Today I'm feeling pretty shitty, sat pathetically wallowing in my own self pitty

Stuffed on kebab because well, it seemed a good idea at the time

Now I just feel worse so I'll moan in rhyme

Sick of holding up this fat body day in day out

Sick of thoughts rolling through my head I wish I could just scream and shout

Sick of everyone wanting a piece of my body and time

Like I'm just a shell ..but yeah I'll smile tellem all I'm doing just fine

I'm not!

I'm pissed off I'm annoyed,I'm fed up and done in

And if you ask me what's wrong I probably wouldn't know where to begin

So out with the tub of ice cream because fuck it I can't even have a drink

Can't just lose myself for a bit without having to think.

Meh!

I string my words together

one sentence after another

And yes it's true they may not always rhyme

sometimes it's just scribbled thoughts in my head that need saving in time

something short and sweet sometimes its goes on and on and I force the pen to stop

sometime I screw it all up, *sighs* these words what an absolute flop

sometimes I hope that my words touch the heart of you, Maybe a warm fuzzy feeling inside if perhaps you're feeling a little blue

sometimes I hope someone can relate, when I write woeful lines, when the night has stolen my sleep and it's just ooh so late.

Life inside me once grew

You a part of me and me a part of you

So cruelly taken, just like that.. gone!

I held you in my arms for as long as I could and I never wanted to let you go,

If only I could place you back next to my heart so you could continue to grow

I failed to get you here safe and sound, and when they said your heart had stopped my entire world came tumbling to the ground.

in less than a second my heart shattred and me a trembling wreck ...

please say this aint so.....

Now you're my angel so tiny and oh so sweet playing up there

I can feel you in the night air, when the silence falls and my heart aches that bit more your tiny kiss brushes my cheek,

your little hand is the breeze that wipes my tears when I'm feeling weak

I'll see you again one day and I will hold you so tight but for now sweet angel ..

goodnight

19/1/2017 your wings

I could go and get a coffee, rather than tossing and turning..YAWNING!

It won't be long until the birds sing and welcome the light of morning

I should be fast off in my dreamworld all snuggled and warm,

I didn't plan on having thoughts keeping rudely distracted til dawn.

In fact I didn't realise I had any thoughts that needed pondering, at 10.35pm all was calm ready for bed,

But noo not tonight this brain of mine had other plans instead!

from feeling comfortably sleepy to making sense of all the nonsense the thoughts sneaking up on me had said.

Well I really don't think a coffee will do

fuelling myself to.only be awake another hour or two .... maybe I'll.just lay here and count some sheep,wish the moon good night and will myself to sleep

here's hoping .. night all.

well i was kindly reminded of my other friends

the type of paper I twist at the ends

I'm not talking of words or plots,

more along the lines of plants and pots

The absolute necessity for The delicate construction of a master build..

Lay back .. spark that ....... chilled!

Without those papers at my side I'm not sure what I'd do, not one for the bong it has to be said, left coughing up me lungs .. feeling dead... haha!

But that lick n stick magic n roll is just up my street, sharing with friends,

music just bop boppin to the beat

But when the papers burnt and reached their end.. well that is where my mind begins to roam ....

Thinking of all the wonders there could be..like sweets,crisps and cheerios .. hmm... at one with my munchies maybe!

So beautiful to me

most wonderful I ever did see...

A mouth watering temptation

an absolute sensation

the most glorious creation ..

Perfect medication

after the night befores destination

fuelled with intoxication!

As I devour this sandwhich made of bacon

This hangover cure needs no more explanation !! :

I have a mental block.. um .. chickybock

what rhymes .. sock

oh God Ive lost my flow .. um ... dumdiddydoe.. what rhymes.. lost my mojo

Ahhh my words are stuck... chuckychuck.. ummm what rhymes.. oh f*ck!

The frustration, desperation loss of concentration.. waiting in anticipation to find my lost inspiration... umm

I’m stuck!!!

Too many thoughts trying to get out all at once ... thoughts gone wild stand back guys and form an orderly Que!!

Wait your turn I will get to you!

I have a mental block.. um... chickybock

what rhymes ......SOCK!! arrrgh.

( If you get it you GET it )

I’m his naughty little secret knealt down before him, hidden in the middle of the night.

His eyes piercing down on me never losing sight.

Surrendering my body to him drowning in his touch

Ready to sin under the moonlit sky

With no regrets nor questions why ...

I could feel the devil himself watching my every move

“That’s right my naughty girl” he whispered through the trees,” You have surrendered to the temptation I placed before you and I’ve brought you to your knees”

His whisper left my body trembling and wet, my soul now dirty with betrayal, only to slip back through the night hiding my sins behind the smile I use as a veil..

Nobody knows and nobody will, and I’ll sin again like I’m forever addicted to the thrill

You see,

The devil touched me in the most deliciously inappropriate way ..

Now I’m just a good girl gone bad and I fear it’s too late for me to pray......

Hello there Mr Moon it feels as though it's been hours since I saw you last

The day was just too long

I couldn't wait to run and sit by the tide

Just to see you admire your own reflection

Oh how I love to watch you pull the Ocean to and fro, gently lapping the waves onto the dampened sand at my feet

The water tickling my toes, it's just the perfect treat

I hope you don't but I'll just sit with you for a while, I know you're not one for words but your presence itself makes me smile

Now Mr Moon just before I go I'll be sure to wish you goodnight

But would you kindly walk me home and guide me under your gentle light?

, Goodnight my friend and thank you, I'm all tucked up in bed. it's time for me to rest my weary little head

I can't wait till I see you again.

I can't wait till I see you again, I'll be back

I used to look up to the stars and pray for you

I asked them to make you feel how much

I needed you.

I'd sit on my bed each night and cry hoping the breeze would catch my breath and deliver you my sigh

My tears would roll in desperation, my eyes pleading with forces above, please tell him to save me... tell him he's the one I love

I loved you so much.. you way up there on that pedestal, you came and saved me and heard my cries, oh and I loved so much more , yet you...

you've been nothing but cruel.

I know that this wasn't ever love because love shouldn't feel so sad or alone

I now ask the Stars to find me a way to a happier home