Like literally every human on this planet, being quarantined all day for a month now, I've been feeling bored. So I decided that I was going to google myself. Great idea! Not!

I found a picture or two of myself from an interview at school a few years back, oh just the norms. Then I scroll down more and notice a track and field competition contestants list from 2016. I remember being in that competition with my friends back in grade 6.

I decided to look for their names just for fun. Then I noticed the names of a few people that now attend my highschool. I scrolled down more and more, saw more people's names I knew. Then I see something I wish to unsee. And low and behold, I saw a name that almost made me drop my phone.

So it turns out, 4 years ago, my crush and I were BOTH entered in the SAME in a track and field competition! I just meet him this school year! Only last September! And now this list is telling me that he was THERE in the same place and day as me, 4 years ago, and I only know this now????????

Just a bit of background info, I moved to Canada about 6 years ago, and turns out, so did he. The odds of us both being in that competition were very slim. I needed to write this down or else I would have not been able to sleep.

Hope is what I start with.

I dream, fantasize, imagine, wish.

A bright future ahead with no obstacles in my route.

A genuine smile emerges from within.

What a beautiful feeling to have,

If only it could stay...

It all comes crashing down.

I'm faced with unmet expectations, disappointment, sorrow, distress.

A dark present arrives with a cracked road to walk on.

My smile vanishes into thin air.

I fail to realize my limitations.

If only I could go back...

In my dreams,

I can be whoever I aspire.

I can do whatever I desire.

I can look like a goddess.

I can be the best version of me.

Happiness. Success. Beauty. Perfection.

Then hits reality.

I am insignificant.

I am limited by social standards.

I am what they call average.

I am not who I wish to be...