Entry 8, April 36- An Ode to Gratitude and all that is Fake
Gratitude is fake. It's thanking someone for holding the door for you, even though the minute you get there it is already closed. Still, you smile at them- faking an attempt to stroke their ego. That's why I only nod when I see strangers in hallways, a slight recognition so they know they exist. That's the thing- people always say to be honest, complementing your outfit even when you wear an ugly sweater, your makeup is smudged, or your pants are on inside out. I go out of my way not to do that, just to give people a taste or reality. Gratitude is superficial- it doesn't mean anything, and sugar coats every emotion.
But indebtedness- indebtedness is real. It is the tattered lining of your feather light purse, the fake nod you do to your boss at work, and the fraying edges of that six year old sweater you got before going to college. It is powerful. It is life changing. With indebtedness, you can bring the whole world to your knees.