NONEXISTENCE

I scream silently

as I mask the agony

and pain I feel

inside my guts

as I face the fact

that I am not whole.

“Why,” I wonder

am I incomplete?”

I cannot understand

how the rest

of my inner being

has slipped away

into a nonexistence.

Where did my strength

and love of life

lose its punch?

I’d like to place

the blame

on others I have known

but I am accosted

by the blow

of realization

taking me down

to the depths

of my quintessence

that I am at fault

for I am broken

lacking, disconnected

from my reality.

For I am not present

in my body

existence escapes me.