Oblivion

Dear you,

I’m sorry I left so suddenly. I’m sorry you’ll only read this after I’m long gone. I’m sorry you didn’t know that the last time was the last time. Life doesn’t give you warnings before a life-changing incident happens, it’s not fair, and I’m sorry that life has to be this hard. Remember that one time when we talked about our insecurities and fears? Remember how I told you that I fear being forgotten, that I don’t think I’m special enough to be remembered, that when I’m gone people will only be sad for some time, then life will go on as if I never existed? I’m gone now, and I know that there is no way for me to figure out wether my fears will come true or not, but I want at least you, you who I loved like no other human being, I want you to remember me. Remember that I didn’t eat breakfast, because my stomach hurt if I ate in the morning. Remember that I loved peach ice tea, and that caramel cappuccino with whipped cream was my favorite coffee. Remember that I hated spicy food, and that I had a sweet tooth. Remember that I was a chatterbox who never shut up. Remember that I loved winter, but autumn was my favorite. Remember that I loved my teddy bear more than most people in my life. Remember that I cared about birthdays, anniversaries, and special days, and that I loved getting presents for those I care about. Remember that I was a crybaby who would cry over nonsense, and that I would become ecstatic with a simple word. Remember that I always loved wholeheartedly, that I was always there for anyone who needed me, and that I always felt I was never enough. Remember that I was a good friend, but never a great one, that I was the close friend but never the lover, that I was never loved the way I loved. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just me and the way I am, and that’s always been the problem. I overthink, over-feel, and I over-love. It’s just me, I couldn’t change that, and I couldn’t live with it anymore. I fear oblivion, I always have, so please let me ask you, my forever favorite person, to allow me to make one final selfish request;

Please,

Remember me...