The thick, jet-black sky was teeming with stars,

each one twinkling to the beat of our hearts,

ba thump,

ba thump,

ba thump,

and danced when our hands trailed too close,

my frigid fingertips trailing across his hot palms,

trying timidly, feverishly, to reach equilibrium.

His tenacious coffee-brown eyes animated,

stirring at the very hint of my voice,

(a mere mouse squeak) as I looked away,

pawing at my arm, fidgeting my words

into mush in front of him,

letting them drop to the seat of the bench like 

unfortunate jelly spilled at a picnic,

sticky and clumped, indecipherable,

languorously trailing from my lips

and dripping downward

to the cool-grey concrete slabs

bolstering us up among the night.

It was tedious.

He knew it would be

as he beamed back,

still watching my words flow

like molasses, so dense and viscous

they never came.

He kissed me.

Had I expected it,

I might've stopped him,

tried to make it more artificial,

more methodical, contracted,

mechanical, but I didn't.

I couldn't.

The feeling pressed through me

like a current,

an electric shock pulsing,

refusing to stop until it hit my core,

reverberating through my chest,

forcing my eyes open.

Taking advantage of this moment

he teased, knowing I couldn't speak,

not then,

not now,

not after this;

when I looked back at him,

his gaze was much calmer,

more delicate,

and his laughter floated off

like feathers.

I kissed him.

And how she would shine 

In the mornings 

Like the thrift-store diamond 

She wore around her neck 

A reminder, she'd tell me 

"This is as good as it gets"

She had this way of sorting trash 

Where every stone turned 

Is a gem 

"A multitude of treasure"

She'd say

"If only you remember to forget" 

But I needed 

I needed to remember 

I needed 

I needed her to heal 

My broken body 

With her perfect mind 

I needed to touch 

Her perfect body 

With my broken words 

I needed to write her in and out of existence

I needed to relive every moment I've loved her 

I needed to see her in her cheap feathers

I needed to watch her dig through garbage

I needed to keep my own hands clean

I needed to keep my heart broken

I needed perfect words

I needed to remember 

I needed her to heal 

My broken body 

With her perfect mind 

I needed to touch 

Her perfect body 

With my broken words 

I needed to write

Dirty, torn,

Comfy, warm.

Scuffed from falls,

Soul worn from all

the dust and marble halls.

continuing on

To hope.

her thighs part like the red sea

and i speak only in tongues

a liquid language, we are a fluid people

a shared undertow

pulling into each other

wave after wave

after another

supernovas in stomachs show

we are offspring of the stars,

salt of the earth

rubbing skin like sandpaper,

light of the world

burning cheeks and melding fingers

jesus, she shivers

judas,

i whisper

judas

i never thought i'd do this—

betray faith for

something silver,

something stable

we worship nothing

but we praise resurrection

of our stumbling souls

piece by piece,

we build jericho in minutes

just to come crashing down

until we are whole