So,

my body,

she wants to be shown off

with all

the

stomach tires

the darkened scars…

She screams

for attention

to be put in a crop top

and

hot pants

to show off

all this belly fat

My body

longs

to be touched

sensually

in all her places

I have chosen to hide..

To be touched

with lips

and tongue

in the delicate places

to be awakened.

My body

wants

fire

ingnited by your gaze

inflamed

by your hands

awakened by

your

desire

hunger

and lust

to awaken

her sleeping parts.

My clitoris

wants

to throb

from pleasure

ignited by

your

hands

tongue

words

my your

every fibre

My nipples

long

to harden

erect stiff

just

from thinking

of you.

My body wants ecstasy

Dear Mama

I know

I know that you love me

I know.

I know you wished the best for me

You thought and knew I would rule this world

You called me fierce, brave and bold

You told me

How intelligent I was

How through my innovative and creative ideas

I would change the world

I sure hope you are not disappointed

Dear mama

Am afraid I didn’t turn out as great

I have not changed in the way you would want

any way

If any thing

The world has changed me

Mama, I am ashamed of showing my face

Mama, am scared

Am afraid

Am lost

Dear Mama

You said I was intelligent

Then why am I so foolish

So foolish to

Give my heart to that boy no, those boy

Can’t count how many more heart breaks I can endure

With each heartbreak sending me deeper in the abyss

Of drugs and alcohol

My friends think am self-destructive

Mama all I seek is to be loved and desired.

Dear Mama

I am no longer that sweet little girl

The one that used to curl up your laps

With sparkling eyes

Feeding off your musical voice as you told her one of your stories

Whose only worry was you getting mad

And denying her candy

Mama,

This daughter of yours

Even I cannot recognize her

Mama your little girl is gone

Her new worries

Her new worries are

….

She might get rejected because she covered up her body

That if she denied John or Sam or Dan or…

A piece of her

She might not be recognized

Yet all she longs is to be noticed

Mama,

Am sorry

You told me to be wary of men

You forgot to tell me how canning they are

I am trapped in my own web

Mama

All I wish for is to have candy

Dear mama,

You told me to respect everyone

You forgot to tell me how hard it is

Especially if you are being sneered and bullied

Mama

Yesterday I lost my way

when I slept with grandpa

well, not my grandpa

but he too was fossil

Mama

I can’t come to see you this holiday

Am afraid you will see though me

For am no longer whole

Am filled with holes

Caused by bullets shot at me down this journey

Mama

It’s not that I don’t love you

It’s just that I have changed

And am afraid you shall be disappointed

Dear Mama

I am lost

I went for an interview

I saw my chance to finally be the girl you said I would be

I was given the job

Just after I spread my legs for the brute

Now I feel tainted and worthless

The job no longer means a thing to me anymore

Mama I don’t think I can change the world any longer

Mama,

Am sorry….