Walk Away
They say I’m obsessed
With you.
But, of course
I’m not.
I can let you go, anytime
Just walk away
And wave goodbye if you want to.
And all the pictures on my wall
Would soon be gone
If you left, too,
Replaced by those of someone new.
I like you, sure
And think about
You every single day
I love to watch you
Eat and sleep
That’s just my loving way
Of course I’m not obsessed with you
Feel free to walk away
If you can break the chains and lock
Then you don’t have to stay
If you can crack the cellar maze
Then just be on your way.
Of course
I can always find you
As I chipped you when I drugged you.
Apology
Dear Me,
I am sorry for . . .
1. Calling you unworthy.
2. Telling you that you couldn't possibly be liked or loved as "just yourself."
3. Trying my hardest to convince you that you couldn't succeed, couldn't do what makes you happy.
4. Badmouthing you to others and then telling you it was for your own protection, that you would only disappoint them if I acted as though I believed in you.
5. Telling you it wasn't worth it to try, because you'd never be good enough.
6. Laughing at you when you would get your hopes up, when you would think, "Hey, maybe I can do this!"
7. Determining your worth based on how I thought others perceived you.
8. Not listening to or supporting you.
9. Calling you pathetic and unwanted.
I do love you, and I believe in you, and sometimes I still find you pathetic, and I don't quite know why, and I don't know why I perceive your accomplishments as not accomplishments when they really are, and I don't know why I still look at you sometimes and think, "You're so unloveable." I don't know why I go down that negativity spiral, but I am sorry for dragging you - someone who I love and am proud of and hopeful for - down the vortex with me.
Sincerely,
Me
You Can’t Have Everything
I’ve ran out of ways to describe how you make me feel. And yet,
I haven’t even begun to graze the surface
I feel you in the wind and I feel you in the chilly afternoon air
I hear you in Netflix series and in The Beatles songs
I think about you every day, in the morning and the night
The second I wake up to the second I’ve fallen asleep
Even sometimes, my dreams.
You’re nothing tangible anymore.
Nothing more than a whispy lavender nostalgia.
And yet,
You’re still
My everything
Admit You (version 2)
At last
Now I'm back.
Hoping that you ache at the thought of me,
Seeping and damp at the thought of me.
I hope that you admit you missed me.
You don't want to
Admit you missed me.
I start to rise
At the thought of you.
Inside you deny
But I hope you will
Admit you missed me.
I smell your gratitude as I touch your neck with my lips.
Your gentle moan as your body reacts and begins to
Admit.
You missed me.
We kiss.