MACKINAC ISLAND (MI). The Mackinac Island Fire Department HAZMAT unit was dispatched to Grand Hotel in the early morning hours yesterday after reports of an "old people smell" were reported lingering on the third floor.

"An early notification and response was key," said MIFD Chief Jason St. Onge. "This was a classic dump and roll of the chemical Trans 2-Nonenal. A decontamination team is currently underway performing clean-up. The source has been issued fresh tennis balls for her walker to help prevent future spills."

Trans 2-Nonenal (C9H16O), has an odor perceived as orris, fat and cucumber. Its odor has been associated with human body odor alterations during aging. According to the Material Safety Data Sheet for the chemical, it can cause irritation if inhaled and has a flashpoint of 174 degrees.

"This is why smoking is illegal at Island hotels," said St. Onge. "One reckless cigarette and this old bitty could've gone up in flames. We got lucky."

Mackinac County Emergency Coordinator Bryce Tracy led the decontamination efforts.

"Training and preparation is everything," said Tracy. "We were ready."

MACKINAC ISLAND (MI). Two killers are at-large in the abduction and murder of a member of the Mackinac Island Band of Chippewa Hotel Pumpkins late Friday night.

"The reasoning is still unknown at this time," said MIPD Officer Sean Kelly. "It appears Mr. Jack O'Lantern was abducted at 7221 Main Street and was later tossed from a moving vehicle a half block away before he was gourd on a pole outside The Pancake House at 7245 Main Street. A truly senseless act. We have a warrant out for a Mr. Barley Corn who was seen pie-eyed and stalking him earlier in the evening."

Mr. O'Lantern stems from a large family on the island. A service is planned for Saturday when his remaining seeds will be scattered.