I’ll find happiness with this pain clustered inside

Asking why?

I’ll laugh again with no tears like an endless baby’s cry

Not asking me to stop...but please can I still let them free?

Am ready for this new chapter to begin

It will take some time seen...

The door has already been closed on the old path of unknown words of speechless silence

Even asking yourself “ What the hell was I doing”? Paused in that movement with that thought of just living day by day

Is there a right and a wrong?

Is there stop and go?

Is there Prince Charming and a Glass Rose?

Is there so many and not so much at all?

Is there hope to hold on to?

When your body is so emotional exhausted

With your head ready to explode of over thinking

Trying to figure out life’s great adventures of the good or of the bad

I am a strong women with a sensitive heart

I am a loud voice with smiles of laughter

I’ll find my happiness because I love me that looks beyond challenges

Even on a those rainy days or the melting heat of the summers sunset

Let the wind blow in my hair

Let the cold breeze give me Goose’s from my head to my toes

Lets wake up to start a new step of that path

A new adventure of happiness

I am your wall

A slam of that door

There is your love there but it is just the dust off that shelf case like a strangers look of a hand shake

There’s no “love you, hope your day goes well” Nor cuddling of a goodnight of warmth before my eyes follow that moons darkness of dreams isn’t of nightmares

Happiness is more with your friends then me

Even sometimes a day goes by of no words or a call

Even stories of nothing happened but someone tells you instead

Is there to much to ask from each other?

Am sorry am a person that has a hard time remember things

Am sorry I have trouble understanding the Conversation that has been talked about

Am sorry am loud and my silliness is annoying

Am sorry I look beyond life of no planning!

Then why is the word called surprised even if it don’t work

Cant we all still see it in each other’s eyes

Its the thought that counts right!

Is it bad to ask for memories of a photo to frame

Instead of a blank Canvas of hoping

Please, don’t fake a smile with me

If so, then why do you love me!

Isn’t true love hard to find

Even after all these years shouldn’t there always be happiness in good and bad

I am your friend too so give me laughter of happiness

I am your shoulder to cry on that rainy day

You want a family but how can I

When you are lost in your own world

You need to find your happiness even with me again

Not words of one, two silence!

Not Even a touch of a silk blanket you thought brushed your naked skin

But...even if you read which is doubtful

This wouldn’t matter

Even if I told you these feelings

I’d get some bull-shit answers of am stupid or am crazy

That’s why am your wall

Not a Friend, someone special even Wife

I’ll still be ok

I’ll Find happiness someway

Even if you shut me out of finding your happiness

Slow motion is like a old Black and White movie

Silence is like duck tape ripping it off of your face of whispering

Being lost is like losing everything even the last heart beat to your sight of beauty

If your cross the bridge will you make it?

If we get to wake up to a new day shouldn’t we be grateful and blessed?

If I reach my hand out will you grab it?

If I say “ I Love You” does that mean anything inside your emotional soul of emptiness ...wondering will you feel it?

Nightmares are like ripping the flesh off your body

Dreams are the angels sending you love no matter if it’s from above or down here

Happiness is hard to find

Pain is like bleeding blood of tears

No ones is never alone in darkness of fears

Someone is always standing right here with arms of love and protection

In our life’s of unknown paths we get to step in no knowledge of but...

Knowing the adventures are waiting for a new beginning

The thunderstorms will strike

The suns warmth will heal the scars

Giving up will Hunt you of spiders and cobwebs

Courage is everyone’s warrior

Love is never the last rose petal falling

Like a wish that can come true

No one can step on your crack of happiness

No one can change your feeling of sadness

Everyone has different ways of emotions of letting go but please remember.....don’t nor try to put a wall that makes you go into a box that takes you down into darkness of losing yourself!

It got me...am trying to find my goofy, smiling, outgoing of craziness of Erica personality again!

Like a slow motion picture of a black and white photo in that frame

Plus that love story of hope knowing am not alone

Let’s finish the puzzle with another one to begin

Of no questions but letting life take its path of happiness

Your years of Pain are Free

From the day you were born of being club feet

Then your toe had to be taken off, then half your foot on the same leg hoping you fought that demon

Then the news got worse

From the same leg it had too get amputated to your knee with some blockage

Then with more problems unfolding like a mystery clue

With your blood veins that got thinner like a piece of paper

You had to have a pacemaker in to help your heart beat its strength of life

We thought the demons was done but to a fools eye pot of gold

You had to get the other leg amputated feeling like you were hopeless but you had love always near

On May-27-2019 at 10:14am come you said goodbye

You passed away with no two legs, a infection

throughout your body and blockage in your Artery to your heart of a big blockage just like your love you shared with us

You closed your eyes of peace after the kiss of your wife

You knew that time has come of leaving the ones you love dearly

Laying there with still crack of a little smile on your face

With us around you holding that tissue in our hands wiping the sad tears of love we hold for your strong, brave plus handsome of soul you were

You were a angels heart of a son to a beautiful Mother Thera Booms that you will have her wings

You were a locket heart necklace to a beautiful wife Carrie Booms that will always hold the key

You were a solider of protection of a father to your son Riley Booms to help him when he needs a help down a nightmare he feels he can’t do it alone

You were the best Father-in-Law to me that has a piece of my heart knowing over the years our relationship got close that you called me your own daughter and you are my Dad

You were a great family’s love to many that hold you close to their hearts of memories of stories

You were a great friend to a billion even if they just meant you once seen your spirt was one that won’t be forgotten

You went a lot sooner then we thought

Thinking the words “He past”!

Wasn’t the news of words we wanted to hear

With our hearts dropping

Not knowing how time stops until that moment

You enjoyed playing softball until the sun went down wiping the sweat off your forehead with your hands

You loved cherry creek smelling like camp fire looking at the stars above even swatting those dam flies

Even though you got frustrated at darts you still didn’t let it beat you to the ground

You loved your doggy paws

You loved your deer hunting with your friends that talk about both at all of bullshit

You loved your soccer telling them how to play seen you were a goal keeper which always put a smile on my face of head shaking of fun

So, Dear Twigs Thank You for the love of memories we will talk about for years

You beat a lot of the challenges that came your way of the journey

There is never a day that goes by that tears won’t stop for you from us down here

We never know when our goodbyes are going to end in this world

Don’t hide yourself from living life to the fullest

Don’t think you can’t do anything that passes your way

Don’t forget to tell your loved ones you love them

If the choose not to talk to you still send love in your heart of hoping someday they will felt it’s warmth

Brick and stones don’t break your mothers back

Humpty Dumpty got back on that wall

1,2,3 you can pick up those sticks

“Tom Booms (Twigs) is watching over his loved ones down here giving signs that he isn’t in pain no more

Instead sending love with his angel wings making sure we are doing ok feeling our pain of losing him of tears.”

R.I.P Dad until I can give you a huge of telling you how much I’ve missed you

Plus, to everyone’s turn of a huge for you when your time is to say goodbye

People don’t understand why hiking is getting away from reality!

Why the sound of the river calms your mind of emptiness of no worry

Why we take a deep breath in of releasing

Of nature filling your lungs of a clear dream

We take each step of throwing away stress

When you have to go back to a fresh start of madness of reality to some

We laugh of memories knowing there is no judgement but happiness of not knowing

We walk a dirt path or Even any of path with no fear but excitement not knowing what the sight we see turning that mountain corner

Even with that cut of the eye of peek-a-booing you can’t wait to see

Hiking is getting away from reality that is peaceful & beyond what your sight can explain

The world has a lot to show

Places to amaze your soul

That we can’t explain but of “wow how beautiful”!

Please, take me away Mountains, Desert, a place of excitement to those who dare take a step of adventure with me

To those people who don’t understand why hiking is getting away from reality

I can’t help you to explain the sight of beauty!

It’s waiting for me every Thursday even ever chance I grab

Am not going to stop for no one until the day I say goodbye

Hiking is beyond your body of no limits

You can choose the path of your own

But..am choosing life full of adventure that’s why hiking is getting away from reality for me plus beyond what is waiting for me

What is time to yourself

When people double guess you

Then call you like you are missing

But you tell them you are just chillin doing the to do list! I just want me, myself and I of peace that feels right to myself

But you are a lying son of a bitch in there eyes of hatful words

In this world of silence i choose of imagination where I can be my wired self of no judgement of insanity

What do you want from me?

How can I help you?

I can give you my tears of crying without no one telling me to stop in my time of peace

I can stop being myself seen that will make the happiest of you

What is time to yourself?

It’s nothing but yelling of double guessing

It’s like a explosion of understanding

It’s tears when you can let them go without no one calling you a cry baby

I’ve been having a lot going on these last couple months & it’s bringing my down

Just let me be myself

Let me hear nothing but silence

Let me have time to myself

With you understanding of no doubting or getting mad

Is that such a bad thing

What do we except from each step you take to every morning we wipe our sleepy eyes of a new beginning of rest?

Is like a quick cup of espresso

Double shot please!

Even I time clock ticking in your vest pocket

With the white rabbit yelling by your side “We Must Not Be Late”!

Take time and breath of being alive

Fight that DEPRESSION tell it who’s BETTER

Fight the sickness talk to a SURVIVOR that was giving up HOPE

Be THANKFUL you get to wipe those sleepy eyes of a NEW DAY

My days have GOTTON the best of me these pass couple of weeks

Love of FAMILY that have fallen apart but I’ll still hold them in my HEART there’s the TRUTH

Crying myself to SLEEP hoping it’s not going to be a NIGHTMARES of being lost with trying to understanding these HATEFUL words

Losing myself of the Silly weirdness of my own PERSONALITY that I love

Seen BEING you is the best THERAPY that can heal your soul of an angels broken WOUNDS

But am NOT letting it bring me to the GROUND and bury me AGAIN....

Let the SUN shine it’s WARMTH on our skin

Let the ROESE blossom of LOVE & CARING

Let’s DANCE under that moon LIGHT of MEMORIES

Let’s take ADVENTURES until our LAUGHS hurt our stomachs

Let the day BEGIN & END with a SMILE on your face letting it make everyone JEALOUS

Even if it’s a BAD day or GOOD day FRIENDSHIP is always the BEST

Just like FAMILY & LIFE

Now what do we except each DAY we wake up with THOSE sleepy EYES?

To everything a LIFE can bring to make you SMILE

I am not your usually normal person

I look beyond the stars to make wishes for others in need of happiness

I look beyond the brick path because there is so much more adventures waiting for new words to the story

I love waking up knowing i get to breath feeling my heart getting stronger each day of life’s dream

You can tell it to my face

“That i think life is all on the right path of seeing beyond my eyes of living”

Telling me to “ Stop, why am I always happy”

No one can pull me down in the darkness of hell again

Am not saying I don’t understand your pain

Trust me I’ve been in there also even if it wasn’t the same situation as yours

Yes, there is days I don’t understand

Yes, there is feeling of no hope eyes of confusion

Also there are nightmares of spinning round and round not being appeal to stop but.....

When you do!

Laugh until your stomach hurts

Give a good Hello to a stranger of Hows your day?

Be thankful that you have family full of love

Friendships that last seen Elementary school

Be happy we are all not the same

Only you can find happiness

Don’t judge those that live life to its fullest

Am wired plus goofy

Happy plus have my bad days of rain

Am adventures plus scared of the dark

Sometimes I don’t make sense

Sometimes I take awhile to understand what it means

I do know I love my personality

I do love to smile plus look beyond life

It’s the greatest feeling knowing you love being yourself that it makes you laugh alone

Cheers to everything and anything

I want to see nothing but darkness

I want to feel the heat from the candles fire

I want to feel nothing but being wrapped up in silk from The lips to the unknown

Hearing nothing but my heart beating of lust of thrust

Letting the body fall on the rose petals

With our breathing going faster and....faster

Sharing that glass of red wine that is dripping from each others mouths

With our body’s pulling each other in deeper and deeper

Until...the last breath of minds of a blackout

I wanted to dance on that dance floor

I wanted the rhythm to take over my body

Please, don’t be a dream

Turn on the lights

Let’s do a shot and go round two

I want to see nothing but darkness again

Brrrr...

It’s getting cold outside

The air is a breeze of chilliness

The trees covered in frost

You are snuggled next to that fireplace

With that cup of hot coco with marshmallows full of happiness

With the sight you see

It’s like a winter wonderland outside your window

With that snowman wearing his TOP hat, buttons and that carrot nose

Snow angels that the children made during that laughter of a snowball fight

Letting the smell of pine feel your house of love

Letting the music sing of smiles of corals

Feeling the warmth of what this holiday is all about

Family, Love, Friends and the spirt if giving and being thankful for moments of presents you hold in your heart, yourself and your angel soul

Put up the lights let them send out the cheer

Dress up that Christmas tree

Put the stockings on the chimney

Just remember you are not alone for the Holiday

You always have arms of love surrounding your heart