I am like the stars at night

all glory in my dark

You're drawn to me

but I can see,

You fear I'll leave a mark

But I'm more like the stars in day

all trusty in your flight

And when the sun

goes down again,

I'm steadfast - burning bright

I finally understood the impossibility of holding on to you

With the hunger of my skin

The soft sway of my curves

The quick catch in my breath

The mad clutch of my hands

And the kind of sad patience 

That made me hate myself

I'm hiding and

I want the world

to hear only my whispers

I don't know why

this seems to make it safer

but it does

I've run up the stairs and slammed the door

but I'm on the floor looking for your feet

Come find me world 

I'll let you

Your office, blinds closed

My smile, your eyes

Your kiss, me lost

My breath, your hands

Your scent, my skin

My reaction, your reason

Your desk, my skirt

My hips, your control

You precise, me weak

My gasp, your tongue

Your pleasure, my unraveling

I think in pictures, words, and sometimes in letters.

Sometimes at night, I wake up and see letters bleeding out of the curve of my belly into a little fountain and onto the floor, and I wonder what I’m trying to say.

Sometimes I send you words at night and I worry that the letters are just making little delicate musical noises as they hit the closed window to your bedroom, falling into a pile on the ground outside.

How is it 

that your touch

makes me

forget to breathe

and that 

anything else

exists but us?

How is it

that I can show you

just who I am

and that

every time I look

you're still there?