Trust without Gift

Sited at the pinnacle of the hill, watching the distant lights as they popped up slowly from afar to illuminate the darkening night. The sun had just gone down but there were no traces to show for the gigantic light that had lit up the sky except for the heat left behind that was quickly enveloped into the cold breezes that were blowing. “what if the sun never went down.” Lilly blurted out. It was more like thinking aloud.

Chris looked at her as she squeezed his hand a little tighter snuggling closer to him.

She closed her eyes dreamily as she thought how lucky she was to still have this man that she adored after a fuzz of events that had brought her to call off her engagement.

Chris couldn’t help but notice that she was far lost in her own world. He looked far beyond giving her a moment to indulge in her own thoughts. He knew he had messed up that day, not that it was his own initiative but how had she come to know. “May be Kathy had told her.” Kathy was a good friend of Lilly and a work mate to Chris. After the incident, Chris had talked to Kathy to give him a chance to be the one to explain to Lilly of which she had agreed. “No, Kathy was someone you could trust” he waved the thought a ways as it seemed absurd since Kathy was the reason these two lovebirds had met and was always available to help them in any way she could.

He still wanted to find out. As the grip on his hand grew lighter, he tried his luck.

“That incident. Today.” He fumbled.

He thought it better to let it go. She had been through a lot with her Grandma’s bypass operation and then him, “no”. Better to leave it. What if she hasn’t really let it go.

“Yes”

“Nevermind”

“It’s just abeautiful evening”

He looked farther beyond to see an array of red light, as he looked with more intent, he realized they were lights from the rear of cars all going the other direction.

“I was in the room; I had come to check if you would go with me at the hospital after picking a few things from home”

“You don’t need to”

“But you want to know” she turned her face lifting up her chin and flashed a smile at him

He turned his face away smilling realizing why she was the woman that he always wanted to be with.

In a moment, his brain processed what he had just heard and realized couldnot match his memory”

“You couldn’t have been in the room. I had just come from the reception desk, I would have seen you if you had entered” he opposed

“Its hard to believe. The same way I was in the operation theatre, the Insurance manager's office and many other places”

“Are you okay? Chris put the back of his hand on her forehead

She laughed heartily to his amused disbelief in an effort to lift up the agony of all the anxiety she had carried in the last week.

“Okay. Am going to try to make you believe it”

“So it’s not believeable.”

“Not in the way you’re saying it.” She playfully pushed him on the shoulder. “It’s kind of complicated but true.”

Biting her right hand index finger nail and holding her chin with her thumb, she reminiscised on the events of the day. “Where should I start from?”

“From how you came into our office”

“No.” she quickly waved away his suggestion

“I know.” She said snapping her finger excitedly. “From this morning. I will tell you beginning from today morning.”

“Am all ears”

“Today I woke up to a bang on the door, I went to see only to find the delivery guy who brings warp yarn for Nana every Monday morning. He must have been shocked to see me instead of Nana. I sign the papers and received the warp yarnn boxes from him. As I was shutting the door, he asked for his payment.” She laughs at the memory wondering if her ears could have escaped Nana’s hand had she been around that morning to remind her that people pay for deliveries.

“As I search in my bag for my wallet, I take notice of the gold coin”

“The gold coin?” Chris cuts through

“Yes. But you need to be patient for me to paint for you the whole picture”

“Yes, ma’am” he resigns himself to the listener’s chair.

“Yeah, the gold coin. Yesterday as I came out of the office of the insurance company manager, I bumped into this old man. I was too distraught to even notice what I had done. He mumbled some words and bent to collect his valuables that had fallen. At that moment I realized I was too lost in my world and pushing the burden on every one. I decided to help pick up, 'what the heck!' As I handed him the pen which was the last thing on the floor, he held my hand and told me something like; 'it will be alright.' For the first time I looked at his face and realized one of those kind faces. “Thanks” I answered with a forced smile not realizing he was warming up to a conversation.

That’s when you called to ask if I had been able to talk to the manager to have the insurance cover up all Nana’s medical bill”

“Oh yeah. In the evening. But there was someone talking to you in the background.”

“Do you always listen to people talking to me in the background?”

“When it intrests me.”

“Jealousy lover”

“Not at all. Just as your second pair of ears incase you forget what someone is telling you”

“I see”

“So what did you hear then”

“Uuuhhhh, nothing of intrest”

“That’s where you go wrong. That’s where it all begins. You see at that very moment a lady comes and hands me this coin. As she realizes am on phone, she tries to use signs with a hushed wisper. Ponting her finger down to the floor, she says in a hushed voice. 'It fell when you bumped into the old man.' I wanted to tell her it wasn’t mine but she had turned. I remember thinking to myself it must belong to the Oldman but I can give it to him after getting off the phone”

“So you didn’t return it because this morning it was in your bag.”

“That’s quick judgment. It’s not that I didn’t return it, but I could not return it. When I got off the phone, the old man had gone I tried to look around but failed to find him. I knew I had to go to the hospital before they close to see if the hospital could still go ahead with the operation with the insurance meeting half the cost and me paying off the remaining bill in instalments afterwards.

“So you left?”

“I did. But I told myself that I would go back to make inquiries after Nana’s recovery. And talking about leaving, we should start heading back. It’s becoming dark.”

Chris stood up extending his hand to Lilly to help her up.

The lights were now many from below. He helped her slid her jacket on.

“he Jacket. That’s where I first put the gold coin as I walked away heading for the hospital before I decided to put it in my bag for better safe keeping.”

“And that’s where you found it this morning;”

Lilly slipped her hand through Chris hand as they started slopping down tug falling into pace with him.

“Uuuhmm” she nodded

“Weren’t you supposed to start with this morning.”

“That was before you interrupted me with questions about the gold coin.” She managed a quick laugh

“When I checked the bag for my wallet, I found the gold coin.” She continued. “I finally found the wallet, got out the money and came flipping and pressing the coin. To my amazement, the coin did shine when I pressed It hard. This really got my attention and I kept flipping it around as I walked to the door”

“You were mesmerized by the coin and you left the delivery man waiting at the door?” Chris asked as they came out of the entrance of the cathedral gate to join the many walkers on the lonely path. A man jogging ran past them. And a lady walking her dog looked taken up by the couple walking on the otherside doing flips for which Chris and Lilly were too absorbed into the story to notice anything happening around them.

“I saw you walking up the front door as I was trying to hand the money to the delivery man.”

“No you weren’t there.”

“Yes I was.” Lilly turned to talk to him in a whisper as though the facts she was telling him were classified information. “I didn’t know at that time, but when I pressed the coin, it made me invisible. When I came to deliver the money to the delivery man, he could not see me. That got me angry at him as I thought he was playing pranks on me. Then you showed up. I was excited and tried to explain to you what was happening but the both of you kept cutting in my sentences mid-way.”

“That’s why the delivery man screamed when he saw you.” Chris popped as his widened at the memory

“Yes, his eyes were focused on the doorway but you didn’t see me appearing because your eyes were focused in your wallet to make the payment.”

“So how did you become visible again?” asked Chris as he narrowed his eyes trying to process what he was being told. If it hadn’t been that he knew Lilly enough to figure out when she was joking, he would have burst into laughter at this very moment. But she had an intensity in her eye as she was telling him that she always possessed when she was dealing with something important to her.

“When it seemed to me that both of you couldn’t see nor hear me, I looked at the coin I was holding, and remember how it had shone when I had pressed it hard. Flipping it, I pressed it again but nothing happened, I flipped it again on the opposite side of the one I had first pressed and it shone again.”

That’s when you appeared.” Chris exclaimed excitedly

“Yes” Lilly said as she turned again too continue walking

They both fell into silence. Chris was trying to process the validity of the story he had been told. He had gone at Lilly’s house in the morning to pick her up and take her to the hospital on his way to work. He had found the delivery man who had told him he was waiting for Lilly to make the payment but it was more than five minutes since she had gone in. the delivery man had screamed in his ears calling out his God when he had seen Lilly but never mentioned any other thing. “Why hadn’t Lilly said anything to him that morning?”

She had seemed lost in her thought and worried that morning and he had not wanted to say anything to her thinking it was the anxiety of having her Nana’s small bowel resection operation that day. Due to Her Nana’s previous operations and age, the operation might have some complications,” she had told her the previous day.

They reached a more crowded area as Lilly was about to speak and upon her better judgement, she chose to keep quiet. They reached the section of the road where they were supposed to branch and far up was a sign of an insurance company. It caught Chris’ attention just before they branched to the road leading to the hospital back entrance.

“Tell me about the insurance manager;s office. You told me earlier you were their without their permission”

“You remember how I told you the manager had been so insensitive to all my justifications for the all insurance claim cover up. And that I had found many other people the first day complaining about him, I decided to pay him avisit after I couldn’t handle the pressure in the operational theatre.”

“So you had been in the theatre as well”

“Sure. But I was agonized to think that Nana could have gone through this alittle earlier had the insurance attended to our request earlier on.”

“So you went for pay back?”

“That was the idea. But when I entered the manager’s office invisible from my entrance in the building, I had a change of mind” Lilly laughed remembering how she had mastered her new found invisibility power in the ladies’ lavatory. She would go into one of the rooms, press the coin’s head, come out to mimic ladies who were putting on makeup, go back inside to flip the coin and press it on the tail and come out to say hi as politely as she could to the ladies in the mirror. She was trying to wash off the anxiety before she could go see her grandma off to the operation.

I looked as the manager signed out before receiving a call from his wife. It seemed his wife had petitioned for a divorce and she wanted to take custody of the children. I thought how it was a good idea for this woman that I had never met to be the one to take custody of such an insensitive man’s children. At that moment I remembered that I had come to create havoc for him in his office or better yet get some claims approved without his knowledge. I recalled why I was doing this and I told myself it was for Nana. This very Nana for whom I was doing all this was in hospital fighting for her life and here I was tring to destroy’s aman’s life who was a father and was about to lose his children.I just left the room.” Lilly fell silent as she remembered tears rolling down her eyes in that office and quesioning herself how had she turned to be so wicked. she had known at that instant that had she done anything to harm him in regards to his work, some one was to fire him, he wasn't his own boss, he was just following rules and procedures.

Chris wanted to ask the same question but he knew her silence described more than she told him. Instead of judging her for which it seemed she had already done for herself he rather kept silent.

“Hello Lilly.” One of the nurses at the Ward reception called out to her. “it’s good to see you again”

“Hello nurse” Lilly called back.

They had reached the hospital and entered the ward in which Lilly’s Nana was admitted. After the surgery that lasted almost six hours, the nurses had brought her back to the ward asleep only to wake up a few minutes later as Lilly held her hand. She had been prohibited to drink or eat and was going to be administered on fluids for the first forty-eight hours. Lilly kept her company as she tried to forbid her from talking to no avail as he had been advised to rest. Within an hour or so, she fell asleep again.

Lilly let go of Chris’ hand as they neared the room in which Nana was. Just before the entrance to the room, Chris stopped leaving Lilly to continue alone.

“She is still sleeping” the nurse coming out of the room told her

“Thanks” she called back closing the door behind her.

Afew minutes later, she was back in the corridor to find Chris.

“How is she?”

“Asleep, everything seems to be normal.”

“Doctor Lilly, when can we have Nana out of the hospital?” he inquired playfully

“Don’t joke about that, I could never make it out of medical school”

“Ouch,” he snapped playing heartbroken. “That’s such an insult, my fiancé has a very high I.Q”

“Oh, really. But she can’t stand the sight of blood and cutting through people’s flesh.” She spoke with disgust

“And how could she have known this.’

“Today in the operation theatre.” She pulled his hand to make him seated on the bench that was by the wall of the corridor.

“When my Nana was taken to the theatre, I kept waiting pacing up and down. I remember trying to pray, but all I could do was continuously whisper the same four words. I could not take it anymore, so I got out the gold coinand went the bathroom…”

“And you entered the operation room. Chris said in disbelief

“Yes I did.”

“The operation had just began or so it seemed. There was quietness in the room, it was as if the operation was done by robots. One of the medics seemed to be reading the surgeon’s mind as he handed him different items as he held out his hand without a word or they have worked together countless times to know what they need at every step of the way. My grandma was lying unconsciously on the table with her stomach carefully cut opened. The surgeon had miniature light adjacent to his forehead and there was another with a camera. They had so many small tools about them.” It was a laparoscopic surgery. She remembered the doctor telling her. “as I stood by watching, unable do a thing, my mind choose to run for solace just like so many times. As my mind walked through the memory streets, it chose to hover around an incident when I was a helpless eight-year-old failing to cope with the fact of losing my mum. There I was in my all pinkish bedroom staring at the green stars on the ceiling holding Fetty-my favorite doll- so tightly that I would have suffocated her to death had she been breathing. With every passing day, I felt my world close in. then I saw her, for there she was as she had been for all these night when I would walk up to my room to go to sleep; leaning over the door hinge holding the door knob in her right hand looking and watching me with love and fear at the same time. This lady that looked so much like my late mother but just a little bit older always started me when she seemed to just appear unannounced. She came and sat on the hedge of my child sized bed holding my hand and squeezing it tightly, holding me on both shoulders, she turned me to look straight in her eyes; “she is up there, always watching over you.” Looking up out the window as though to emphasize the exact location of my late mum’s dwelling place. “and when you sleep, she is always watching over you, no matter whether you can’t see her, you must believe she is always with you.” I always believed and it gave me such a hope to face another day and now there I was standing hoping that my grandma would take her own advice.

“believe”, I found myself whispering. I wanted to tell her what she had told me but I wasn’t sure if I believed it anymore? Here I was invisible to the set of surgeon and medics around yet I couldn’t see the other person I had been told was always around though unseen to my naked eye.”

A pair of nurses rushed to a nearby room, just to stop at the door to let the doctor go in first who had been following a couple of steps behind them. They were responding to an emergency call by the caretaker of the patient in the said room. The lady who had called them was forced out of the room as the medical staff congested it to help the patient.

The woman who seemed to be in her late thirties was hysterical in tears. Lilly got up sympathizing with her. She looked to be the professional no nonsense type if you found her outside this situation that was depriving her of all self-respect and dignity. Lilly felt touched by the woman’s emotional outburst as it came to her attention that the patient inside was the woman’s mother- her only child’ she stood up to go and comfort her. When she tapped on the woman, she looked at her as though she minimized her younger age but with pain and fear cutting at her heart, she embraced her so tight like someone who shared her own grief. Lilly knew exactly how she felt, having not known her father, Lilly had lost her mother at a tender age and had remained with her grandmother her only near relation as far as she knew. That very relation was here lying in the bed recovering from a surgery. She had been on the verge of breaking down all through the operation with no one to hold onto that hadn’t it been her mischievous adventures with the gold coin, she would have broken down before the operation came through.

Chris had managed to go to the Cafeteriar and come back with some coffe but it seemed no one was willing to take him on the offer at that moment.

Minutes later, the doctor came out with one other nurse leaving the other behind.

“Is she fine?”

“She will be okay. The nurse is administering some medicine and fluids. She will need to rest awhile and try not to get her tired”

“Ofcourse”

The doctor walked away just before the second nurse came out.

“Can I go in”

“Let her rest for some time now”

Lilly guided the woman to the bench and taking one of the coffee cups from Chris, she handed it to her. She was so lost to even mumble a thank you.

“I need to make a phone call” the woman speedily got to her toes taking off in the opposite direction of the room where her mother was laying.

Lilly felt sad watching her leave imaging what she was going through with no relative or friend beside her. She was glad for the man that was sited at her side holding her hand. Even though there was no relative to share the apprehension of having Nana in the hospital for more than a week, she knew Chris would always be there for her. How stupid of her to have called off their engagement earlier on.

She remembered how excited she had been after Nana had come back from the operation room and fallen asleep at ease. She had gone home to collect a few things and on her way back thought of going to Chris’s workplace to see if he could go back with her at the hospital to keep her company before he retired for the day.

“Am glad you’re here.” She muttered

“Am glad you took me back.”

“Don’t remind me. I had thought of pulling a prank on you yet I ended up being the fool." She squirmed

“Did the receptionist see you come in at the office?”

“No. I found the lift empty and that’s when I decided to play the prank on you before I told you about the coin. I pressed the coin in the elevator to acquire the invisibility effect. As I stepped out of the lift, she saw the door beyond the reception leading to the different departments swinging as though some one had just used it. I reached a little late as it closed. So I waited on the side for someone to open it as I did not want to attract the receptionist’s attention. A woman came out talking on phone. She seemed she was giving directions to someone who was coming at the offices. Just as she came out the door before it could close, I pushed it further open to enter without making contact with the woman. Excited, I lifted up my eyes to scan if you were sitted at your desk, that’s when I saw you.” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. “when I saw you kissing your workmate.” She finally said gulping.

“Oh no. We didn’t kiss. I told you she kissed me. Kathy can testify to that.” He jerked out in his defense

“Did you really need to bring Kathy to persuade me;”

“You had refused to listen to me. And I thought may be Kathy was your source of information. But come to think of it now, it was all that gold coin.

“Don’t blame it on the coin, you should tell your female employees to learn respect.”

“Look at who is talking about respect. Spying on peoples’ lives”

“That was harmless joke. Not a bet of deluded women who want to prove their fearlessness by kissing a traditional workmate who is off the shelf.”

“Your getting worked up”

“She needs a bitting to straighten her up”

“Where is that coin?” inquired Chris apprehensively, worried for her workmate.

As sweet as Lilly was, when she stood to fight for what was hers, she was a wounded lion.