Things usually bend before they break. They warn you of their failure with hairline cracks and fractures. But if you live with your demons long enough things get brittle. And when the fall happens, it happens all at once.

I’m back in town in late October, the season in Chicago when it’s not so cold yet the air slices your skin like a driven nail, but cold enough that steam billows from the subway vents making the whole city feel foggy, and the sky turns that mournful shade of withering gray. I walk the broad streets and breathe in the smells of diesel and popcorn. I want to say I miss them, but my lungs feel like they’re full of ash. A shadow passes above.

I tell myself it’s a plane because that’s what I always do, and if I don’t look up I can believe that’s true.

I call up my old college buddy Nigel to see if he can meet for beers and wings like we did in the old days. I told my girlfriend I was here on a business trip, but really I just needed to get away from… well, you know… or maybe you don’t. But I was fleeing all the same.

Nigel and I used to haunt the bars of Lakeview, but I guess we’ve grown up since then. He wants to meet at a more upscale pizza place downtown. I walk there past dark alleys and see them out of the corner of my eye, the lethal shadows hiding behind dumpsters and peeking out from around corners, dripping with ichor, and their faces full of hate. I turn up the collar on my jacket against the lake shore wind.

I settle into the booth across from Nigel and exchange the usual pleasantries. I absentmindedly tear off a piece of pizza while he catches me up on his work at the museum where they’ve received a new collection of precious stones from… well, I don’t catch that part. I’m only half listening as I gaze between the window blinds at the darkening sky, and I think I see the beating of huge wings in the haze above. I shake off the vision. Now isn’t the time. I take a sip of my beer but it’s flat and acrid.

Nigel carries on. He’s always been the life of the party. We met back in college when he would drag me to parties with inflatable pools, kegs, and pretty girls. He would dance and make friends and get phone numbers, but I never quite fit in. I just felt like people were always staring at me. Maybe I was wrong, I’m an anxious man. But they’re staring at me now.

I snap to and look out over the restaurant and everyone is looking at me, like a butcher looks at meat. I hear the rhythmic pounding of the dragon’s wings. I feel the shadows creep from the alleys, all swaddled in knives and rage.

Nigel talks about his trip to Maui and his fling with a Korean expat. He orders a margarita and I feel a pain in my gut and double over, coughing up blood on the seat of the booth. The clouds close in like smoke in a burning house. I look up and see Nigel sip his drink as the crowd cheers against the Marlins. I start to feel myself slip but I don’t call out to him. We were never that close.

Man now I know you’ll hate me, you always do. Starting hot, just like its pposed tooo, --but we fizzle, fight,fuck, freak out over every little thing like we shouldn't do.

Killin brain cells every afternoon watching youtube.

Do a little weed, mix a little speed. Hoping that we find strength in the middle of a boring conversation at a new restaurant.

Every, afternoon when we cant get it up, cant get down with each other cuz we too busy hounding each other over, every little thing like we, shouldn't, do. Man I'm sick of you. What's the point. What's the point? What's the point? What's the point?

Now I'm looking away.

A far off distant space.

Doesn't seem so bad.

Doesn't sound so bad, now.

Does it?

Ahh So that's it, the ending you told em all about, but not me. Not until it was 12 degrees. Leaving me on my knees. Begging please. Shiiit I was pathetic, but that shit only makes you stronger. I couldn't do it any longer, livin for two that way. I thought it was the only way. Now looking back I see that it's what's made a man of me.

Now I'm looking away.

A far off distant space

Doesn't feel so bad.

Doesn't hurt so bad anymore.

Now I'm looking away.

A far off distant space..you know

Doesn't feel so bad.

Doesn't hurt so bad anymore.

So as I question thee

(What's the point? What's the point?

What's the point? What's the point?)

Inside my head you see,

(What's the point? What's the point?

What's the point? What's the point?)

Get out my head please

(What's the point? What's the point?

What's the point? What's the point?)

I remember trees standing still…

The sky all grey.

Like it was perfect that way.

Now? Not a chirp. Not a peep. Not a cry. Not a moan. Just me, all alone.

With our cat and my phone.

I remember that it was I that questioned thee.

What's the point?

Chapter Five

“Did you hear that? Did you hear what she said about us?”

“Yes, too old to be of assistance.”

“Not going to be adding anything to the team.”

The outcasts huddled together whispering. Her words betrayed her as a bigot, someone who would leave them behind, when she felt they couldn’t keep up, when they no longer could contribute. War and time had taught them that survival was dependent on never placing your fate into the hands of those who did not value your existence.

They looked at each other and smiled with missing teeth. The grime and filth of outliving so many clung to their faces, settling into wrinkles formed from years of existing on the edge of hunger making their bodies appear older than they were. They knew their appearance worked to their advantage, making people constantly underestimate them.

“Where do we start with the wall?” They heard one from their group pipe up, trying to prove his worth to that girl Leila.

“Pssssss...Be quiet. Get over here.”

“I was just...”

“Pitching in? But didn’t you hear her? It doesn’t matter. She has already singled us out as worthless to the survival of those they’ve selected.”

“But, Bryan, the Marine...I trust him. I was a Marine, my father and grandfather...”

“Those were different times.”

“But Semper Fidelis, Esprit de Corps. We’d never...he’d never…”

“Maybe, we’ll see. Talks a good game. But the girl, Leila.”

Each eye met the direct glaze of every other. In the silence, a pact was made.

The group hunched together as one, heads down, calmly pounding rumble into dust as they had been instructed, slowly, rhythmically. Watching and waiting was what they did best. They had, over the last ten years, watched so many younger than themselves leap to action, itching for a fight, running toward battle, dying foolishly.

They sat in place, pounding, and pounding, together like the drums heard over distant mountains when this land was young, before the internet. These outcasts, remembered the ways of the twentieth century and the lost technologies learned as children from their parents and grandparents. Able to understand the meanings of the winds and clouds.

Versed in listening to the untouched universe revealed in the stars at night and the still visibly swirling dots of satellites endlessly circling the scarred planet. They, the oldest survivors, not by chance but skill. And they pounded and pounded.

“Hey, you over there, could you keep it down?” It was Leila. “I’m trying to think over here. You guys probably don’t understand but we need to build strong teams. Bryan will be returning, and he’ll be expecting a plan. He’s counting on me. I need weapon builders not more damn piles of dust! There is a fight coming and we need to arm and train. You guys better just plan to die hiding behind that wall...so could you keep it down?” Her voice dropped to a mutter, “You useless old pieces of shit, dragging down the whole team, I’ll have to tell Bryan it’s time for you all tooo—”

Two hands came up around neck choking her silent and then others came up working, to twist her head off like a chicken. One of the others, who took great personal pleasure, possessing a knife, rushed in and ended the struggle with a quick stab piercing deep. They hung the carcass upside down and drained the warm blood out into the large pounded vessel they had made together. In the passing of it amongst them all, they drink their nourishing fill.

The butchering was quick and expert with strips of flesh set away to lie hidden in the sun to dry. That night, a fire was built, and a spit arranged so when the rest of the team came back from their duties they were surprised.

Felix, smiled at the site of fresh cooked meat, “What have you guys been up to? Did you scare up some game.”

“Come eat with us. Enjoy. It is not much. Just a bit of French cooking we learned to do from back in the day.”

Felix sat down across from John and Monique. He had no appetite for food as he was tired, so he passed on the cooked meat. Instead, he had a cup of water and joined in the heated conversations. Everyone was laughing and rubbing their bellies, burping to the unexpected feast served to them; their enticement was obviously shown in their actions and on their faces since they hadn’t eaten a decent meal in a decade, which was quite the truth.

Across from him sat Jacob. They smiled at each other, and the glimmer in Jacob’s eyes sent an unspoken message to Felix. Hope hid everywhere, even in the ruins of the past, filled with rubble and ash.

Monique and John looked at each other in disgust; yet laughed in selfless remorse over eating human flesh.

Monique muttered soundlessly as she took another bite of cooked flesh, thinking, Who is going to save you now? No one, that’s who.

Written By:

Finder

The villain in his glory,

the damsel, scared,

the hero, to save the day.

Dastardly Dan and Mighty Mike,

fight for the fair maiden, Kandy Kane,

tightly roped upon the rails.

In the distance, a whistle could be heard,

as a train belched smoke,

in its chuga-chuga-chug.

Dastardly Dan and Mighty Mike,

grapple tightly to the ground,

fighting, spuming dust everywhere,

while Kandy Kane ooh’s and ah’s;

praying Mighty Mike saves the day.

… and the train is in sight.

A last flinging blow,

Dastardly Dan goes down,

eyes closed, breath shallow.

Mighty Mike runs toward Kandy Kane.

She smiles knowing her fear is put to rest.

… and the train gets closer.

Mighty Mike runs swiftly,

to rescue the damsel, he so loves.

Not watching where his feet touches ground,

he trips, falls,

sails forward to the ground,

and lands unconscious, seemingly asleep,

his head within inches of Kandy Kane.

… and the train went roaring by.

Dastardly Dan came around,

walked to the bloody scene,

shook his head, muttering,

“Curses,” and walked away.

Mighty Mike would need three stitches for his head,

but thought the look would make him more appealing.

The Director came to them both and replied,

“Don’t worry, we’ll find a replacement for her.”

Everyone on the set broke for lunch.

… and the train backed up for a retake.

"Justice is a self-indulgent brat. She claims not to know Corruption, but they're really next-door neighbors."

"She got me out of summer school once, so she's okay."

"Ugh. Don't get me started, she's all save the animals and use paper bags. I want to shove her in a box called reality."

"I wish she would stop running for student body president. It's getting ridiculous."

"Nobody cares how many times she can argue her grade up from a C, she's still failing civics class."

"Justice is an okay student, but she doesn't know much about the real world. And her classmates are fed up with how she's treating them. Now, this is just speculation, but apparently, she got the prom queen vote recounted because of collusion."

"I heard she broke Truth's nose one time. It was pretty sick."

"My nose wouldn't stop bleeding for a week. I had to join Sadness's support group. He's so obnoxious."

"Yeah, she's okay in my book. Got me out of a bogus speeding ticket once."

"If she makes one more poster about running for student body president, I swear to Religion - okay, she's done it now! Hang on, I need to go burn a few flyers."

"She's got cute hair. Heard she sued a salon over a bad dye job once though."

"She said cheerleading was outdated and sexist. Whatever, loser."

"My crown and sash was taken away because she thought I meddled in the election. I'd get her back if I could, but she'd find some way to get me suspended again. Stupid loopholes."

"Envy stole my shoes one time. Justice got her detention. It was totally great."

"I can't hold a conversation with her. Like I get it, the ice caps are melting, and Friendship's too happy-go-lucky to realize people hate her. That doesn't mean we need to move to Antarctica or tell her the truth."

"This school was built on her. Literally, she used to live on the lot it was built on. Or so I've been told."

"Justice can go fly a kite. Well, poor kite 'cause she'd argue with it over why water isn't wet."