I feel love, just differently.

I don’t talk about myself often so I apologize that I can’t express myself well.

I’m sorry, but I lied to you. For years.

You’ve been waiting for me to admit it.

Either way, you deserve the full truth.

If I summoned up my courage would it be enough?

I wish it were so easy to say.

I’ve felt this way for so long. I’ve tried too many times and always failed.

How could you ever consider me? The guy who’s been bullied for years?

I can’t even speak in front of a crowd, and would rather stay at home playing video games by himself than go outside and face the world.

I’m always thinking. My thoughts are loud and violent, but I’m meek and timid. If I spoke up I knew I would say the wrong thing.

My words always get snagged in my throat, cutting me on their way out, but erode quickly after being exposed.

I will tell you soon. I just need time to muster up the courage.

The feelings come to me easily but always feel uncanny.

I cringe at the idea of hearing myself say those words as if they don’t sound genuine.

Simply because they're mine.

You’re so dear to my heart, but love is not known to me.

I do love you. I promise. I’m just not enough

And maybe that’s my ego talking. I regret even the thought.

I’ve dragged it on long enough!

I realize now I’m procrastinating.

I can’t live my whole life in fear!

Right?

Next time I get the chance I will tell you everything.

I’ll stand up to face you in my mirror reflection.

I’ll look upon you and aspire to be a better version of myself that could make you proud.

I’ll always love you tomorrow, but not today.

I hate you.

You didn't raise me.

You tolerated me.

We both grew older.

My heart grew colder, and I drew further from you.

Hoped I'd never see you again.

Then I got the call.

"You're mother's dying"

When their words stopped, I couldn't stop crying.

I love you.

I feel love, just differently.

I don’t talk about myself often so I apologize that I can’t express myself well.

With that said, I have to confess that I have made a grave mistake. I lied to you. For years. Maybe you already know. Maybe you’ve been waiting for me to admit it. Either way, you deserve the full truth.

I think I’m in love with you…

I said it.

I wish it were so easy to say it to your face.

I’ve felt this way for so long. I’ve tried too many times and always failed. It’s harder than you think. How could you ever consider me? The guy who’s been bullied for years, can’t speak in front of a crowd, and would rather stay at home playing video games by himself than go outside and stay with you.

You always ask me why I’m so quiet. Well, it’s because I’m always thinking. I’m not like you. I’m not fearless, and charismatic like you. My thoughts are loud and violent, but I’m meek and timid. If I spoke up I knew I would say the wrong thing. My words always get snagged in my throat, cutting me on their way out, but erode quickly after being exposed. I will tell you soon. I need to muster up the courage.

The mere thought of confessing makes my body shiver. I cringe at the idea of hearing myself say those words as if they don’t sound genuine simply because of their mine. I do love you. I promise.

I was never meant to belong but stoop up for me. You stood by me. Maybe you didn’t think much of it but it meant everything to me. You, a goddess, protecting what was no more than trash.

Yet, I still delude myself into conceiving a future with you.

You’re so dear to my heart, but love is not known to me.

The feelings come to me easily but always feel uncanny. The rejection I anticipate comes so naturally to me that it’s like fate.

Maybe it was meant to be. Maybe you could’ve replaced the broken edges that I can no longer fix. Maybe I could’ve been that for you. And maybe that’s my ego talking. I regret even the thought.

I’ve dragged it on long enough! I realize now I’m procrastinating. I can’t live my whole life in fear! The consequences be damned!

Right?

Next time I get the chance I will tell you everything. How I’ve loved you since we first had the same class together. Since we shared countless moments and talked about everything under the sun. Through your first terrible boyfriend. And your second one. Even with us being worlds apart I still feel your warmth against my cold pale skin. I’m too afraid.

I’m not enough.

I’ll always love you tomorrow, but not today.

Far to the west, beyond the Great Sea.

There exists a land greater than any other.

With vast golden plains, & vibrant fields of wildflowers akin to nothing of this world.

Past the throes of warriors & their desperate pursuit of salvation.

Frozen, jagged valleys that echo only their sorrow.

On grounds treated as a haven adorned with their enemies.

They seek war & glory with death as the ending.

Can we find it?

As above, so below there are inevitable outcomes

Be prepared to welcome either with open arms.

Should we embrace what is in this domain?

Are we destined to only find remnants of broken men and their dreams on this quest?

Will our search for virtue end at the Sanctuary that never sees nor is seen past the horizon?

Separated by waters that deafen the marriage of metal and flesh.

Land warm & fertile; life has no chance to diminish.

If so,

Let us bring them.

Share our love, & our land blessed by generosity.

Sacred & eternal, where the sun always shines on our spirits & our land.

Let us shed our light on their wilted, weak & vengeful hearts.

Guide them far west, to the land we relish.

A place that transcends the peace of death, & the sorrow of life.

For those noble & irredeemable.

Let us hope this dream does not disappear, and that we are not woken up.

A land without slavery or war...

Vinland.

My king, perfect and unrelenting.

All that you can see shall be yours.

Patriarch and savior to all those worthy.

We are but humble servants to life's greatest creation.

My king, inquisitive and wise

Why do you choose to mingle amongst fodder?

Why does rubbish peak your finer interests?

What do they provide that we cannot?

My king, ambitious and admirable.

My devotion is a testament to your greatness.

No request is too ambitious or difficult.

Your goal becomes mine, and my life becomes yours.

My king, do not be deceived by their virtues.

There are snakes in your court.

They wish to confide their humanity within you.

I only ask that you don't let their thoughts preoccupy your own.

My king, you have changed.

Why must you suffer from the concerns of the many?

Why have you cast me aside for the counsel of another?

I serve only you; my holy grail.

My king

I've been driven mad with immeasurable despair; I've lost you.

The thick air cuts my lungs, my heart bleeds & my face swells up in tears.

Why do you gaze upon me with sorrow?

My king, you no longer display your purpose, your conviction, your grace.

I see you searching for new meaning & I know I have failed you.

You are a king without a name;

A ruler whose empathy poisoned him.

A leader whose sacrifice was for the unworthy.

The king that sought to unify all under his power, and judge them equally.

I see now that you have evolved into something greater.

Beautiful, & tragic, yet with the capacity to accomplish even greater visions.

You are now Human; a man, as much as any another.

Their poison takes hold of you, but I will draw my last breath soon.

Your dreams will not die with you.

This is a song(Song Name in the title)from the soundtrack of a show called "Hunter X Hunter". Not only did the show have a profound effect on me, but this song is also emblematic of some of the biggest moments in the story. This song is classical and tragic, and I thought it was the perfect one to use for this piece.

We either fail our expectations of accomplish our dreams.

A void will consume your life without purpose.

A dream fulfilled demands new meaning.

The process repeats itself unending till death.

Among those in Oceania,

People live in a kingdom by the sea;-

The seashore became their refuge.

Sanctuary is what they saw on that small beach,

But life there is still now;-

The wind touched their dreams before withering away.

Tides trampled upon their fragile dreams.

Each wave washed away their spirits;-

Yet they held steadfast and resilient.

Delicate to the touch, these riders of the Oceania,

Pioneers in a world of despair and suffering;-

They slaved to turn hell into a home.

Coveting a delicate

Their despot's rule receded with the tides;-

They wished for nothing more than contentment.

Let us ride to Oceania,

Seek refuge in their sacrifices to challenge our own vulnerabilities;-

Accommodate their fractured spirits, as we walk alongside their paths.

May we witness their history and the coral walls that held them,

Lament and learn from their sacrifices;-

Let's take a walk through an ocean town.

less like a flash, and instead of an unpredictable series of flashes...

Life is chaos

Death is stillness.

Life and Death come without our consent

they push us to become our best and

degrade us into our worst.

neither has any concern for our well-being, our circumstances and provide little choice in how we experience them

neither holds intrinsic value, yet we create and carry so much meaning.

from our beginning, we live out of our lives giving meaning

hoping there is meaning in the middle

in the end, what we feel matters is to reflect on our experience of it all.

the beginning of life is consistently inconsistent; full of pain and confusion

that middle, hopefully, legitimizes our suffering and justifies every moment we experience

the end, always the same.

Life is meaningless

Death is meaningless.

we empower ourselves to give them more than what they gave us

we give meaning to these inscrutable things.

make it so, and meaning will be born

make it so, and meaning can die or be reborn.

Live and Die with the intent to Live after Death.

a legacy will always outLive you.