I’m Sorry
Those words probably don't mean anything anymore. I know I've said the same thing hundreds of times. I know I'm being a huge asshole saying this again. But I'm truly sorry. This time I'm serious, or at least as serious as a coward can be. You're right if you think I'm running away after today. I've only known to run my entire life; I am scared of confrontation after all. I wish I could say this to your face, all of my feelings and all of my heart but I just can't do that. It's okay if you hate me after this, if you want to strangle me or hope for my death. I understand. I've just had enough of everything. Work, life, relationships, it's all too much for me. It feels like I'm in a daze, or the butt of the punchline to some joke that a god, or maybe God himself, made just for me. I've tried to make things better. But now I'm just tired.
Saving Face
I have fallen from grace
And now I'm tumbling into a crippling chasm
I had forgotten to pay Life her due ransom
So now I surrender, letting the Devil give chase
Transforming my false smile into real grimace
And now only devils see me now
They gaze at my terrible show
A theatre of actors who share the same stage
But Comedy and Tragedy look away
There is no beauty, only a hopeless gray
The choir from behind the curtain
Begins to sing a horrible tune of sin
A cavalcade of nonsensical rhymes
Cacophonies of well-intentioned lies
That never seemed to bear any fruit, only flies
Desperate wanderers who bear witness
Show me a glimpse of my bygone business
A malleable mess that used a thousand masks
My reflection revolts, shuddering, it asks
"When will it stop? When is the final act?"
And I try to answer back in turn
But like a lover who only gets burned
My throat starts to ache, and words start to fail
Thus, I start to lie, and my reflection begins to bail
Knowing that my being already had had its final nail
And so I lie there in the dark, with unfit eyes
Inside a tomb made up of deceit and lies
Surrounded by formless faces and disgrace
I surrender myself, knowing my rightful fate
Knowing that I was but a dream, a mimic, a trace