Dear Diary, December 31st, 20XX

Last night I had the dream again. It's the same, as always. Wonderful happiness, laughter, addicting. And so many colors.

I hate to love it, to want it. Yet I do.

I desire it, more than anything in the world, I crave it it......and that is my secret.

I hate to wake up, knowing that once I do I will have yet again to marvel at how different my reality is.

To question, why?

....and where?

Where do the beautiful colors come from?

Where does such light come from?

After all, no one knows better than me that my mind is a reflection of my black and white, dreary life.

Dull.

Yes, that is my secret, that in this dullness, or rather against this dullness, I do have a desire. I do desire.

......exhilarating.....

What a thought! I desire.