I run on fey excuse

Unample juice

To take me

To the rushing morn

I lie awake

And try to count-

But fear the sheep

That guard my sleep

They cannot jump

They cannot run

I capture one

To peel its fleece

Instead of lamb

I find a leech

And on my dreams

It makes foul feast

My tale of woe

Told to its end

The Sheep of Sleep

Are not my friends...

"I just want to write something they'll remember."

"Well, maybe that's not in your cards, Judith." 

The silence between them was big and awkward. There was something heavy and dark about it too. This wasn't going to be one of those fights you came back from. 

"Nice to see you've rolled out the red carpet of support for me." 

"It's not about support, Judith. It's time to start getting real about this." 

"I am being real about this. What's not real about this to you, Mike?" 

His face was a sour color. It purpled on the edges and his lips were rolled up into the old familiar scowl. That thick hood of skin hung down low these days, and concealed the lurking shadows in his eyes. His jaw bulged beneath his skin as he ground his teeth together. 

"We can't keep this up anymore, Judith. Time is up. You've got to move on." 

"Move on? Move on? How can you say that to me. After everything I've put into this. You're the one that pushed me to do this." 

There it was. Blame. The game had begun. 

"Judith, just be realistic about this for one moment. It's been more than a year. A year. A whole year I've supported you in this. And there's been nothing. No sign of interest, no hint of success." He paused. "Maybe it's time to just see this for what it is...a hobby." 

Judith's insides were boiling up. It was like she could feel the searing heat of his words hit her skin and burn themselves into the surface of them. She was crawling all over with their poison. She would never had started the book if it wasn't for him. Didn't he know how these things worked? She was doing everything she could. It was everything to her. He had pushed her to this, and now they were here and he didn't want it any more. 

"A hobby," she seethed at him. "A hobby? How dare you, Mike. How dare you say that to me." 

Mike reached out towards her, but she shot back from him. 

"Come on now, Judith. Come on. It doesn't need to be this way." 

"You know what, Mike? Get out. Get out of here. Now." She wasn't looking at him anymore. She couldn't. "Just get out of here and leave me alone." 

"Judith, we have to talk about this." He wasn't moving. 

"No, Mike, we don't. There's nothing left to say. Everything that needs to be said has already been said here." 

"Judith we haven't even..." 

"Yes," she interrupted him, "Yes, we have. I can hear, loud and clear, what you're not saying to me, Mike. I hear you. Believe me." 

"Judith," he started. 

"Get! Out!" she screamed suddenly, rounding on him. "Get out and leave me to get this done." 

Mike rose slowly from his chair and made his way towards the shed door. The light was slipping in gently between the soft white curtains that hung across the little inset window. His shape against the light would have been a pretty sight if what was happening between them hadn't been so monstrous. Mike stopped with has hand on the worn brass door knob. 

"I love you, Judith. Still. I want you to know that." 

She was turned back to her work now. She just wanted this scene to be over. Her head was cradled in one hand over the slick black keys of the laptop. The screen reflected in her eyes. It was a nasty thing, this love. Mike was unmoving. He would not leave until he heard her say the words she could not say. 

"I know that, Mike. I know." 

The silence grew awkward again between them. She could feel his eyes on her, but she would not look at him. To look would be to give in, and this was too important to her. This was everything. He couldn't understand it. It was outside him. Finally, he turned and made his way out the door. It clicked gently behind him, and Judith heard the tinkling of the wind chimes on the little shed porch as Mike passed along back towards the dark shape of the house. 

Judith let out a deep breath. 

Heartbreak was no easy sport.