My mind wonders often

it delves into

the abyss of eternity

questioning and wandering

about its own mortality

for it's trying to discern

what’s waiting

on the other end

of the long tunnel

so it can free itself

from the genie of smokes

and the euphoric pandora

box chained within

relentlessly fighting

to expose the older man

who is hiding

under the mask

and white lies,

who truly yearns

to free the lost younger-boy

who’s trapped beneath

the pounds of flesh

that’s beating nonstop

yet non-responsive

to his demands

like an ear foreign to

a deafening sound

MidnightInk 8-17-2022

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” Khalil Gibran

Deserve: to do something or have or show qualities worthy of reward or punishment.

Thus, to deserve something requires some effort on our part. And whether or not someone deserves praise or recrimination, gold or coal, is not for the person to decide. Someone or ones outside of ourselves set the standards and decide whether or not we meet or exceed them, and what we deserve in return. (Despite the title, I am not talking about all the marketing that says you (everyone with disposable income) deserve the best car, insurance, diabetes-inducing coffee drink or soda, whiskey, artery-hardening hamburgers, etc.)

What are you owed? Nothing.

Outside of payment for services rendered, based on the employment contract you accept, no one owes you anything at all.

It would be nice if your parents loved and cared for you, gave you a roof over your head, food to eat and an education/opportunities that might aid you in your efforts to become an independent, self-sufficient human being, but, no one is owed the jackpot of all parents. We are the result of a race: the fastest sperm breached the egg. All seven plus billion of us. (I know, minus the IVFers.) Anyway, what makes anyone of those billions deserving of the situations, bad or ideal, into which they were born? Certainly nothing they did. We have no control over where, when or to whom we are born.

It would be nice if when we work hard, we reaped rewards of some sort – a raise, a promotion, an A+ on a test or paper, a word of appreciation for stellar work or behavior. But if you only work for someone else’s response, you may end up quite frustrated. You can work hard and never get that promotion. A bully may never be disciplined and good behavior may go unnoticed. You have no control over other people’s responses or actions, or the wrenches life tosses into the mix. One of the few things we can control, however, is our attitude or response towards all that life throws our way, good or bad.

Study to learn. Be kind because it makes the world a better place for you and those around you. Work for self-fulfillment; for the pleasure of knowing you did your best; to pay your bills. Not for a pat on the back you think you deserve.

Don’t confuse what you want or desire with something deserved: if you tie your happiness to something distinctly out of your control (nearly everything), you make a difficult life more challenging.

Dale Carnegie has some great quotes related to happiness:

“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.”

And my favorite: “Two men looked out from prison bars: one saw the mud, the other saw stars.”

I hope you are a stargazer.

If you didn't know, I am a part of a book collaboration. It's a lot of fun and a lot of work. This post is a call to all writers who are interested in helping, whether that be as a writer, editor, or just a reader. We would love your help and feedback. We have 12 chapters put together but we are currently working on reviewing and editing. It's not a rewrite but it is the next step and we need a new set of eyes. We meet every Saturday at 2:00 EST over zoom but you don't have to come on if you would rather be an editor and reader but regardless of what you are helping with, you are more than welcome to come on. If you are interested, just leave a comment or PM me for more information.

A bit of background for the book: it would most likely be categorized as mystery and drama. It's about a young girl's disappearance and death and how her family deal with the loss.

Note: We each are assigned a character to write and there is one character in need of a writer and two whose writers are unresponsive. If you would like to write and then one of them decide to come back on or we have more than enough writers, we will just have multiple people writing for a character but I'm not sure how many people are going to want to write so please don't hesitate if you are interested.

It happens swiftly,

no warning,

and you never know when,

or why when it is too late.

One day perfectly happy,

all smiles,

until that feeling begins.

You tingle,

for all the wrong reasons.

Your body becomes numb,

you sweat,

tears form in your eyes.

Everything in front of you disappears,

and your world suddenly becomes empty.

No one but you can feel this surge of loss,

this sudden drain of every fiber of your strength,

of belief,

of trust,

of all emotions.

When love is pulled away from flesh,

ripped from the mind,

bursting outward from the heart;

as we know it, we have died.

If I were a rich man,

you would but only have to ask.

But I am poor,

you walk through me,

and will never know.

*****

This was either the second or third poem I wrote when I was 12 or 13. Looking back, I think, how could a kid have these kinds of emotions then. I mean, hell, I was ugly, face filled with acne and back then, I had no clue to what it was like to date a girl.

Just because you illuminated the blue icon is a vain way of covering up the real issue or are you so far stuck up yourselves that there really isn't a glitch, you choose who get's the illumination. Say's it all for me and all the supporters that liked this post, you've shown yourselves up to be what you really are and what you really think of all Prose writers!

In reality, I do not think any new features should be added to Prose until the features they already have are de bugged and work as they should.

For example, although I have only been a member for about a year I notice that a number of winners of challenges do not always get the blue illumination tab depicting a win. It is not that someone else gets it, it is because there is a known glitch in the system which Prose are not in any hurry to fix.

If someone wins a challenge and the challenge setter states the win will be decided by the number of likes, this is when it happens and is not when the challenge setter chooses the winner!

This glitch does not happen on all challenges so you will see the blue tab but they are aware of the problem.

It is because of this glitch that I do not post any work here, I use another site that works to ensure the recognition is given to challenge winners.

Until enough people support and lobby Prose to remove the glitch, this will continue.

The blue tab is a motivational nudge to continue to improve as the writer is attracting the likes and re posts which enabled the writer to win the challenge.

You do not have to support this posting but at least you know there is a glitch that needs sorting out.

nothing really fit into place

until there was you

before it was just others,

trying to fit

my bruised shaped heart

into a square form

There once was a lady named Pat

Whose hat was made from a cat?

The dogs in the area

Saw nothing as scarier

As Pat with her cat as a hat

If you want to get ahead, get a hat!

©Julian Race 11/07/2021

42 likes, 25 re posts and read 325 times and did not win the challenge! The winner had 8 likes!

For over 55 years, I have delved, looked into, wondered and written about many things. From a birth to death, from love to hate, sadness to joy, and all points that intersect.

I have written so much, offered up advice to other writer's on how to publish, how to better their own writing, while all during this time, I kept my own writing, so to speak in the background, and for the longest time, unwilling to put myself out there for the world to see, other than here on Prose.

Today, that all comes to a screeching halt.

I have now officially put one of my collections of poetry on a website that distributes to several store fronts for sale. Scattered Thoughts, although it isn't the same Scattered Thoughts I am doing here (I have three Scattered Thoughts collections, hopefully that will take care of any confusion).

I have to give kudo's to a couple people, one being TW, for telling me about D2D (Draft to Digital). The site is easy to navigate and my collection, withiin less than 24 hours was listed with five store fronts. And will more than likely have more added by days end, and the days ahead.

Two others, Voidkin_Killer (who did the design cover for all the Scattered Thoughts and EstherFlowers1 for her contribution ... I couldn't have done this without your help.

So now, it's official, after probably writing a billion or more words in my lifetime (that's just a guess, don't take me literally), I can now say I am a published author.

Over the course of the next three months, I will put up the remaining Scattered Thoughts, as well as a collection of short stories and the first book of my Evil Series. From there it will vary as to what I will submit and when.

It's a good feeling and now comes my shameless plug.

If you like what I write, then I am sure you will like what is in this collection. It's only $2.99. This is the link and right now you have several options with whch store front to purchase from. That can all be found here: https://books2read.com/u/bpzXMk

So I say to all of you writer's and poet's, if you have ever had the thought to make a dream you have come true, this is one of those times when you can finally crosss that threshold and make it a reality. This link can change your life, or at least get you started in the direction you have privately thought about. https://www.draft2digital.com/

And while writing this two more store fronts have been added.

Life suddenly became better.

I will never walk in shadows,

I will never live in fear,

I will fight for what I want,

and be damned if I shed tears.

I am woman, I am child,

I am strong and will survive.

No one can stop me,

I step forward and remain alive.

I am wife, I am mother,

I am sister, I am friend,

I will never be less than who I am,

with no ending in sight.

I a husband, I am father,

I am brother, I am friend,

I will never be less than who I am,

without end.

I am no less your equal,

and at times I may surpass

all that life may offer;

until I breathe my very last.

Until that day arrives,

I will shout from mountain high;

I am strong, I am a survivor,

and I believe I can fly.

Never doubt your belief,

hold the dream steadfast.

Walk the road to your perfect ending;

knowing you have reached your goal at last.

*****

3/6/2012

9:02 a.m. – 9:09 a.m.

I wrote this nine years ago and posted it on Prose three years ago.

After rereading this again, I felt it deserved second look.

Since that time, I have added an additional portion to this.