I am too much and yet still far too empty. I hate that society has made hugs a greeting: too informal and much too insincere. I need a real hug, one that is open and secure. I want to hide under someone's wings. I want a hug, the kind where the tears can fall quietly onto their shoulder like the first snowflakes daintily slipping to the ground. I want to be held: I'm so cold, and yet not the type a jacket can fix. I long for closeness. I want someone to look into my eyes, but to really look. I want them to see all that I am and all that I am not yet and all that I will never be. I want to be seen more than anything, the real me, even what I push away from the surface. And I want them to see all of me-- my hurt, my fears, my insecurity-- and I want a hug.

I am too much and yet still far too empty. I hate that society has made hugs a greeting: too informal and much too insincere. I need a real hug, one that is open and secure. I want to hide under someone's wings. I want a hug, the kind where the tears can fall quietly onto their shoulder like the first snowflakes daintily slipping to the ground. I want to be held: I'm so cold, and yet not the type a jacket can fix. I long for closeness. I want someone to look into my eyes, but to really look. I want them to see all that I am and all that I am not yet and all that I will never be. I want to be seen more than anything, the real me, even what I push away from the surface. And I want them to see all of me-- my hurt, my fears, my insecurity-- and I want a hug.

In another life

The interlude

Would be the prelude

The prelude

Would be the amplitude

The amplitude

Would be the fortitude

The fortitude

Would hold

the Denouement

But

In this life

The prelude

Was the prelude

The amplitude

Was Aruba

And the fortitude

Was just the fortissimo

And I

Sit

In a bar

Alone

All the Month of May, and March, your birth month, are to me Mementos in our family calendar. Ever since your passing, not a day goes by that I do not think of you, but in these the Moments are that much more with Emphasis.

Mom you were my best friend. In ways, you will always remain as such. After all, I still talk to you as if you were right here.

In your Homemade pink floured apron, and the kerchief you wore over your silken hair, I can picture you advising me as you juggled things on the Stove, in the Oven and tended the Store front, and us three children. Mom, I've no idea how you did it. You would remind me to look at the simple things for Inspiration.

Nobody bakes and cooked like you did. I have the Recipes!! and neither I nor my wife (God Bless the Angel for trying!) can replicate. I know it was something to do with the Exactness of how things were done, not the pinch of this or that but How. Whether sprinkled in or rolled or in one clump or over Time. Or how Hot or Cold. You knew. And I'm sure you told me too. I forget. I have learned that Lesson though.

I'm trying to pass that on to the Grandchildren. That Thoughtfulness. That Thoroughness. And that Toughness.

Thank you Mom. It's that No Fail pie crust I'm craving now. No matter what you put in there is was always Right. Perfect. Comfort and Conversation. Just add You and Me, and a pot of Tea, with its yellow cozy.

To you Mom.

All our Love,

Keith

Dear Stepmother,

When you first came into my life, I'll be honest I did not want to give you a chance because I wished my parents would have been together. I soon realized that life was not going to go the way I wanted it to but yet I still did not want to even give you a chance. When I went to dads for spring break every morning, I would look out the window to see if your car was there and I would be sad if it was and happy if it wasn't. Over the year I slowly started to realize that I needed to give you a chance, so I did. I thought you were too strict and mean so I really did not look at you as a mom until the day you and dad said that I could live with you all. The day you both said I could move in with you I began to realize you cared because you knew I did not like living with my birth mom, I saw that you loved me like I was your own. After I moved in you were still strict, but I soon realized that it was because you wanted me to succeed in life. I started calling you mom because you showed me and treated me like your daughter. when I had my seizers, I called for you after because as my mom I knew you would take care of me. You made sure I took my medicine and that I was taking care of myself. You refused to give up on me when I wanted to give up on myself. I would not be where I am today if it was not for you mom. You are my mother, and I would not have it any other way. Happy Mother's Day and thank you for loving me like your own.

Love,

Your Daughter.

Dear Mom,

I hope you know that I try my hardest to be easy to get along with. I know you want me to be a carbon copy of you, and I try my best for you to see me as just that. I know it is not me, but I have given up on the possibility of you seeing my perspective. And that’s okay. I can’t blame you for problems caused by your own mother.

I love you.

Dear Dad,

You're my savior, you became the mom I needed when mine left. You may not have known much, but I didn't either, and we learned together. When I needed to dress up for my recital in first grade, I wanted a high ponytail, you didn't know how to do it so it looked slick, you felt so bad. So you went on facebook and saw a dad do it with a vacuum. I couldn't stop laughing because it was so silly, but you did my hair and I loved it. When I got my period for the first time you looked up videos and asked all the women in our family how to help me. You knew I was gonna have to live and grow up without my mom, so you took on her role, you did everything a mom would do.

In most peoples life they have a mom and dad, whether they are together or not, in my lifetime I lost my mom, I didn't have one, and you stepped up. You became the mom I needed. Happy mother's day Dad, I love you.

anxious and bitter

a pill makes it better

but God doesn't just

work on neurotransmitters