And there’s something wicked on the breeze

A letter from down below screaming, “Save us, please!”

This is where I am and where I shall truly stay

This is a to-die-for getaway

A hellish hello from my new forever home

Where souls compete for grace in the flaming thunderdome

Where we take a breath, but it’s not oxygen we breathe

It’s fear and desperation and, on your love, we ravenously teethe

Greetings from beyond the grave, but not from above, no, no, NO...

Hi, my other mother, it’s just ME from down below

Matted fur and blood-caked claws, am I STILL just as pretty...?

I came back for you just like you told me to

Love, your beautiful blue-eyed kitty

(If mother’s cat said hi from Pet Sematary)

And, oh, the release of warm ache, the flow and the ebb of a living scarlet opaque, He took the need from me for my sake and I have recovered, give or take

I’m haunted, the urge does still plague my thoughts and my feelings, but it’s just as vague as the pale scars fading along my leg, deconstructing like a schizophrenic idea conveyed

And of aerosol’s bitter, misty love, I give it up to the one above, excise the impulse, no surgical glove, He uses no tools

Except golden forgiveness wrapped around spools as my tears of repentance collect in sorrowful pools, the last of the blood on the floor clots and cools, He breathes life into me

Finally, I can see that while filled with ethanol, I was utterly empty, drinking despite not being at all thirsty, trying to drown

But better to travel up than down, though there’s plenty of sin to be found in this tame little town, like claiming a virgin white wedding gown when you know good and well

Even if I never tell, my Morphine blue mood is something He can SMELL, chewing transdermal pieces of Hell when she needed them more

I had ‘a special place’ reserved before, that is until He spoke to me through my blackened door, He simply said, “No.”, just one word, nothing more, I stopped dead in my tracks

This was not another of my hallucinatory attacks, I choked on my chemically laced breath in coughs and hacks, doubled over, my lungs painfully wracked, expelling toxic fumes

To suffer forever in firey tombs with mothers who ripped their feti from their very own wombs without remorse and more in tune with satan, not God

Is what I was in line to do, when I swallowed Diazepam and 40 Benadryl, too, an unceasing tone and then I heard YOU, no panic in your voice,

“Go back…” and I had no choice, He didn’t want me yet, no, Ketamine helped hoist and somewhere far away, a lone angel rejoiced, it wasn’t my day

But, still, how I long for the way her embrace and her love gave me the courage to stay, her presence was a beautiful and singular sunray, guiding me through the dark

Yet it is for Him that I should hark, He kept me alive through every pill, every mark, all of the times when life was bleak, cold, and stark, He pushed me to persist

It is He who helps me resist all of the wickedness I used to kiss, He is there when everything goes amiss, and if I have faith, I have eternal bliss

I pray and I say please just let me sleep tonight away with restful ease, before head hits pillow, floor will be knelt upon on knees-

“Dear God…” and He instantly SEES

Fire or ice… which would I choose? Not that it matters, but it’s funny you ask for my opinion: fate has already chosen for me.

Fire is impulsive. Infectious. Insatiable. It grows and grows until it consumes everything but itself and in that moment when fire is at its peak, it recognizes its mistake. In trying to become bigger than itself, it has killed itself.

Ice is strong. Structured. Silent. It remains as it has been and will be. Each crystal knows its place and stays where it is needed. A thousand men can trample it a thousand times over, yet it does not break until—in an instant—it shatters...

Fire or ice? Which would I choose?

Ever since I was a child, I knew the danger of the world. I recognized it in the wild of the winter storms and the scorch of the summer’s heat. I saw it in the wolves roaming free in the forests and the rats scurrying through the city streets. I have seen it from miles away as the cannons sang their chorus of death and in the trenches as men roared their prayers to an empty sky.

This was no place for passion or desire. A calculated mind was critical to my survival. Did it make me distant? Cold? Unforgiving? Perhaps, but that was what I needed to be. I did not ask to become what I am; I hardly had a choice in the matter.

Perhaps that is why I find your question so amusing: I’ve never been given this choice before. Fire or ice?

I would choose fire. Unpredictable, passionate, and wild—nothing like me.

I choose fire.

my fists hold

a fire

that unfolds

into smoke

you'd never know

how much i

need to be

in control

don't get too close

I wanted the ice.

Cool, calculating, solid

I wanted that hardness

To drift along in the world

I wanted the ice

Even if it might melt

I wanted the numbness

Not the pain that I felt

I wanted the ice

Because it’s soothing to touch

I wanted to freeze

Not rush forward so much

I wanted the ice

But that’s not what I got

Because some folks just burn

Whether they like it or not

And within me, they suspend, inanimate until we thaw

Frostbitten secrets under my surface, black as the raven's claw

Smooth beneath the moonlight, my frozen body swallows theirs

I am ICE

You can't drag the lake

I eat husbands and wives in pairs

Fire or ice

Is a question you asked me often

most of the time

I thought you were

entertaining me with hypotheticals

mixing reality with fantasy

fire or ice

and answer mindlessly

without thinking

quick

you’ll overthink it

fire

will consume me

and my insides will be left exposed

ice will be more gentle

I said

it will allow me to fall asleep

pretend I’ll have a pleasant dream

you on the other hand said you’d pick fire

just for the pleasure of watching

it all burn

but what did I do

to belong in the flames?

I have been drinking

gasoline my entire life…

unknowingly, maybe.

I have felt warmness

in people, places, activities.

Sometimes the warmth

felt comfortable,

as if I was settling

in a life that I could find

pleasant, yet regretfully

looking into myself

for fulfillment.

Then there was you-

a firecracker,

a match,

a flame that touched

my mouth

under stars burning

shared stories.

With remnants

of the fuel on my lips,

you set my body ablaze.

By the title, I’m sure you know my answer already.

I choose ice.

Here’s why and what it means to me.

When I was younger, I had a cousin that made custom wolves for people in our group. Each represented a different element or ability of some kind. Mine was the ice wolf, and though I’m not sure why, I have always loved that she chose that one in particular for me.

I love the cold. I love what it represents.

I like the preservation of it, the different types of climates that can be made with it.

Oh, it’s so hot outside that I feel my face literally melting off?

Boom. Ice storm.

Oh, there’s a fire at Ms. Sheffield’s again?

Boom. Exstinguished.

I could build an ice castle. I could create the best sounding ice for ASMR enthusiasts like myself.

I could feel like Storm from X-Men because that’s one of the weather elements she can control.

I could feel like a water bender and pretend that Katara will be my mentor.

To me, those things would be the dream. Enough ice can destory fire, and yeah, it can also be vice versa on that, but I’m considering more from that. Ice kills things, but also preserves it. Fire just kills.

The element of ice is more than...well, an element. To me, it’s control, it’s preservation, it’s a necessary component to many forms of life, it’s my favorite state of matter, it’s helpful.

It’s a lot of things I want to be able to compute into action.

And yeah, my favorite color is blue.

prepare for the fall

ash and decaying buildings

giving way to an endless hole

as white as falling snow

ash and decaying buildings

grey gives way to white

as white as falling snow

watching it burn

grey gives way to white

flames burn white-hot

watching it burn

all i can do is watch

flames burn white hot

impossibly hot, violently burning, and

all i can do is watch

prepare for the fall