Afterlife
My body was screaming.
What had I done?
Then I felt
warm
numb
sleepy.
The pain was gone.
I was gone.
In complete and total darkness.
I had known darkness, but this, this was real darkness, swallowing my entire being.
There I was for what felt like ages, in the dark womb. It smelled of dirt. Blood.
A light flickered somewhere off into the distant unknown. It was out as suddenly as it appeared. Then back again, becoming brighter and brighter, until it consumed me whole.
But what was me ?
The light filled me with warmth
and so much love. Like my mother's kiss. My father's hug.
I suddenly remembered. I am not my body.
I am the soul that dwells within.
That One Girl
I woke up to the smell of coffee, and I knew there was someone else in the house. The pillow beside me was crushed and matted with use, the sheets tangled. Oh shit, I thought. I sat up in bed; there was a pile of clothes on the floor either side - mine, on my side, and a stranger's, a female stranger's, on the other. I clamped my eyes shut and dug the heels of my palms into them. What the fuck. Again?
I swung my legs out of bed and opened the drawer of my bedside table. There was still an unopened box of condoms in it. Unopened. Shit, again. I stood and groaned; my head throbbed, my mouth tasted like a garbage dump had puked diarrhea into it. The smell of coffee coming from the kitchen was making my stomach roll over.
Stepping into a pair of sweats, I went into the bathroom and surveyed myself. No black eyes, no split lips. Just an all-American fuck machine. Shit, again. Who was that making coffee? Who's clothes were those? I left the bathroom after a thorough tooth-brushing and bent over the pile of women's clothes.
The panties were pink, the bra was pink, the jeans were dark blue, the top was peach. There as no purse; she probably took it with her into the kitchen. No overprotective mother had stitched this girl's name into her panties. I had nothing. No recollection of this person. Face the music, I told myself.
Opening the bedroom door, I went down the hall to the kitchen. She stood with her back to me, wearing only an old pair of my boxers she must have found in a drawer. Sure enough, her purse was on the counter; next to it was her phone. She didn't hear me come in, so I stood watching her. She was drinking from a mug, she was tall and slim, nice legs. Olive skinned. Black hair. Who the fuck was this girl?
I cleared my throat and stepped forward; she turned, smiling. "Good morning," she said, chipper as a flight attendant. Drawing a blank. She was pretty, green eyes, small lips, small tits. "Morning," I managed. Her teeth were very straight, very white. She might be my dental hygienist, I thought.
"How you feeling this morning?" she asked.
"Bit of a headache," I answered. She laughed.
"I'm not surprised. You really put it away last night," she patted my arm. "Not that it affected your performance any. Wow, is all I can say. That's what I texted my friend when I got up, is that tacky or what?"
I granted it was, but didn't elaborate much. I accepted a cup of coffee from her, her fingers sliding along mine as she passed the mug. She glanced up at microwave clock.
"Shit," she barked. "I've got to get going. I'm showing a house this morning."
"You're a real estate agent?" I ventured. She looked at me puzzled and laughed.
"You really did get shitfaced, didn't you? We talked about real estate for an hour last night."
This was news to me, as I know nothing about real estate, but I am a good faker, especially if there is some ass to be had out of it. But really, I had no memory of this woman, or last night. The idea that I bullshitted about real estate with her, while drunk, for an hour, was utterly bizarre.
She downed her mug, raced back to the bedroom - with her purse and phone - and I heard water running. She emerged ten minutes later in the clothes that had been piled on the floor.
"That was an amazing night. Just what I needed," she cooed, coming close for a kiss. I gave her one; no memories jogged.
"We should do it again then," I ventured. She was hot, certainly, and I had apparently made a good impression.
She lit up like an all-night pharmacy sign. "Yes! I was hoping you'd say that!" She pulled her phone from her back pocket.
"What's your number?" I told her.
Then she smiled like she'd just farted in church and gave me a little nervous giggle.
"Um. What was your name again?" she asked.
Let Me Free
One. I was never here.
Two. Why am I still here?
Three. Does nobody care.
Four. Where am I?
Five. Who am I?
Six. Let me free.
Seven. Why am I trapped here?
Eight. I want to go.
Nine. Why am I like this?
Ten. Why am I treated like this?
Eleven. You are nothing to me.
Twelve. When will I find someone?
Thirteen. Someday someone will find me.
Fourteen. I need to find myself.
Fifteen. I need to be free.
Sixteen. Away from you.
Seventeen. Let me go.
Here.
I walk to the desk with my head held high. I can go anywhere, to any time.
Where on earth should I go?
People dressed in high colours surround me. There's two people in front of me. I have time to think before I have to choose.
I can hear the elderly lady as she speaks to the receptionist.
"I'd like to book my travel now. To 1985. Chuntill avenue Park. I'd like my time to begin at 3pm. My husband will be there."
She goes on to recall beautiful memories of her deceased husband. It's fascinating. It's lovely.
The next lady only says her first sentence when my mind is made up.
"I'd like to go to my future wedding. The best day of my life..."
These people are looking for happiness. They're travelling to their happy place.
It's helped.
I know where I'm going.
I pull my bag tighter to my shoulder. And then I smile.
Turn around,
And go home.
Where my children will be being noisy and making a mess. My husband will be in the garage tinkering with his car and getting oil everywhere.
I'm going to my happy place.
Attack of the Zombie Squirrels
Walking through the forest, up ahead I hear a sound-
Acorns fall before me, dropping gently to the ground.
Seeing squirrels run wildly, "Oh, how cute," runs through my mind ...
Suddenly I'm ambushed; oh my God, I'm going blind!
Seven of the rodents crawl around my back and bite.
One went for my eyes, and now I'm running without sight.
Last thing in my vision- zombie squirrels with rabid maws.
Now they've over taken me; I'm wrapped up in their jaws!
Lying, dying, bleeding, they relentlessly ensue ...
Pain enraptures fur and rotted flesh and I am through.
Worry sinks within me as my kids are just behind.
Life relieves its duties and I lose my state of mind.
Death has come to hold me as its bitterness unfurls.
Never saw it coming: fed upon by zombie squirrels!
Clown Royal
She's a jester,
she's a clown
She's quite worthy
of the crown
Ideal sidekick,
sexy joke
Giggles and wiggles so
she
won't
choke
Effervescent ghostly squeal
Center stage,
no need to steal
Silly assumptions
based on fluff
Her own conclusions
were more than enough
Queen as innocent
as
her
King
Little clown thought
a play she'd bring
Mistress was
misunderstood
Master may be
gone
for
good
Laughing while she
sheds a tear
Gracefully bows to
the joker dear.
One In The Same
We even forgot our own name....laying wounded on a cold concrete slab, silently listening to this guy who seemed quite mad. Back and forth pacing across our head, headache pounding, sounds roaring from an unknown dead.
Words burning as they are seared into our brain, then escaping the same way that they came. Years of wondering toward a place we do not know, nor do we know it now, where will we be in the tomorrow of the subsequent years, when we are no longer able to remember what direction we were going, or the place that got us here.
Our eyes grow weary as the flow of blood, feeling like liquid heat, trickles down dripping in one direction to form a pool beneath our feet. Weak and beaten down, slowly turning his way, the stranger that was with us had grown older then his days.
Reaching toward his hand, only seeing our own, the flesh upon our skin had vanished into bone. Before this time has gone, when our death is soon to come, no longer seeing our companion, he was nowhere, he was gone.
Wanting to find out if we were one in the same, not remembering the face, confused, no longer knowing where we were, we even forgot our own name.