Who We Love

The night swallows us, a gaping cavern without teeth. Even without the threat of chomping jaws, it is an uneasy feeling, and I cannot help but curl my fingers a little tighter around Jeremy’s arm as we walk together beneath the pressing dark of the hollow city streets. Clouds cover the moon, but Jeremy says that’s good. It means it will be harder to spot us.

There is a Wall, and Jeremy says if we can get to it, we can be together.

It is the first promise he’s ever made that I might not fully believe.

The chill of autumn nips at my nose, the only part of me not covered. I wear a long, black coat that reaches almost to my ankles, a scarf pulled tight over my chin, and my short hair is tucked beneath a gray beanie . Not my usual style by any means, but then, it’s prudent that no one recognizes us. Jeremy tugs insistently at my arm, and I let him pull us around the corner into an alley. A few moments later, I hear the low rumble of a truck rolling past where we’d been walking, a long beam of white light sweeping over the street. I stay pressed against the wall trying to keep my breathing steady. Though he would never admit his own fear, I can feel Jeremy trembling slightly against me.

The truck passes, and we wait a few more moments before moving back onto the main street, my fingers only just grazing Jeremy’s as we pick up the pace a little bit.

“Almost there,” Jeremy whispers, reaching up to squeeze the back of my neck in reassurance. I nod, and a few minutes later, the Wall comes into view. It is even taller and uglier than it looks on television.

“We should’ve split up,” I insist, not for the first time. “We should’ve gone separately.”

Jeremy shakes his head, slowing his pace as we approach. The Wall is not visibly guarded. It doesn’t need to be anymore. People are supposed to know better. “No me without you, remember?” he smiles. “If one of us made it and the other didn’t, I…” he pauses, shoving a hand through his already disheveled hair. “It had to be together.”

“Okay,” I agree easily. Despite my fear and my insistence that this escape plan is fruitless, I know I feel the same. I know I am not whole without him. Above my head, the gaping dark laughs at my ignorant hope.

“You first,” Jeremy insists. We’ve made our way to the end of the sidewalk until we are both just a few inches from the stone Wall. Despite its size, it is not well-made. Pieces of stone stick out at random intervals, and halfway up is a small ledge rimmed with barbwire. The second half of the Wall transitions from stone to chain-link. If we can make it that far, the climb becomes significantly easier. But neither of us knows what awaits us on the other side. We are told it is a wasteland, a place for the outcasts and the savages who threaten the ‘Perfect Lifestyle’ cultivated inside the city. And it is true that life has improved over the last several decades. There are no more guns. There is no more petty theft. But even so, Jeremy and I have both seen the violence that persists inside the Wall, the hatred that does more than skitter along its edges. We will take our chances on the Other Side.

I examine the wall, trying to figure out how best to make the climb. But before I can think for too long, the night lights up.

Sirens blare from every side and long, sweeping beams of red and white light tear across my half-covered face, blinding me. I cry out in surprise, shielding my eyes from the glare. Beside me, Jeremy stiffens for only a moment before he is shouting at me, his fingers laced together at knee-height in front of me.

“Go!” he screams, nodding down at his interlocked hands. “Push yourself up and go!”

“You’ll be right behind me?” I scream back, panic pushing against every bone and muscle.

“No me without you,” Jeremy promises.

I push off from his hands, pulling myself up along the wall and losing my hat in the process. Beside me, Jeremy is climbing, too.

This is a violation, the alarm begins to blare. Escape is impossible. Return to your home and await punishment. This is a violation….

“Keep going,” Jeremy growls beside me, surpassing me with his next foothold. I try desperately to keep up.

“Careful!” I warn above the noise and the glaring lights. We are reaching the barbwire in the middle of the Wall, and I begin to unwind my scarf from my neck, wrapping it around my fingers before continuing the climb. Beside me, Jeremy continues his own ascent, letting out a few small gasps when the barbwire opens up shallow cuts along his hands. We reach the chainlink, and my head begins to pound in anticipation. We are so close.

I reach the top first, though Jeremy is only a few steps behind, his hands leaving bloody streaks along the chainlink. I swing my leg around to the other side of the Wall, and that is when Jeremy slips.

His foot skids against a spot of blood and he yells out in surprise as all of his body weight is suddenly transferred to his ruined hands.

“Jeremy!” I scream, reaching for him. Somehow, he manages to hold on long enough to get his feet back under him, pulling himself up until he can reach my hand. I pull with everything I have, exhausted muscles screaming along with the still-blaring sirens. Looking down for the first time, I can see that a crowd has begun to gather below us. I recognize a few drowsy neighbors and old acquaintances, all staring up at us from where both of us now sit, straddling the top of the Wall. There are no police officers anymore. Everyone is supposed to keep everyone else in line.

For a long, frozen moment, no one speaks. Even the sirens seem to fade into the background as Jeremy and I look down at the people gaping at us. Before I can react, Jeremy is kissing me.

We have never kissed where anyone else would see. No one is allowed to know, and part of me is shrieking to pull away, to run in the other direction. But we are at the top of the Wall, and we do not know what awaits us on the Other Side, and the only thing I have ever wanted to do was kiss the boy I loved. And so I do.

After a too-short while, Jeremy pulls away, smiling at me. Below us, I can hear people murmuring in horror, their faces slack and pale, caught in the reflections of the red and white lights.

Jeremy’s spine straightens as his gaze shifts to the people down below, determination suddenly clear on his face. “This is not wrong,” Jeremy shouts to the dumbfounded crowd. “Love is never wrong. Don’t let them take it away from us!”

And with that, Jeremy swings his other leg over the Wall, finding his footing on the other side. He holds out a hand to me, waiting. I hesitate for a moment longer, looking down at the people below.

Escape is impossible, the siren still screams. Return to your home and await punishment. This is a violation…

“Trevor?” Jeremy urges, thrusting his hand out even further. “We gotta go.”

I take Jeremy’s hand and haul myself the rest of the way over the Wall.