"Please don't remember this," I heard a wavering whisper. The voice was trembling. So much that I even could feel the suffocating pain that choking him.

A single tear fell silently from the corner of my eye. I tried to say something -- trying to catch his hand that he used to close my eyes. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to ask why he asked me to forget -- what was that he asked me to forget. But just like the other nights, he was gone without a single trace.

As if, he was never there.

As if, it was only a nightmare.

I remembered how I was covered in sweat after that -- my breath was short as if I just had a long run. Then realized that the sky still dawn.

It was always the same dream.

The same whisper.

And the same 3 a.m.

The memory was fuzzy, I could barely remember how I ended up here -- alone in a cold night. I'd never realized that my skin was pale until the moonlight fell against it that night. I stood up there on top of the bridge, staring blankly on the passerby -- trying to figure out how I ended up there every night.

Was I sleep walking? I wasn't sure myself. All I could remember was the suffocating feelings that lingered, my tight chest and my tears that fell without reason. I couldn't remember any reason that brought me there -- anything or anyone. All I could remember was regret.

If only I could be strong enough to face my "already-forgotten-reasons".

If only I could hang on a little longer.

If only I didn't jump that night.

I wouldn't end up here every night alone.

As a lonely wanderer.

The dusk almost fell when a long black hair woman walked towards the windowsill - staring blankly into the nothingness outside her window. The sky was grey and gloomy, her eyes were following the clouds absentmindedly. In the dark room, that woman dragged her feet slowly towards the half opened curtain. She reached her hand out, her lips were half opened, she was out of breath.

"That curtain is annoying," she mumbled to her self, parting the white curtain open with her trembling hand then sat on the windowsill.

That woman looked so pale when the light from the gloomy sky fell on her face. Her eye bags were unmistakably shown under her swollen eyes. Her hair was a mess and she gazed into nothing.

She closed her burning eyes when she heard a sound of door opening from her ground floor followed by quick steps that climbed her wooden stairs. She could hear the faint creak from her room. But the sound stopped outside her door.

"Abby," a worried voice came with the opened door. His deep voice trembled.

She turned her head, threw a blank gaze at his huge figure standing on her door.

"Leon?" she smiled. She walked slowly towards that guy - dragging her heavy feet - then hugged him.

Leon closed his eyes, his brows furrowed and pain shown on his handsome face clearly. He kissed her forehead then hugged her back. Tears threatened to fall when his trembling hand took her left hand then led her to sit back on a rocking chair that faced the window.

"I am hungry," she said.

"I'll be right back," said the guy, messing with her hair then left the room.

Her big room was quiet. The clock ticking was heard when she closed her eyes while her chair rocked back and forth slowly. Her left hand sprawled on her lap - the pain was throbbing - didn't care about her dirty pajamas anymore.

She opened her eyes once again when she felt a light touch on her knees. A kiss landed on her left hand made her giggled, "What's wrong?"

"I should be the one saying that," he mumbled, opening the first aid box beside him.

She stared blankly at Leon when he dipped a towel into a warm water inside the basin near him. She could hear the dripping water when he squeezed the towel. Abigail winced when the wet towel touched her skin. Without word, Leon washed her hand that covered in blood. Abigail stared at the red water after Leon dipped the towel back.

"I'm sorry," he said, wrapping her newly wounded wrist with bandage.

She smiled weakly, "This is my own fault."

"I'm sorry for worrying you. Days with no news."

"Don't worry. It's not you fault."

"I'm sorry. I broke my promise."

"Leon. Stop," her brows furrowed. "I am hungry."

Leon stared at her for a while then sighed - kept on wrapping her wounds without words. The silence between them felt too suffocating. Abigail were biting her right nails sometimes.

"Any other?" he whispered.

Abigail shook her head - made her messy hair covered her face. Leon sighed once again then touched her ankle lightly. He ran his hand softly on every inch of her skin then stopped on her knees - thinking about should he kept on looking for her wounds. He didn't want to go through the same thing.

"Leon," she touched his hand. "I'm hungry."

He stared at her with pained expression then closed his eyes and nodded, "Let's grab something"

She grinned.

"I'm going to take a bath first, okay?"

Her empty eyes followed his broad back. Then she closed her burning eyes. A single tear fell on her cheek.

"Greg told me to treat you carefully," she remembered what Leon said long ago. "You are not as tough as I know."

Abigail fell silent for a second.

"Ah. Yes. Greg."

Leon didn't say anything.

"You might want to leave," she mumble. "You deserve better."

Her heart beat fast and her ears rang. She bit her lips then gulped, "I cut my self sometimes."

"Why?" he whispered - she could sense his shock.

"I don't know. I might be crazy."

A long pause after that. Leon was shocked and Abigail was devastated. It took her a lot of courage to tell anybody about it, moreover his love one. Because every time her loves one left, she fell deeper. She still remembered clearly how she cried a river when she cut for the first time. It was when her father left home. When her father that she admired most left her heart broken and wrecked.

It was fall when I saw her after her disappearance. The leafs fell one by one, following the wind that blew slowly. Some still struggling their hardest, clinging on the twig. The maple trees were covered in red, some were scattered on the ground. Her delicate hand movement caught my eyes, took my breath away, and stopped my feet. It was as if the time slowed down along her movement.

I knew that girl. People said she is a broken ballerina because she couldn't move her legs any longer. I could remember how my heart broken into pieces upon seeing her last performance. Every second of her last dance kept on rewinding over and over on my mind. I had never known being a black swan could be that beautiful.

"What is it again?" I remembered asking a friend about the play.

"Swan Lake."

"And that black swan is a villain, right?"

“Right.”

Her dance was powerful yet beautiful. She was an angry swan but I saw despair behind her every move. I saw a lonesome swan in her steps asking for attention and love. It was as if she harmed her own wings every time she resented other. Because deep down in her heart she didn’t see her own beauty and it made her mad and broken.

I didn’t know how the time slowed towards the last dance. Somehow for me, her every move was performed in adagio. Every scene was spinning in slow motion until she fell on her knees. I could sense her pain from her breathlessness. Her eyes tired, I swore it was about time she fainted.

I remembered after the performance ended, she didn’t come out to bow like the other performers and the next thing I heard first in the following morning from magazine was her injured hip and they said that it was the end of her career in ballet.

But here I stood, near enough to see her figure, I saw her dancing beautifully on her wheelchair. The wind was playing with her long hair slowly, in adagio.

It was a really hot summer when I jogged around the neighborhood. The sun was glaring and my sweats dripped down my brow, the salty taste touched my lips.

"Ew," I wiped my forehead with my sleeve, trying to catch my breath.

I walked slowly towards the nearest bench and opened my bottle, eyes wandering around the park. I nearly choked when my eyes captured the rumored scene, a pair of tantalizing eyes clouded my mind while a pair of intoxicating lips savoring its prey. I'd heard about it a lot, about the enchanting creature that knew no time or place. They said, anything would be given after a kiss, even hearing her luring voice would easily send shiver down your spine.

I blinked my eyes then continued to drink my water, shook my head to forget the previous scene, hoping that it was only my delusion. After all, she was someone I knew since I could remember. I really couldn't believe those rumor. In fact, I couldn't accept it even after I witnessed it my self.

"You have a boner there," whispered a sexy voice. I spitted my drink, and sat straight.

"Stop joking, Lucy."

She laughed and sat beside me. I threw a glace at her appearance then took of my hoodie, throwing it to her head.

That woman smiled to me and mouthed, "Thank you."

I sighed then closed my eyes. The summer breeze touched our face.

"Don't you know what people said about you?" I opened my eyes and glancing at her.

"That I am a Lucifer?" she laughed, her eyes empty. "Of course I know. Those rumors spread even before my eyes."

"Then why do you keep on doing it?"

"I have no choice. You know that," she stared at me blankly.

I extended my arm and pulled her into a hug, "It hurts to see you like this."

"Would you buy me then? I could be your only Lucifer," she pushed me softly then winked.

I stared at her, puzzled. My idiotic face made her laughed hard. Her white teeth showed. I felt something pulled my heart when our eyes met. Deep down, I knew that I love her. But I also knew that I was too coward, I was too scared that I might ended up ruining her. Because I knew my self well enough to understand that I couldn't fulfill her desires. I knew that she was too greedy for her own good and she was a very proud creature.

I felt a soft touch on my lips when my mind wandered. A kiss from Lucifer's intoxicating lips messed my already blank mind. Instinctively, I responded the kiss with a stiff movement, made her chuckled.

Later on, I saw a string of tears fell on her cheek when we parted our lips and she laughed it off when I wiped it with my thumb. Little did I knew, that it was my first and last kiss with the devil. And that was her first and last tears that showed in front of other.

Rumors said that the devil left because of the disease she spread though I might be the only person who knew that she might catch it from her dirty prey. Eventually, it still went to an only conclusion that she reaped what her sewed. That intoxicating lips, choked her own breath.