Peer Pressures
Sweet desires
Dangers and bitter liquids
Little girls who are liars.
Peer pressure will put you on a stretcher
Guys with bad intentions
And the bed is where he lead her
Youngsters and peer pressures, all leading each other to adventures
But these adventures are false reality that will one way or another
Turn into a nightmare that you won’t escape
And addictions
They seem so small but they aren’t fictions From far aways in books
So they’ll take it
And they’ll take it again
I may be addicted but at least I fit in
Golden locks deceiving me and my perception
Trust broken with manipulation
Little games we play
But no longer.
I forfeit.
Not because I am intimidated
Not cause I am scared of losing
But because I am tired.
Tired of having all this toxic shit.
One second you are fine, the next you slap me in the face and “oops sorry that was an accident”
But I am done.
I’ve had my fair share.
And
I
Am
Done.
The sun, the moon
A picture perfect photo.
With complications, told in this storybook.
I have yet to read the rest
Watch the story unfold
Maybe some fairytales are real.
I will read, I will see
What the authors will choose
An endless fairytale, never to unfold?
The happy ever after?
Or the book due? Ready to be taken up, never read again?
Some choices are in need to be made
Are books and stories and fairytales true?
Thorns and roses.
Roses and 4 leaf clover.
Lucky or painful love?
Or just plain out thorns.
A trickster’s mask as an angel up above
He defends the thief and suffocates the innocent victim.
He falls for the bastard’s little act.
Thinking he is doing everything for the good.
He mocks her, telling her that she is lying.
Things like this is why little girls and boys don’t ever learn to tell someone.
Because sometimes people just can’t listen.
A simple wildflower
Watching a wildfire.
Helplessly watching everything crumble and fall.
A dangerous eclipse.
Burning each and every path.
It’s painful to see
The destruction that love can make.
So many beautiful things, wilting and falling
Build up a tower
Just to bring it down.
I can’t tell whether I was really seeing the sun or just blind from her light.
And if I really saw the moon in the morning sky or if it was just a glare in this picture perfect photo.
His hexing eyes
Casting spells that entrance me
No.
I can’t fall in.
But every time he calls my name.
Every time he looks my way.
Every time he talks to me.
I get lost.
I slip back off the cliff.
I just know I will have a hard landing.
Unless magically he catches me...
Unless...
No.
He’d never. Never feel the same.
But
Maybe. Hope grips at my heart.
Desperately trying to rewrite my mind to think in positive scripts.
I’m supposed to be the spider. Spinning the web. Not the carcass in the web, waiting for their acceptance.
Silly stupid me. Letting him pull the strings and control me, I am not a puppet.
Yet he gets to walk my mind whenever he likes.
You whisper
Toxic.
Toxic reality spat into my head.
Such a smart ass you are.
I would fight you.
But you’re so tiny and weak compared to me.
You couldn’t stand a chance.
I don’t fight others who aren’t my size.
I don’t like hurting others.
But you do.
Sticks and stones may break my bones.
But your words are razor blades injecting poison into me to sustain my pain.
Yet I hold that smile, high and proud.
You don’t just get to tear me down.
My non-existent presence will haunt you.
So you can hold your Medusa’s tongue
And watch me be happier and with less snakes slithering around.
Disappointed.
I wish you were mad at me.
Disappointment is worse.
You disapprove of everything I am working on.
When I say I am working on it, you tell me it’s not good enough.
It hurts me.
Not being good enough.
Not.
Good.
Enough.
Ever.
What will it take?
I have spent my whole life.
My whole life on making sure everyone else is happy.
With who I am, with whatever happiness I had.
Fake smiles is all I have left.
I am happy for only so long.
Until it all comes down.
But there you go, I will be your therapist and help you. I will be here for you.
You won’t be there for me.
I want to tell everybody but I won’t.
I will expect someone to come to my rescue.
Me a damsel in distress.
Hard to imagine.
Hardened to the point I can’t cry.
Can’t cry for help.