A story about the different “voices” in my head that echo the thoughts my mind goes through when making a decision,

Decision making is considered emotional and happens in the mind--- so it only makes sense that every “voice” in my head that I’m about to introduce, represents one of the basic emotions I deal with on a daily basis.

*Joy Jolly - She is an angelic voice I rarely get to hear because I tend to put others’ happiness before mine. She speaks on revelations full of happiness and utter bliss. I can count on her to rejoice in whatever I decide. Nothing anyone says can sway her delight in the choices I make for my life. She is the most supportive voice as long as I am happy.

*Fan E. Fear - (The E that is her middle name is known to stand for Evoke.) She is the loudest and persistent voice. I consider her talks about a form of torture that never ends. She doesn’t have the ability to shut up, especially when I need to make an important decision, (that could mean life or death). The other voices hush into silence when she speaks, her voice thunders out an authoritative that should not be deceived. Her name is a mirror on how she is able to use her words to spark my fears and spread them beyond my control. Similar to a fan exciting a flame that grows into a fire you can’t contain. It is no shock that she’s married to My Anxiety, the burns they create with their words hurt deep. I can’t look at the wounds, therefore, I am unable to soothe the pain

*Miss Selene Sadness - She speaks in a whisper that I try to ignore. It’s ironic that a barely audible tone would be the one that catches my attention the most. The memories that haunt me and bring me down are the only ones she tends to comment on. Her voice keeps me company when the moon wakes me and my thoughts refuse to escape me.

*Disgusted Desiree - She likes to babble about her disapproval of the paths my life seems to be traveling on. The sinful desires in my heart and mind gives her voice a megaphone, I fear will travel out my own mouth in sound. 

Mrs. Serenity Surprise - She keeps me on my toes always using her voice to astonish me. She tends to remind me of a coin toss, it’s always going to be heads or tails when she speaks. Half the time she reasons with the other voices opinions and half the time she bravely states the opinion no one else wants to admit out loud. I would say she is probably my favorite voice because the choices she offers continuously amaze me.

A. Nger - She is the most complicated voice in my head. She has a short attention span and her chatter is often overlapped by all the other voices. She is quick to speak but even quicker in changing her lines. I can’t listen to her voice too much because she contradicts her position on my mind every time she speaks.

Mr. Ez Excite-Ment - (The only voice in my head that represents masculinity.) He speaks with an eager, in-it-to-win-it, tone. The enthusiasm he manifests in every speech is a passionate way that earns my devout attention. He enjoys the thrill and adventure of life, as much as I do. The yang to my yin, (Mrs. Serenity Surprise), an energy so strong, begins to trust my mind. 

Ms. Rose Shame - She speaks the least out of all the voices, I’m not sure why. Truth be told her speeches tend to be shallow in terms of importance. It is my honest belief that it is near impossible to be humiliated by your own foolish behavior. I should mind her words, a little more closely, in the near future so I may avoid any unnecessary distress.

Guilt E. Girl - She loves to talk about decisions that weigh on my conscious mind. Her theories are almost always right. She nags me every day about a million things I could do, with my thoughts, to better my life. She is a constant reminder of some choices I need to make right. 

Witch of Contempt - She dislikes everything in my inner mind; the other voices, my life choices, basically everything that makes me, me. When she speaks, her words cast powerful spells, that name me worthless to my mind. She’s also a good listener; very patient as she listens to all the secrets I keep in mind. I can’t hate her though, her voice calls out to the deepest and darkest thoughts I have buried deep inside, she has a strong sense of disregard in the annoying way she talks in phrases.

Since the voices in my head seem to be here to stay,

A young sophisticated woman,

Independently raising her children

Because it was the only way she could save their hearts.

Her enthusiasm for a better life was powerful;

Driven by those who would knock her down,

Haunted by memories she’ll never talk about,

Accepting the hand that she was dealt,

Unbothered by destructive criticism

With integrity that made her unwaveringly strong.

A young sophisticated woman;

Her enthusiasm for a better life was powerful,

Accepting the hand that she was dealt.

#Dedicated to my best friend S.H.

Delightful dreams are

Deep desires.

Daring directions with

Dauntless detours;

Delicate decisions.

Relaxing rests that

Rejuvenate and reward.

Rousing romances with

Respectful regards;

Revitalizing reasons.

Enchanting epics that

Entrance and encourage.

Exciting endeavors with

Ecstatic energy;

Endearing experiences.

Alluring aspirations that

Admirably adjust attitudes. 

Amusing assessments with

Artistic actions;

Awestruck answers.

Mesmerizing movies that

Marvel the mind.

Modest memories with

Musical moments;

Merry motivations.

Surprising summations that

Satiate the skillful silence. 

Significant scenarios with

Serene sentiments; My

Safe-haven for sensitive secrets

(is my dreams)

A little girl lost her dad today.

He wasn’t her blood but he was the man that raised her

She knew something was wrong when

They woke her gently, morning stars were still out.

A trip to the airport home, her summer vacation cut short.

No one made a sound.

A little girl lost her dad today.

Off the plane and straight to the hospital

Everyone she knew was there except her dad and mom.

A thousand knowing eyes but no one could speak.

The look on her face, confusion, as she noticed

Her family’s broken expressions and eyes were unfocused.

A little girl lost her dad today.

“Where’s daddy?,” she whispered and the room came silent.

Someone finally uttered, “He is asleep, up in heaven,

He rests with the angels and he is at peace.”

Tears trickled down her cheek

I could tell she didn’t know what that meant.

A little girl lost her dad today.

The doctor came out to take her to see her mom.

One step in the room and she couldn’t go further,

All the tubes and the monitors were something she couldn’t bear.

It wasn’t until years later that she would understand

The burden of being the messenger.

My little girl lost her dad today.

“Please God help me, what do I say?”

When I got the news I dropped down to my knees.

I cried so hard after that call

We thought we had time but I guess we were wrong.

I pray she forgives me because tonight when she goes to sleep

She will mourn a dad she never got to meet.

”Decisions, decisions. Lol I would say we can day drink but I ain't got no alcohol.”

Weekdays are usually reserved for mother duties; tend to the kids, make sure dinner is ready by the time my husband comes home, and keep an orderly clean house throughout the week. This Thursday is different though because one must celebrate it with a bang.

For what does one do on the last day that they are thirty? 

My best friend and I have been nonstop talking about my impending birthday. I'm not one to celebrate but this year was my redo of a bash I never got to have for the big three-oh. On my to-do list include a few simple wishes like dying my hair, getting a facial, receiving a wardrobe lift, and spending time with my girls (alone, I might add). 

So far it's been a slow start of the day but the sun is bright and high in the sky; a positive sign that this day will take a turn for the better. If I know my best friend like I think I do, she will roll through around noon necessities in tow to help me pregame the day of my birth.

It looks like it's going to be cheers to me; older, wiser, and still here!

Intuition;

Is it iconic?

Is it ironic?

Immediately impressive instincts;

Internally intertwined ideas;

Intuition is iconic.

Intuition is ironic.

It is immensely important;

It is intimately insightful;

Instant in innocently, illuminating intrigue.

The hum of the fan is a familiar melody.

I lie with patience, waiting, I enjoy the song.

I close my eyes and I let my thoughts drift.

A sweet aroma fills me up with intoxication.

My cue that you’re almost done.

I sneak a peek and it’s mesmerizing,

the flush of your skin,

the rise of your flesh.

I get so excited watching you

come to an end.

Fresh from your performance,

I am gentle as I take you into my palm,

warmth radiates throughout my body.

My mouth waters with anticipation.

I take my time putting you in my mouth,

you are so moist, I can’t help myself.

Pure pleasure in how you always manage

to be firm on the outside yet soft on the inside.

A sweet and familiar friend on my tongue.

It’s amazing that it only takes ten minutes for the cookies to be done.