Hand rubbed up my leg, in between my legs, into my pants.

He's lonely I tell myself.

Hand pushed my hair aside, pulled my shirt off my shoulders, played with my bra strap.

He's depressed I tell my self.

What did I do to make him do this to me?

Do I tell him to stop or tell myself it'll be over soon and it's better this way?

One day, about two years after we moved, I was having fun at a church function.

Laughing and joking with friends and family.

I was pulled aside.

"He died two hours ago,"

The tears didn't come at first.

So many times I had wished for him to die, and now that he had, I can't bring myself to say it was right.

I sat down and reflected,

then I cried.

And it didn't stop.

I couldn't figure out why I was crying.

Once I had stopped crying I went out to face everyone. As soon as someone said they heard what happened and that they were sorry I started tearing up again.

I didn't know what to think. It's not like I cared for him all that much, I guess I just couldn't stand it, and I don't even know why. None of them knew who he was or what he did, so no one thought anything of it. But I did.

I struggled with the fact that someone could do that to a little girl. How someone could sleep soundly at night when I was up tossing and turning. My mother even asked me if someone had hurt me because I kept wetting the bed. I hadn't done that since I was three. I didn't tell her the truth, mainly because I didn't think that was the issue, and at the time it wasn't. Not really. But I did have a dream I got raped. In the women's bathroom. I was ten. Ten year olds shouldn't be dreaming of that kind of stuff. But I did.

I struggled with the fact that someone looked at me that way. Did everyone? I thought.

I kept thinking whenever I went out someone was always looking at me in that way, and it terrified me.

How did I get over this?

Friends I guess. Distractions. Something to keep my mind off of it. Also I found some things are more important. Does that sound wrong? I'm not sure, but it's true.

Now it's just something that has formed and shaped me over the years, and I accepted it. It's part of my past and it's something I can live with. Something I do live with.

Kendrick said, "So I met this young lady, you know. When I went back home, I was trying to spit my best game to her, you know, give her my best cap, but she kept on snapping her fingers like *snap.* I said, 'You know what, girl, you crazy." Then she asked me what he said."

H.B. said, "So I was watching Colbert, you know. When I went back home, after work. I was watching the one with Kendrick Lamar, watching him emanate some pure art. I thought, 'Damn. This guy's a pure artist, performer, and genius.' Then right after that, I hear..."

"What did the Asian say?"

"A peace of mind. That's what the Asian said. I need a divine intervention was his religion and now I'm surprised, him believing in Buddha, me believing in God. Asked me what am I doing, he said taking my time. Meditation is a must. It don't hurt if you try. See you're thinking too much, plus you're too full of yourself. Worried about your career; ever think of your health?"

H.B. replied, "Some beautiful lines. I say with my mind. That's what the viewer says, you make me feel right, immersed in all your flow, it feels divine. You ask what am I doing, I say thinking of rhymes. Pure elation is the thrust that encourages us to jive, to never give up, transform the hand you were dealt. Wording is your career, admiring your verbal wealth."

"What did the Indian say?"

"A piece of land. That's what the Indian said, I needed demand, telling me longevity's in the dirt, buy some property first, profit a better dollar with generational perks. Equity at its best. Really, you should invest. These tangible things expire, don't you expect? Income with so much outcome, and yes - look at my heritage; we blessed."

"A peaceful rant. That's what I'm saying now, I say with the hat, rabbit's in the trance, I'll make him do a dance, dance and prance always in this hat, the opposite of a curse. Gifting at its greatest. Come and see the latest. I will play this A+ list hardwired on the wire of desire. Do you conspire? Conspiracy with so much irony, think of Holden C - no phony."

"Now what the black man say?"

"A piece of nookie. That's what the black man said, I needed to push me to the limit, satisfy my hunger, do it all for a woman. Hair cut to a wool, we like to live in the jungle, like to play in the beach. What you saying to me? He said, 'Homie, come back to reality for a week. Nookie is power, cut on a new chick every night. I wouldn't be prouder. You should allow it."

"A feast of cookies. That's what cookie monster says, he wants all those goodies, take the lid off the jar, compromise this wonder, do it all for a judgment. Does this make any sense? If not then good in a bundle, like this playing is real speech. Speaking of which, how're you responding to it? You say, 'Blue and red aren't mixing all too well. Is right now the hour? Is 'write now' the power?'"

"What the white man say?"

"A piece of mines. That's what the white man wanted when I rhyme. Telling me that he selling me just for $10.99. I go platinum for rapping, I do the company fine. What if I compromise? He said it don't even matter. Make a million or more, you're doing better than average. You losing your core following, gaining it all. Put a price on my talent, I hit the bank and withdraw. Hit the bank and withdraw, hit the bank and withdraw. Put myself in the rocketship and I'll shoot for the stars. Tell me what you accomplished and what you said to the boy. I will make you some promises that you just can't ignore. The profession anonymous as an artist. I don't talk at your money. You ain't signing your signature when I throw you my wallet. Now the rappers are giving their demo all in the toilet. World tour, your masters, market, I need you."

...silence...

it's okay if you keep your ears shut

when you're six

while giants try to teach you the alphabet-

you can learn how to spell "czechoslovakia" and still not comprehend your lover

when they say they're leaving-

melancholy is a language all its own

and you will cry as you go

but learn as you grow

in first grade,

focus on counting your blessings

instead of your tens-

although harder to memorize,

they're far more important to remember

know your beginnings and endings-

do not let sundays take your soul

if you need help-

ask-

do not dig your own grave

when you're only thirteen

purely because you've only ever known

how to shovel

there is at least one person

willing to get their hands dirty

in order to water your withering spirit

discover cause and effect

as early on as you can

so when your mother yells

you will be able to take care of your wounds

before they begin to bleed

do not be an open book-

not everyone deserves to read your story

some people will only stay for the climax

little do they know

no mountain peaks at sixteen

familiarize yourself with hot glue and duct tape at an early age

learn how to fix the broken

so mending your heart will be a breeze

most importantly,

don't follow in my footsteps

unless you're looking to get lost

Know that any criticism, fear, or dismissal that comes your way from peers is their shit and not yours. You are magnificent, incandescent and have everything you need to make things happen. You actions have a ripple effect, whether you can see them immediately or not. Point? You matter. You make a difference. If something looks interesting, try it. Failure is the best thing that can happen. It indicates that you are DOING life instead of WATCHING life. Participate. Become your best friend and others will follow. You CAN do it. Use your imagination and take it seriously; this is where new realities spring from. Change is your friend. Keep your heart open and learn to meditate. Surround yourself with things and people that make you feel supported, don't waste your time on the critics unless you're living under their roof. Remember, 18 is coming.

it's okay to be a bookworm but know that you'll understand the words better once you've lived them

writing is a type of magic made of words and writers, but writers must have something to write about

hold your tongue around fools the way you hold your breath around smokers

but don't cover your mouth or your nose, hands are unsteady and independent

you don't have to be sad to be important

the people who only care when you're falling apart aren't the sort to associate with at all

You want the very best advice that I can give you, something that when I was young I never even thought of?

Have you seen the late Robin Williams great movie 'Dead Poets Society'....?

Seize The Day.

Everything in your life could change in a heartbeat. So live every second of every minute of every single hour. Live. Run, jump, laugh, sing, shout.

Do it. Seize the day.

Enjoy having summers off

Having meals prepared for you

Laundry fairies that do your wash

Free things/allowances

Great friends

Try new things

And travel every chance you get

These are the things you will miss when you get older.

But above all else, remember youth is only a short period of time so do not waste it worrying about what others think of you. Just be yourself. That is good enough!

We tare down we brake down we are teens. Hello teen me have I hurt you today, have I hurt some one today, or did I have some one hurt me. We have no where to run no where to hide just you and me, let the hurt out let the warmth in, because it is to cold to keep yourself your feelings all inside, yes teen me I know who I am and I have hope of what I'll become. But today I am still a teen, but let's us today teens of 2014 and now 2015 please let use have the decency and courtesy to show other people what it's like to get up after you have just fallen.. I am a teen I am going to be me I am going to make a change.—Terra