’m trying to heat you up but you are so darn cold. If you will allow me, I could use my body heat to try and raise yours.”

“D . . . do anything you want. Just don’t let yourself get too cold.”

“I will be fine.”

He took off his clothes and placed his chest against mine. My shaking was still very bad though. I drifted off into a light sleep. All of a sudden I woke and began to breathe fast heavy, painful breaths. Charlie looked over at me from the edge of my bed and placed a calming hand on my leg.

“You scared the hell out of me. Take slower breaths. Calm down.”

“I’m so s . . . sorry.”

“No, no. It’s okay.”

I tried to sit up but ended up collapsing back down, “Ow.”

“Be patient with yourself. You need time to recover. Let me assist you,” he helped me sit up, “There you go. Oh my god, you are still ice cold. Can you tell me what happen? Speak slowly and take your time. There is no rush.”

“O . . . okay. I’m trying my best.”

“Good thing you don’t stutter every sentence because you would have been so tired and I would have gotten confused.”

“Funny. So you saw what they did in here.”

“Yes. And it was the most awful thing I have witnessed.”

“Then I was forced to walk down a series of hallways.”

“Sorry to interrupt. But I need to see something.”

“Go ahead.”

He moved back my blanket and touched an area above my knee. A feeling like an electric shock went up my body. I jolted back in pain, “Just as I thought. Sorry about that. Just testing to see what they did. They want to weaken you more by not allowing you to walk which you really cannot now.”

“Great. They led me into a freezing cold room where they tied me down, stripped me down, and coated me in water. H . . . he questioned me and questioned me even when I had nothing else to say,” I was starting to get breathless.

“Slow down.”

“The room was twenty-five degrees.”

“A person should not be out in that weather bundled up in heavy clothing.”

“I . . . I know. He kept saying that if I told him he would take less time off. Him and a nur . . . nurse were arguing when he said something,” I stopped again to breathe, “He said that my family left me here to fix me and to make me better. To make m . . . me pay for was I have d . . . done. And th . . . that th . . . they were going to k . . . kill me in the first place,” I could not catch my breath.

“Take a break.”

“I . . . I just have a few things to say.”

“You can say them when you are taking slower breaths.”

I forcefully slowed my breathing, “After that they untied me and dragged me back here. I was fading in and out of conciseness the entire time.”

“Let me get you more clothes.”

“D . . . don’t get in trouble.”

“I know better.”

He tossed back on his clothes and walked over to the door. He called out to get someone’s attention. By the voice I could tell he got the man from before.

“Is he alive?”

“Barely. Can you get him some clothes and maybe a thermometer?”

“Yes. I can get both. Give me a moment,” he rung someone on the phone. Seconds later that someone showed up, “Echo I know you can hear me. Get up and get this.”

“Sir I don’t think he can.”

“Stand down or you will go back.”

“Get up.”

Even the slightest movement caused terrible pain. I placed my trembling hand on the bed and slowly pushed myself up. I was screaming. Screams I had to muffle. The first step had me on the floor. I could not bear the pain. Tears just ran down my face without any control. I continued to get only to fall back down until I got to the door. He handed me the items and I collapsed on the floor as he walked away. Charlie quickly was at my side.

“Please leave me.”

“I love you too much to do that.”

“I beg you to leave me.”

“I cannot do that,” he scooped me off the floor. I grunted in pain and he placed me back down on the ground, “Sorry.”

“D . . . don’t a . . . apologize.”

“You cannot stay on the floor so I am quickly going to move you.”

“Just do it.”

He scooped me up again and move me over to the bed. I screamed when anything small thing would touch my leg. No matter how fast he moved me it still put me into overwhelming pain. I lay here with my eyes closed until he came back over.

“Wish that I had not become your roommate yet?”

“No not really. You need help and no one else in the entire place can do that. Also I feel connected to you. And you are a very interesting person.”

“Thanks. I . . . I wonder what th . . . they wanted from me.”

“I don’t know but this is pure torture. Okay you have to trust me.”

“I do. Why?’

“I need to look at your leg so I can see if I can do something.”

“Hand me a cloth.”

“Why?”

“My mouth.”

“Oh. Here you go,” he helped stuff the cloth into my mouth, “This is something I need to do. I know you told me not to apologize but I am sorry.”

He placed his hand on my ankle and looked up at me. I closed my eyes and nodded my head. He began to feel around for I think broken pieces. I was gripping the bed sheets and screaming. The cloth in my mouth muffled every sound. He stopped before moving on and removed the cloth from my mouth.

“Take a breather for a second. You ankle is most definitely shattered.”

“I’m exhausted.”

“You can sleep soon. Ready?”

“No.”

He placed the cloth back in my mouth and moved on to my calf area. The one area he touch made my entire leg feel like I was being stabbed my a million needles. I my entire body jolted.

“Messed up nerve sorry. There was no way to tell with the naked eye,” he realized that could not speak and removed the cloth, “Forgot about that.”

My hands are gripping the sheets so hard. I talk through my teeth, “There are a million needles in my leg and this half of my body.”

He took my hands after prying them off the bed, “I’m trying my hardest but I am no doctor.”

“I know. I will th . . . thank you better later.”

“Don’t worry about it. Can I continue?”

“Do anything you need.”

The cloth was back in mouth as he continued to feel my leg. Every touch felt like I was being shocked until the needle feeling went away. His hands moved all the way up my leg and up to my side. His touch made me feel something that was unexplainable. I moved my hand up to gently caress his face. He smiled and kissed my forehead. He took the cloth and threw it beside me.

“They would kill me if I were with you. A relationship with another man is forbidden in my family.”

“Tell them I am just a friend.”

“A friend with benefits.”

“Leave that bit out,” I let out a small laugh, “Laughing hurts. Everything hurts.”

“Can I wrap up your leg?”

“Go ahead.”

He pulled the sheets from his bed and sat me up to begin wrapping it tightly around my ankle. I was biting my lip to stop myself from making any noise. He pulled the other sheet off his bed and did my upper half of my leg. He went all the way up wrapping it tightly. My entire leg were wrapped in a tight, bulky cast made out of bed sheets and pieces cloth. The shaking in my body was still the same which proved a little challenge.

“You won’t be needing these,” he held up the pants that the man handed me, “so I am going to wrapped your hand.”

“Who is th . . . that man?”

“He is the warden or the one who controls everything.”

“It is weird to see him a lot. You are a special case.”

He tore the pair of pants into strips and made a make-shift cast for my hand. Afterwards he placed his hands on either of my sides and kissed me.

In between kisses I managed to speak, “For someone fearful of being caught.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Not in anyway. I am the opposite of complaining.”

“Good.”

He began to leave trails of kisses down my neck. I softly laughed and traced the muscles of his stomach. At the worst time, an image popped up in my head. A big man, the one from the other images, was attacking me. I was thrown into a bridge while he was calling me every name. He walked up and stomped on my foot. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Snow was falling all around. He picked me up from my buttoned top and threw me back down. I was screaming that it was an accident over and over again. I caught a glimpse of a road sign; H something ville. He was beating the life out of me while everyone was just watching. He had a handful of my hair and was bashing my head off the ground. I closed my eyes and opened them again but back in present day. Charlie was holding me with an expression of worry. The pain of my body came back to me. I just realized that I cannot feel pain or anything when I am trapped in these mind images.

“What did th . . . that happen at the worst time? Sorry, I cannot control them.”

“Are you okay?”

“What did I do?”

“Started yelling. I covered your mouth to silence you. You almost started fighting the air.”

“You probably th . . . think I’m crazy now. Charlie I’m sorry.”

He smiled, “Like you said these images are uncontrollable. It did scare me though. Remember not to apologize for something that is out of your control.”

“Did not mean to scare you. When did it snow last?”

“Like a little over a month ago. A blizzard really. They allowed me into the courtyard. Usually I cannot go out with the others.”

“Where are we?”

“In a mental institution.”

“I know that. I mean what town.”

“Cottonwood.”

“Do you know of a town that begins a H and ends with ville.”

“Yeah Honeyville. It’s like thirty miles from here. Hey you’re stuttering less but still freezing cold.”

“Can I tell you about it?”

“Of course. And afterward I need to get your temperature.”

“Are you my doctor now?”

“I suppose so. The warden told me to keep you alive.”

“Aren’t there rules about dating your doctor?”

“Rules are meant for breaking,” he kissed me, “And certain things stay behind closed door. You are an exception.”

“Oh. I . . . I like that.”

“Do you want to sit up?”

“Please. I feel so incompetent.”

“You are not. They hurt you so bad.”

He sat me up and I relayed the image in my head. He slowed me when I lost my breath or when I began to stutter too much. I could see that he was interested but in a caring, curious way.

“My turn to tell you something but temperature first,” I groaned, “Shush. It’s not bad.”

“I just hate being treated like I am incompetent. I just feel so weak and I just hurt everywhere.”

“Wish I could help with that but all I can do is make you smile or feel more comfortable.”

“That is all I need. Sorry to be a pain,” I took a deep breath, “It is j . . . just weird to not be able to move most of my body or do anything. Are you sure you still want me here?”

“Yeah must be weird not being able to move. And yes I still want you here. Now hold still,” I smiled and let out a light laugh, “Oh. You can’t move and I told you to hold still.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey beforehand I want to test something.”

“Go ahead.”

He hand me his paper and a pencil, “Write your name and put a straight line underneath.”

“I can’t,” I held up my hand that was still trembling.

He took my hands, “Try.”

I put the pencil in my hand and slowly wrote my name. He watched with a smile. Then I tried my hardest to draw a straight line. The pencil kept slipping from my hand but he placed it back in.

“Thanks,” he took the notebook back.

“How did I do?”

“Your line is more crooked than a piece of paper crumbled and re-crumbled a hundred times.”

“Th . . . that’s nice,” my words faded.

“No more loosing conciseness on me. One more kiss for the night.”

He kissed me one last time for today. Keeping his face only an inch from mine, he ran his hand down my face and looked deeply into my eyes.

“Never thought I would feel this way again.”

“Never thought I could be this happy and in this much pain at the same time.”

“Promise it will go away some day,” I moved my hand up to his face and leaned up to kiss him.

“Thought we were done for today.”

“Are you complaining?”

“Not at all. Now let’s get your temperature taken so we can get on to my story telling. I’m eager to tell more. No more stalling.”

Sometimes I think I’ve lived too long.

Maybe it’s because I’ve lived everything there is to be lived.

Nothing excites me anymore, nothing makes me feel. Even the sight of my two beautiful children, running in the backyard with their father makes me feel nothing but sheer numbness.

I’m barely 30, and everything drives me insane; the sound of cars driving by, the echoing laughs of children in the park, my husbands voice...

The thought of death now appeases me. It’s the only thing I seem to look forward to, and the one thing I pray for every night as I go to sleep; the hope of never waking up.

The only thing that makes me feel is seeing the life pour out of their eyes, their skin going cold and their last gasping breaths as they beg me to spare them. But why would I? If I’m bound to live in this meanlingless world, and doomed to spend the rest of my days awaiting something that might never come, why not carry on doing the one thing that reminds me what is it to live?

I have become a monster, and I don’t know how to make it stop.

I felt people moving me but my body was too exhausted to look or even move. They have weakened me beyond anything. I stayed wherever they put me and did not open my eyes until about an hour later. Again I really cannot tell the time, I just take wild guesses. They placed me back in the same room from before and left the restraints off probably because how weak I am. I heard Charlie doodling something in the corner so mustered up some strength to turn and see him. He was looking at me in a way that looked like he was studying me. My mouth had zero moisture and it did not feel good to talk. My lips were cracking and starting to bleed.

“There is a glass of water by the door for you.”

“Okay,” I responded dryly.

“What happened to you?”

“You would never believe me and there is not much to tell”

“You would be surprised. Try me.”

I described exactly what happened and the pieces beforehand. He seemed interested and closely payed attention to what I was saying. After I finished speaking, he got up and picked up the glass of water. I did not tell him to do anything but he helped me sit up and then handed me the glass. One drink of water and my stomach turned to knots. This was the first time I could actually analyze my body. My left hand was severely discolored and twisted, there were various marks and bruises everywhere, my foot was swollen and discolored, and a lot of other things. It made me all more curious as to what happened in my unknown past.

“Interesting. So that is all you know from the past?”

“For now.”

“Can I see your hand? I can fix it.”

“Why do you help me?” I asked with a confused yet curious tone.

“You seem different. And why do you trust me?”

“You are the only one who dared to speak kindly to me.”

“Yes.”

“This may hurt a bit. Try to stay quiet. We do not need guards coming down to investigate. They hate it when two of the inmates interact unsupervised.”

“I do not even have a scream in me. And I love how you called us inmates.”

“Not be mean but you have no voice in you.”

I silently laughed, “That’s true.”

He took my hand to feel around for the broken pieces. After finding one, he would try to move it back in place which needless to say that hurt a lot. He did it with good precision almost like he had done this sort of thing before.

“Try not to use it too much.”

“Thanks.”

“Not a problem. Try not to let this place get to you.”

“It seems like it already has.”

“I meant your spirit.”

“I can try but I also have to find it before I lose it,” I stated.

“You will find it. Maybe not while in here or maybe you will.”

“What are my chances of ever leaving?” I ask in doubt.

“Depends on the person.”

“Great. You seem like a nice person and you have been here for a while.”

“I have my reasons.”

“I have nowhere to go if I leave.”

“You will find it.”

“Hopefully. Did they say anything about me?”

“To be careful but honestly I did not listen and I never do. I like to make my own thoughts on people before listening to others.”

“That is a lovely trait that will get you farther in life.”

“Thanks. Try to stay out of trouble. They will leave you alone more.”

“I literally do nothing wrong and they do this to me.”

“You are something special to them.”

He went back to drawing on his bed. I sat there moving my arms, rolling my shoulders, moving my head, and basically anything because I could finally move. It felt good to move but bad at the same time because every part of me hurt. The weakness taking over my body. I could not remember the last time I had eaten anything. I removed my shirt to wrap around my hand. My chest was many different shades of purple, black, and blue. You could also see my ribs too. Charlie sat there with a shocked expression on his face.

He came back over to where I was and began to gently trace a bruise on my side, “Who has hands that big in your life?”z

“Charlie, I have no idea. How bad is it?”

“They are bigger than my hands.”

“You are so tiny.”

“True. It looks like the hand of a monster.”

“Could it be my father? The man in my images.”

“That is a possibility. When is the last time you have eaten?” he asked tracing my ribs.

“No idea.”

“Maybe to get you to speak.”

“I have nothing to speak about.”

“I know. Strange.”

He talked to me about everything that has gone on here. From what he is saying it seems like no one ever gets to leave. We chatted like old friends as he told me these stories. Who knew I would find a wonderful friendship here. Wherever here is. My mind was now showing me an image of the same man before holding a pale blue boy. He had zero color to him. He was not alive. This man was still screaming and the women still crying. I looked down to see a pool of blood gathering on the wooden floor below me. Looks like I was huddled in the corner. The man was now on the phone. Were they my family? I could barely pull out any features before I got back to reality.

“How often are these flashbacks?”

“They vary. I could go days without one or I could have a day where I have serval. They all last different amount of time and show different things. Different pieces all mixed up that I have to piece together.” “Do you mind telling me what it was about?”

“Every time I tell you one, you have to share something about yourself.”

“Deal.”

He sat against the wall besides me as I began to explain the strange image. He listened well and respectfully. His calming hand was placed on my knee.

“Do you think they are your family?”

“I think so. I almost am positive the man was my father. I wonder if that dead boy was my brother then.”

“From what you say, I think it is.”

“Oh god. I killed my brother,” I say almost in a panic.

“Don’t jump to conclusions. You still don’t have a clear thought to back that up.”

“What if I did? What if I killed my brother?”

“I don’t think you did based off your injuries.”

“This could have happened afterwards. Guess I will just figure it out at some point.”

“My turn to tell you something. What do you want to know?”

“Previous relationships?”

“Oh, this might take a while because it is way more complicated than you think.”

“I will listen.”

“Well I really only had one relationship in my life. About a year and half ago it started. Cannot even remember his name now which is sad really. These people took it out of me. I was ready to tell my parents two months after I met him and they did not take it well. I was kept isolated in my house away from all the bad until they found a nice brochure for this place. It looked like a nice, beautiful place to send your loved one to get better. I found out the hard way it is not. My family thought they could heal me with a little time. They thought I was evil and was going to bring bad luck to the entire family. Like I said they kept me in my room away from everyone. The only interaction I had with people were when my family would bring me food. No electronics or anything. All I had to do was read books and study information.”

“That’s more than awful. Sorry to bring up a sore subject.”

“It’s okay. It’s nice to talk to someone about it. Especially someone who listens.”

“Always have open ears.”

“I was locked up for a month before being taken here.”

“How do I know I can trust you? That you won’t tell everyone,” He moved his head to kiss me, “That works,” I kissed him back.

He laughed, “I would never tell because I am telling you things that I would never want them to know.”

“Are there cameras in here?”

“Cannot see us from here.”

“Your lips are so dry.”

“I know. I think I am going to take a nap while I can.”

He went back on his bed to doodle and I painfully laid myself out. I allowed my body to rest and to sleep. It was not the most pleasant of sleeps but it was okay. Of course I woke up to rattling on the metal door. Charlie payed no attention to it.

“Wake up,” the same man from before opened the door. Behind him were three nurses and two bigger guys, “Walk over here and do not try anything.”

I slide myself out of bed and tried to stand but any pressure on my foot sent excruciating pain throughout my body. I let a sort of muffled scream and fell to the floor.

“I can’t,” I nearly cried out still on the floor.

“Get up.”

I try to stand again but soon fall to the floor. My body was so weak and brittle. Everything was hurting. There was no way to walk on my foot, “I can’t,” I say even weaker than before.

“Get. Up,” he says louder.

I stood up again and took small painful steps towards the door. Each step sent even more pain through my body. At the door way the two big guys grabbed me by my shoulders.

“See not so hard. Never talk back to me,” he slapped me so hard it knocked me back.

I got one glimpse of Charlie before they dragged me away and he looked horrified. They were taking me down hallway after hallway making me walk. I was blindfolded so it was like walking bind. Eventually they took me into a freezing cold room and tied me down. Whoever was tying me down tightened the one around my ankle. My bare back was against a table that felt like ice. The man took off my blindfold as someone was cutting my pants off. Everyone around me were wearing winter coats and protective gear. Once my pants were off, he order them to pour water on me. The thermometer read twenty-five degrees Fahrenheit. It was below freezing. The thought of death is what is on mind currently. I was shaking from the cold.

“Answer my questions and you will get out of here faster. Okay?”

“O . . . okay.”

“What do you know?”

“I . . . I don’t k . . . know much,” I began to stutter my words, “I . . . I woke up here with no mem . . . memories.”

“Don’t believe you. You know something.”

“Woods. I got mind picture of the woods. And a boy.”

“Good. What else?”

“Th . . . there was crying and yelling.”

“Good.”

“I swear that’s all I know.”

“Tell me more.”

“I . . . I don’t know,” I started to fade between conscious.

“Nurse wake him up,” I faintly hear him yell.

She continued waking me up for the rest of the hour I was in here. This man kept questioning me on what I know but there is barely anything in my mind. I faded out again but the nurse was not waking me. I could faintly make out what they were saying.

“Wake him up,” he demanded.

“Sir, you’re going to kill him. His temperature is below normal. It’s at ninety-five degrees. He is going to die if you continue. And we don’t want to have another problem on our hands.”

“His family left him here to fix him make him better. To make him pay for what he has done. They were going to kill him in the first place. But fine. Guards take him back. Follow me. I need to talk to that Charlie boy.”

They untied me and started to drag me back down the set of hallways. My feet and legs are trailing behind me. My vision is blurred. And I still am fading in and out of consciences. I could feel myself shaking and my teeth chattering. It is so cold. The two men literally threw me into my room making me land very hard into the metal post of Charlie’s bed. I laid there in a ball still not exactly conscious and still shaking from the cold.