Too Quiet
The world went quiet… too quiet
As I screamed my truths in my head
I am anger. I am upset. I am pissed.
The more I do right by people
The shorter my end of the stick becomes
When I think of the people who wronged me
They seem to be living their best lives
Where is my best life?
Pictures paint scenarios that are not always true
I was insecure moments before taking my last picture
Several retakes showed different imperfections
Torn between which angle would be liked the best
I deleted all of them in my silence
The world went quiet… too quiet
As the lack of support from people remind me I’m alone
Friends used to be on all sides when I stretched my arms out
Yes life goes on. Yes things change.
I would have never guess they would be one of those changes
They and I were supposed to be forever
Broken too much to talk to them
I move through each day pretending
Pretending to be the happiest person in the room
My pain allows me those good hours in the presence of others
It awaits me as soon as I am alone
The world went quiet… too quiet
When I encourage myself I am doing the right thing
I tell myself God hasn’t forgotten about me
I have nothing else to rely on but God
I have nothing else to rely on when another man means me no good
I have nothing else to rely on as another bill lays in the mailbox
I have nothing else to rely as I spend another night alone
I have nothing else to rely on when I have no one to talk to
I have nothing else to rely on when the tears get to heavy to hold
The world went quiet… too quiet
When I put on the perfect song that used to console me
The empty glass on the counter top didn’t bring any noise
Reciting the perfect poem in my head seemed stupid
Thoughts of hooking up with someone intensifies the silence
Where do I find noise, any noise to drown out this silence?
My silent screams break nothing but my loud thoughts
Photo
I breathe.
I'm trembling,
'It's ok. It's ok. Just delete it.'
My fingers shiver, my body quakes.
Tears squeeze out of my eyes.
The few teardrops turns to violent, distraught tears.
I breathe harder.
I feel cold, yet I'm sweating.
The phone is operating antagonisingly slow
I bite my fingernails
'Please'.
5 more likes, 4 more comments.
I whine- animal-like.
I hear worried whispers downstairs,
However, the quick-paced pings coming from my phone overpower them,
I cradle myself. My fingers wrap around my toes, my head falls to my knees.
I shudder, I cry.
Enough.
My sobs slow down.
I lift myself off the floor.
I try to delete the photo once more,
It works.
My voice cracks as I pray.
The damage is done though.
I see the nude image reposted,
Falling to my knees once more.
