It's Saturday night ... No Sunday morning

1:05 to be exact.

I'm up tossing and turning , unable to silence my conscience.

Your pillow is cold, & my heart is numb

Where are you?

Checked my phone, no evidence is left that shows that I'm on your mind, so now I feel alone.

1:30 in the morning.

Liquor bottles being poured, weed being smoked, and that girl you didn't like from middle school is getting stroked by that guy you knew in high school. You're the life of the party.

sharing more hugs and kisses, one would think you're running for president . The memory of me lays in your wallet right behind that gold wrapper. I thought your love was a permanent resident but really, you just want to be a nut- cracker.

A nut -buster.

Nut -on others.

Nut-insider.

Nut inside-....her.

2:00 in the Moan'ng.

texts being sent out to flames, trying to swing by to do the walk of shame. misspelled words on Facebook and slurred verbs on snapchat. There's no rules, only one mission. Be a mathematician, divide those two legs so you can be the one in the middle.

Malcolm in the middle.

Nipple, nibble, wiggle.

Pitiful.

3:00 in the mourn'ing.

My conscience yells "don't be so blind! You know shit ain't right".

But when he says he loves me, I want to believe it'll be alright.

But I want to be blind , I know the lies.

When he stumbles in, smelling like sin,

Dried sweat smothers his skin,her fragrance violates my senses. Still I roll over and embrace him despite the fact.

Fuck.

Damn.

Shit.

There goes my conscience again "girl call it quits".

4:00 wait it's 5:00

No ..6:00 in the morning.

My insecurities been exposed

Laying there watching him sleep with no remorse.

I swallow the urge to cry.

The urge to fight.

To yell.

Cause we all know, a nagging woman can't keep a man....

Right?

My Negus;

Don't tense up when you see me, please don't find me distasteful with your body language.

No.

I'm not loud, angry, bitter, nor do I have a chip on my shoulder.

Well.

I am loud, but in ways that you'll find pleasurable.

See.

Just off the pigmentation of y[our] skin, I am certified and overly qualified to understand you, love you, and not Shame you.

Don't.

Over look me.

My spine was created to carry the strength of you when you're no longer able.

My hips were formulated to spread wider then ocean's just to carry y[our] legacy.

My hands were molded to massage your stress away, move in rhythm and drink from your fountain

Wait.

That's a different story, for a different time, for a different moment.

My King.

We were created to align our vibrations together, spawn together, and with love create our kingdom together.

Please.

I'm of you, you are of me, don't let society allow you to continue to hate the womb you came from.

Embrace me, love me, adore me, uplift me, and value me.

Cause no one, can love you like

Me.

- Namanste

K.J