I stood on the bridge and waited for you,

enjoying the Summer night. I was new.

As open as the cloudless sky was I.

My secrets had been laid bare at your feet.

Every detail, every nuance exposed.

Life was as beautiful as this skyline's

sparkling reflection on the river.

Sharing soul-to-soul is liberating!

I stand

at

the bank

of

the

river

but

your

love

cannot

swim

from

forever

I sit

at

the edge

of

the

canyon

but

your

love

has

no

bridge

which

to

pass

on

I lie

on

the shore

of

the

ocean

but

your

love

lies

beyond

the

horizon

I fly

’cross

the blue

sky

expanse

but

your

love

lives

farther,

ever-last

I sail

to

the end

of

the

seas

but

your

love’s

past

infinity

I stand

with

the earth

’neath

my

feet

but

your

love

soars

beyond,

heavenly

I stood on the bridge and waited

Although I didn´t know

what I was waiting for

Could it be I was waiting

for my courage to resurface

so that I could

jump

Or was I waiting

for my fears to subside

so that I wouldn´t think

about the concrete waters below

Although, truly,

I stood on the bridge and waited

because I wanted someone to stop me

to tell me not to jump

to hold me in their warm embrace

and tell me they loved me

I wanted someone to save me

I was waiting for someone to save me

but no one came

Here I am.

Despite so many fears, after so many years I am

Throwing it all away.

Who are you all to say

What I don't and do all day?

You want me to slave away

For pay

While I pray

The void inside subsides until one day

It all eventually goes away?

Instead, it grew and it grew.

And I knew—I just knew,

That it would come down to this.

It's impossible to fix.

So that does it.

I quit.

I don't know where I'm headed,

But I know that the dread that's embedded

Deep

As soon as I awaken from sleep

On a Monday

Has been replaced without chains! I'm not waiting for Someday.

Someday will take your dreams to the grave.

Chin up. Be brave.

You've got this.

The whole world is your office.

Anything you want, just

Reach out and make it

And take it

And mold it

And grow it

And go with

The path as YOU chose it.

The bumps along the way

Trump months, or even years, of long decay.

Resolve to dissolve the gap in

Value and worth you feel wrapped in.

What's the worst that can happen?

Own the unknown over a dead-end job you feel trapped in.

Headlines.

A 20 year old girl kidnapped

Will she be saved or raped?

New day, new headlines

Family of four in an accident

Will the remaining two overcome the loss?

New day, new headlines

Young guy shot in head

Forever stuck in coma or just a matter of time?

And the list goes on

As the archived ghosts pile up,

Unbeknownst terrors.

What happened to the girl? Did they save her? Did they rape her? What about the family? How are they surviving? Is she okay? Where is she? Do they have resources? The coma guy, please don’t let him be dead? Do they have the energy to pull through? Did he make it? Is he traumatised? Does he remember anything? Is she traumatised?

And so you turn to the news

To find answers

Of questions unasked

Of stories incomplete

But there it is:

New day, new headlines.

Trying to take it all in,

hurts sometimes.

The divisiveness,

the disparity,

the hate,

anger,

suffering,

outside my door

overwhelms me.

Violence which rips

your heart out,

sickens me.

I want to turn away.

It is too much.

I doubt we can endure.

But then,

I feel a softer, smaller

hand cover mine.

“It is going to be fine,”

he tells me

in a tone mature

beyond his ten years.

The compassion in his eyes

gives credence to his words.

The world is a better place

Because my hope

lives in it.

I recently watched a Ted Talk given by a lady whose life work revolved around death. Naturally, she embraced some dark humour whilst delving into the nitty gritty 'spectacle' we so often avoid talking about in our society; I think because it's taboo.

Let's just say when she was meeting new people at parties and so on, they didn't want to hang around her after she honestly answered their question re her chosen career! I can't remember EXACTLY what this woman's role was, but it appeared she was quite involved in the palliative care stages of life. What I enjoyed most about hearing her talk, was the spiritual beliefs & stories she expressed with clarity and sincerity... Tales of other people's passing's that push beyond the veil, instilling hope and comfort in mostly the grieving. "The human soul provided it is pure and strong enough, can contact the unseen in waking life as well as in dreams; all that is required is withdrawal of the soul from the tumult of sensory life." ~ Nasr. What made her particular vocation different, was that she actually 'guided' the families of the dying through the stages of ascension. Pretty profound mission, if you ask me. An absolute gift to be able to help relieve some of the fear and uneasiness that often surrounds 'death.' Not only does she encourage the dying to share their visions, but by doing so, she opens up a new dimension of consciousness for the living to explore and embrace!

"Great loss calls for deep faith." ~ Lisa Bree Hoggarth. I'm sure some of you readers' have either heard of (or had) a mystical experience of your own. Perhaps a friend or relative that passed came to visit you in a dream to assure you all was well, or who knows - perhaps you're aware of an ongoing relationship with the 'dead', where they're now actually a spirit guide for you. The point is, there are so many ways in which the 'dead' help the living. And as my wise seventy year old friend Frida says: "It's the living we need to be afraid of. The dead protect us." Since losing my Mother over four years ago, and more recently a treasured friend, I've spent a considerable amount of time researching, reading, watching and believing in re incarnation, life after life, miraculous healings, and the continuation of consciousness. I've also gratefully experienced visitation dreams. (And visions).

Below I share with you an excerpt from an article, (link to full article attached) that brought a smile to my face, and remember, "you know the truth by the way it feels." ~ Unknown. Thank you for reading x

:

"It was almost fifteen years ago that I was sitting at the bedside of my teacher Elisabeth Kubler Ross, when she turned to me and asked, 'what do you think about the deceased visiting those on their death beds to greet them?'"

I replied quickly, showing my knowledge back to her: "You're speaking of deathbed visions, most likely caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain or a side effect of morphine."

She looked at me and sighed, "it will come with maturity."

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/18/o.end.of.life/index.html

Love, light & blessings, Lisa x ~~~ writeroftheuniverse.wordpress.com

"Blessed are the old souls, for whom the earth has longed." ~April Peerless. ~~~

P.S. If opening and reading the above article isn't resonating, this YouTube clip below featuring Oprah & Dr. Weiss is only four minutes, and pure gold. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GUfjZzm2FFE

There comes a day where childish innocence succumbs to the pressures of adulthood. Where dreams become foolish and differences are taboo. To survive this cruel transition, one must make determinations of self. Career alignment assessments, personality tests, and other evaluations can facilitate this self-discovery. Yet, youth is unsupported in discovering one great unknown: Am I beautiful?

To determine one’s own beauty, it must first be decided what beauty is. In a generic definition, beauty is the presence of an aesthetically pleasing quality. Beauty, no doubt, is a positive trait to most. Beautiful people seem to be cherished and complimented. Is it not expected for curious youth to, therefore, compare themselves to those they are told are attractive? Should a young person look to others, they are then faced with several more unknowns.

Money and beauty are entangled in a peculiar affair. Historically, many cultures espoused a belief that blood should be kept “pure” and bred incestuously for this conviction; deformities became common among these aristocrats. By popular opinion, deformities do not increase one’s likelihood of being beautiful. Despite this, there are accounts of the aesthetically pleasing qualities of the rich of the past. Forward to the modern day, it seems more wealthy individuals are considered beautiful. Enter an unknown: Can beauty be bought? The wealthy can afford finer clothes, hair care, wigs, makeup, plastic surgery, and other enhancers. Has an admiration of the rich transformed the concept of beauty to that of which is only attainable at great price?

This great price may extend beyond money and to effort itself. One quickly learns pictures show a single version of the truth. Even so, it is difficult for any mind to scrutinize a photo for deception. Applications and programs can drastically alter one’s appearance and skilled artists can use makeup as effectively as a mask. CGI models are arriving in the mainstream, further bringing into question another unknown: Is beauty natural?

Unfazed by the current standard of beauty, some deviate from society’s norms while still receiving praise. They are admired and commended for not only how they look, but how they behave. Here one may realize that those aligning with mainstream beauty have something in common with those mentioned above: Confidence. Shameless, proud, fierce, and bold, they believe themselves to be beautiful. If beauty is to be besieged, they are the conquerers. An unknown presents itself, calling into question if beauty is a state of physicality or a state of mind: Is beauty a decision?

If one looks up from the hoards of same-faced photos altered by technique and technology, something curious can be found. All around, people smile with each other. Elderly couples, well past their aesthetic prime, ignore a poster of a perfect CGI model to gaze into each other’s eyes. Parents lovingly wipe food from their children’s messy faces. Best friends hold each other when tears must escape. Beauty is the presence of an aesthetically pleasing quality. Is it not with great pleasure one see’s a loved one? Some, in time, may come upon an unknown which allows everyone to be beautiful: Am I beautiful because I am loved?

Humanity’s trajectory.

You covet

My opinion on it?

Well then.

Allow Me

to share My thoughts.

Pessimism and cynicism;

both justified

when pondering on the

future.

For every good man,

a dozen evil men

challenge him.

For every good woman,

the same.

Humanity believes

its morality outweighs

its immorality.

Humanity believes

its selflessness overshadows

its selfishness.

I wish

the voluntary veil

over your eyes

does not blind you

from the truth

that skitters

underneath.

For I know

that no anomaly of hope ‒

of love ‒

will send you to

salvation;

spare you

from stumbling down

your sinking path.

Perhaps My judgement

was amiss

when I blessed you with

free will,

since most of you

have wielded it

only

to seize it

from others.

Yet time will continue

trudging forward,

and My pessimism

and cynicism

may yet

be proven

false.

I pray it to be so.

But ‒

I doubt it.

“Are you sure? You don’t seem very sure.”

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

“A few questions, then. How old are you?”

“Twenty-five.”

The young man squinted. “Twenty-five? You don’t look a day under fifty. May I see your identification?” The man took out a small, coin-shaped metal device with a red button on one side and a yellow button on the other.

“I really look that old?” I glanced at his clean white suit and his gold link watch. “Ah, no wonder. You live above us, don’t ya? You one of them highlanders?” The man did not respond. “No wonder you look so young. I thought you knew that everyone down here looked forty years older than we actually were. You’re part of the problem - you get that, right?”

He ignored me and handed me the coin device from under the glass pane. I placed my thumb on the yellow button and pushed. A sharp needle pierced my finger which siphoned a drop of blood into the device. The man took the coin and placed it into behind the counter to analyze my identification.

“It’s the chemicals in the air. That’s why we look so old. You highlanders dump all your waste and trash down here. Most people on the surface don’t even make it to 90 while, at our expense, you all live forever. My dad expired at 51 from lung cancer. My mom was 60. Heart failure. I’m luckier, I’ll expire at the age of 79.” I looked at the highlander. “When do you expire? 500 years from now? 600?”

“Would you like to transfer or sell?” the highlander asked, disregarding my complaints. I looked down at the “sell” section of the conversion rate paper the highlander gave me. One year for 100,000 dollars. My mouth dropped in amazement. In comparison, I made 120 dollars a year, which even I thought was a decent amount of money. Then I glanced under the “purchase” section, which was crossed out by red marks.

“Why can’t I purchase? That’s why I came here.”

“Ah, you didn’t know? You can’t purchase years in lowland machines, and you can’t sell in highland machines.” The man smirked mockingly. “It’s how we control supply. Time flows in one direction: upward.”

“You highland folks are really something else, aren’t you? Just because you live all the way up in the clouds, you think you’re better than us folk down at the surface. You look down on us. You’re all so clean, so well kept, so young! You want to know how my sister died? A brick. One day, when I was playing outside with my sister, some highlander dropped a brick all the way down from the clouds. Bullseye. The brick smashed straight into her skull, 500 miles an hour. I couldn’t hear the punk, but I knew he was laughing from way up there. Cause’ that’s just how you folk are.”

“I’m really sorry for your loss,” the highlander gave an exaggerated frown. “Transfer or sell?”

“Both. Transfer and sell.”

“Transfer rates are 5,000 each year.”

“That’s fine.”

“To whom would you like to transfer?”

“My daughter, Eden.” I looked down at my daughter as I held her hand. She looked up at me, confused about the whole situation.

“How many do you want to extract?”

“All of them.”

“We can’t take all of them - that’d be assisted suicide, obviously illegal. However, we could do your whole life minus a year. And, by your expiratory date, that is...” He did some calculations in his head, looking at a screen. “Fifty-three years.”

“That’s fine.”

“Identification for your daughter, please.” Like before, the highlander handed me the coin under the glass pane. I pushed the yellow side up against Eden’s finger and she gasped with a loud cry. I handed the device back to the man then he analyzed Eden’s identification.

“Her expiratory date is in June? That’s in three months.”

“Yeah. Doctor said surgery wouldn’t work for her disease. Transferring my time to her is her last and only chance.”

A genuine look of sympathy flashed over the highlander’s face, before quickly returning to its usual smug attitude. “Alright, then. Finalize your details on this sheet and we can start the procedure momentarily. Remember to sign.” The man handed me another coin and a paper for my information. Years to be transferred: 25. Years to be sold: 28. With twenty five years to live and two million and a half dollars, she’d be able to pay for a trip up there, to the clouds. I’d rather have her live a short life up there than fifty three years down here. In the bottom right corner of the sheet was a box for my signature. I pressed down hard on the red side of the coin device with my thumb, which coated my finger with just the right amount of blood. I signed my thumbprint in the box and handed everything back.

The clerk brought us to the operating room and laid us on our backs. He wrapped metal shackles around my arms and legs, constraining them to the table.

“For your safety,” He said bluntly. He stuck me and Eden with various metal wires sprawling across the room.

“Shouldn’t we be sedated for this?”

“We’re all out,” he shrugged. “No worries, though. Your daughter won’t feel a thing.” The clerk’s face lit up as if he had came up with a brilliant idea. Smirking down at me, the clerk hastily positioned a mirror directly above me. I looked up at the mirror and I saw my own face staring back at me in terror. Before I could resist, he flicked the machine on. A sharp and constant pain coursed through my body. I tried to scream, but there was no sound. I saw my skin gradually become a rough leather and creases begin to race through my body. My hair grew rapidly, clumping up in one great knot. The giant ball of hair began to whiten and then finally fall off. As I rotted, I looked over to my daughter eyes shut through the comforting hum of the machine. I watched my daughter as my time continued to fade away.

My transformation was finally complete. With much effort, I seated myself up. A sharp pain pierced my abdomen. “As you know,” the clerk informed, “You’re dying of kidney disease. You’ll expire in exactly 365 days.” The man continued. “If you’d like, I can pull up you and your daughter’s new expiratory dates.” He rechecked our identification. I had 53 less years to live and Eden had 25 more.

“And my money?” I asked.

“Subtracting the transfer cost, you receive,” he checked a paper. “2,675,000 dollars for 28 years. We already transferred it into your balance. Check your identification to see it.”

I immediately bought an upgrade for Eden’s elevation score and transferred the rest of the money into her balance. Two million dollars for access all the way up to the clouds. I shook my head in disappointment. I had successfully turned my daughter into the very thing I had loathed for my entire life - I had successfully turned my daughter into a highlander. Was I a hypocrite? Was I wrong to blame them as a group? If my daughter could be a highlander, doesn’t that prove at least some of them may be good? Despite what he had done, I thanked the clerk on my way out. I don’t know why I did it.

The dimly lit street lights were fireflies, flickering and buzzing as I slowly walked down the narrow tunnel of apartments. I looked up at the sky and saw nothing but the eternal darkness. When I was a boy, my father always told me stories about the sky. He told me there used to be a Sun - a giant, bright light in the sky that was so bright it hurt your eyes if you looked at it for too long. He told me the highlanders took the Sun away so they could have it all to themselves. I smiled. I smiled because I knew that the darker it was down here, the brighter the Sun would shine up there. The brighter the Sun would shine on my daughter. I continued on my way to an elevator which would carry my daughter up to the highlands.

I was stopped by a guard upon arrival. “Stop. Let me see some identification.” I took the coin and brought it up to Eden’s finger. “No. Your identification.”

“Only she is going up.”

“Minors need to be accompanied by a legal adult - new rule. Too many kids up there with no parents clogging up their orphanages. The state won’t take kids without parents anymore. You should have came a week ago. Sorry.”

“Fine, I’ll just give it to someone who’s going up.”

The man shook his head. “You really think any highlander gives a damn about her? We hate the highlanders, and the highlanders hate us. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it always will be. A month ago, a woman came to us with the same idea as you. She asked every single highlander that crossed to take her child to an orphanage up there. And they wouldn’t even go out of their way to drop her off. If they’re too occupied to simply bring a child to an orphanage, what makes you think someone’s gonna take your child and feed it? Shelter it? Look, I hate the rule as much as you do, but I have to enforce it.”

“Please,” I begged. “You hate them, right? It’s what you said. We’re on the same side! Just put her in the elevator and send her up. Please!”

“What you just asked me to do is to break a law, punishable by life harvest. And I am not into repeating myself or the idea of having my life sucked away so some foul highlander can buy it from me. Now, I’m tired of talking, so I will have to ask you to either show some identification or get lost.” The guard grabbed his rifle. The other guards stared at me, all gripping their weapons.

I reached into my coat pocket where I brought my pistol. I had nothing to lose, I was going to die in a year, anyway. I clenched my fist around the grip. And there was no way I was dying from kidney failure, that’s for sure. No one was going to stop my daughter from getting up there. Not society, not some new rule, and definitely not a few security guards trying to keep her down here. As fast as my feeble hands allowed, I pulled the pistol out and aimed it directly at the guard’s head. My arms shook. Ten guards stood up and trained their rifles at me. Lasers dotted my forehead.

“Let her through!” I yelled desperately. “Let my daughter through or I’ll shoot you all!”

The guard smiled. “Look old man, I get it. You want your daughter to have the best possible life. We all want our family to have perfect lives, trust me. I sympathize with you. That’s why I’m not having my men here spray bits and pieces of you all the way to the clouds. But, if you don’t drop your gun and place your hands behind your head, I’ll have no choice but to order them to do just that. And with her caretaker dead, I’ll have no choice but to take your daughter, plug her up, and transfer her life to me and my men.”

“Stop,” a voice said from behind. “You lowlanders always have something to fight about, don’t you? It’s honestly tiring. I’m just trying to go home when I see you delinquents waving your guns everywhere like monkeys playing with sticks.” I looked behind. It was the man in the clean white suit and the shiny gold watch. The clerk. He looked at me and said, “I’ll take care of your daughter.”

“Get out of the way, boy! You’re in the middle of crossfire!” The security guard yelled at the clerk.

“No,” The clerk walked up to me, put my gun back in my pocket and grabbed the stroller. “You get out of my way. I’m going up to the highlands, and you’re blocking the path to the elevator. Now check me and this girl’s identification, or I’ll have your ID number for wasting my valuable time. Then, the state will find you and make you look like this old man over here.” He nodded towards me.

The guard reluctantly checked their identifications and opened the door to the elevator. The clerk nodded towards me in approval as the elevator closed and ascended into the void. The guards trained their weapons on me once again, but they were nothing but blurs. Their shouts and orders became muffled as if they were screaming underwater. As I stared above at the elevator, I could only focus on one thing. I thought about Eden’s new life with the Sun and clean air. Her new life without dim street lamps and without falling bricks. With her new opportunities, she could attain success - something impossible to achieve in this world. I thought about my parents who told me that the only thing they wanted was for me to be happy. They had accomplished their goal, and I had fulfilled my purpose. Looking up at the elevator as it rose above the clouds, I pulled the gun out of my pocket, placed the barrel to my head, closed my eyes, and pulled the trigger.