For ten years I wore the same shoes, two basic colors; black or khaki.

They were heavy, sometimes cumbersome, but my feet were never cold or damp.

I treated those boots with respect, when they got wet I would dry them with my hair dryer, when we were in the bush, they were ignored, because we had other things to worry about: like staying alive.

They got muddy, wet, uncomfortably soggy, but I still had my feet!

Having feet and boots are important when you have to haul ass in another direction.

Don’t get me wrong: I loved my M- 60 sub- machine weapon, it saved my life too, but if my feet couldn’t carry me out of danger, my M- 60 could kill anyone and did!

So I guess my boots were my armor and my M-60 was my support, either way;

I wouldn’t be here today without either of them!

But be informed:

A woman that fought in Vietnam, and lived with Nazi’s in Berlin Germany, and served with pride is forgotten.

We come home broken, our minds are in flight or fight.

I thank God for my feet, cuz I still have them, although they hurt at times, as far as flight; well that becomes a habit.

Women- really brave women, they cuss worse than men, they put people in their place when they walk on their toes, but if by chance you love a woman that carries this history with her;

Be kind, love her when she needs it; don’t make promise:ever!

And you probably won’t even notice she’ll never truly love you,

Because she wore combat boots, walked through tons of mud, took care of her feet:

Because she’ll someday take a walk, with you or within you!

Depends on what weapons you like!!!!

And you really need to know how to use them, women aren’t show and tell, they’re all show!!!

Remember she’s about God and Country!!!

Then you might be safe!!!

Whoorah!

My favorite person, Maya once said

“Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt”

Now there is a philosophy I have never heard before;

I am trying to wrap my mind around this statement:

Is it about people that try to give you things they don’t have?

Or is it a realization that people can’t give you what you need because they don’t possess it?

Like love, or respect or even gratitude!

I have lived a life of giving, to those who have nothing.

But now I see what she meant:

Those that have nothing are better off, in the aspect of heart.

You can’t ask someone to love you when they have none;

You can’t give away what you have and be left without!

It seems true that the world revolves, and brings us back to where we started;

With no more than what we had.

When you reach out to love someone, if they never were given any, what would they do with it?

If they never had it?

So is it an empty gesture to try and help others lives better by sharing what you have?

Or better to let them find what they need on their own?

To me this has become a crossed edged sword!

If I have nothing to offer someone I can’t help them;

So maybe helping someone is not the best way to help;

Maybe motivating them to get for themselves is all the best thing,

For them to learn to depend on themselves, not others, and not for anything from others!

I believe it’s called self sufficientcy.

Wow this woman just rocked my world!

You left me years ago, but my music sings my love.

Seven years together and now I can’t talk to you or see your face.

I came home and you were gone, but you took your wedding ring!

So many years have gone by and I listen to the old love songs, all those songs that say how I loved you ;

My heart can’t release what we shared, I have wondered why you left, I treated you so special, I listened to every word that you spoke, I listened to your dreams and I helped a few happen!

You came to me; when I first met you at the Disco in Germany.

You were the one that seduced me, and you loved me all over and I did the same.

We were great lovers, we talked about everything, we found places we could go, eating the outrageous pastries the German coffee shop made.

There we were in the War, Berlin was beautiful and cruel at the same time!

But we found each other, and loved so constant.

Some days I pray you’ll find me, or vice versa!

If you ever need to find me, listen for my dropping tears!

I still love you, I will go to my grave loving you!

Find me! Please!

Have you ever taken the time to re-evaluate your life?

I haven’t written for some time because my Sky is falling!

First it started with evaluating people that say their my friends;

I was taken to depression and in my disbelief I found I had two.

One is an elderly woman who is 91years full of discovering who , what and where God was!

At times in her new revaluations of what really God was, what he did, it has never given her peace.

And then there’s me, who has no idea, but I take my comfort in just knowing God is there, that he listens when I talk to him!

Yet with that bond, I know He listens, and hears me!

My second friend, he doesn’t make me think, he makes me feel!

He’s a beautiful and loved man, with common sense with a large dash of living life on life’s terms, has taken tragedies and walked through the fire!

Resilient, happy with his life, his partner, he’s on fire when it comes to living life!

I will never know why his life fits him so perfectly,

Yet he takes time to call me. to listen to my many failings, to my inspirations, to know I have a rough road happening in my life right now.

I may die soon, or so the Cancer Society tells me.

I am afraid but know I will rest peacefully because my friend has stepped up and told me he would come to me, he would take my dogs and cat to his home and make them his.

Finally after serving in two disasterous wars for my country, my old army friend steps up to take all my dying problems on and has given me solace in knowing my family ( my two dogs and my cat)

and love them as his own!

Friends, sometimes you find you really have them!

But in my life, there has very few!

So this is dedicated to my friend Perry Foreman who has served in the same War I did, loved me then as still loves me now!

One friend is worth more than all those saying they are!

Be careful, pick wisely!

Blessings to All!!!!

Roxanne Hazelton

Some how I don’t know how to begin;

What goes through my mind when facing my own

Death?

Now, being faced with a medical issue;

The Specialist called, time to take another look at my spotted lung.

I know where it came from, I know the Doctors that found it, took no action.

So right now I want to scream, I am scared,

Being a soldier in Vietnam, the taste and smell of Agent Orange, the choking, our bandanas were what we had to stifle the taste and smell, the choking that couldn’t stifle your cough!

Is it my time to deal with dying because of it?

I don’t want treatments, I am to tired of fighting to live:

I just want drugs, to stay high, to let go of my mind that remembers,

I am ready,

Many years ago burial at sea was a beautiful thing,

They place your shroud bodies in their wooden boat; set it on fire and pushed it into the sea:

Yeah,

That’s what I want!!!

I pass these momentos hanging on my Wall,

I ask myself: is this all I have accomplish in my life?

Paper, medals, frames?

The only solace I receive is terrible memories,

Memories of War, boots on the ground, jumping from Helicopters, eating canned food, bon fires for warmth.

Jumping camp every 6 hours , fighting unknown terrain!

Never sleeping, taking malaria meds, walking in wet combat boots, falling down mud slides!

Getting happy to see a Chopper, hoping it was my turn to go home !

I fought for my country, so did my father,

My life changed after all of this:

I don’t sleep at night, I cry often, my meds don’t touch my sadness .

My PTSD rules my life, I hear about new treatments for cancer and other diseases, because there’s no help for the broken, or Agent Orange exposure!

Was it worth my life to help protect my country?

Yes I am proud to have done my part, as did my father,

But has any of this helped?

My advice today for everyone is:

Live your life to the fullest because yesterday is gone and today maybe your beginning!

Bless All Who Served, alive and dead!!!

Many years ago, during my military service, I went to Berlin, not the free Berlin, the Nazi’s Berlin.

It was quite scary, I never felt safe, neither did anyone else!

Our purpose was to contain the Free Berlin and to protect the liberties of those people.

One of my best memories is when I met a young man named Perry Foreman.

He was a wild child, funny, caring and considerate and Gay!

The women had a special floor of the Barracks, no men allowed!

Except Perry!

He was such a crazy guy, announcing himself on our floor, we would all giggle and welcome him into our rooms!

He was my bright spot in the terrible situation we were all in!

He was bubbly and funny and really cute,

And very much loved by many women!

Perry and I, shared a familiar life, we were both gay!

Today that man is still in my life, we don’t see each other, he has a home in Florida, with his lover of many years, yet I met him in 1976, and today in 2012 we are still best of friends.

We talk for hours, our love life, our illnesses, our animals, our accomplishments, our crazy shit we went through in Berlin.

It’s so beautiful to me that all these years, when people step in and out of your life , that you have one that’s always been there, it’s really a love story!

So I am dedicating this to my friend Perry, after all these years he loves me more every time we talk, and I, feel the same!!!

Old friends are the best friends you’ll ever have, so call them or write them, don’t lose their shining light in your life!!!

Love them more, appreciate their presence in your life!

I do!

Well my friend you have joined the Angels in the Sky;

Your family didn’t call to tell me, a Friend of mine did!

I love you, you have been my Hero for the last 3 years,

I loved it when you would come have coffee, some days you were quiet, and I gave you your space!

Some days you were happy to play with my dogs,

Some days you would share horrific history of being in Vietnam!

And I loved the days you would share your faith in God through quoting passages from the Bible, it amazed me, you had memorized it!

For all the advice you gave me, for all your history of the military and war, thank you for sharing your life with me;

A Time I will always remember and cherish;

Time to go meet

The Master Upstairs

And be welcomed

Into Heaven!

I will say hi when I talk to God this morning!

I love you my friend,

See you soon!!!!

Many years ago, after living in Garmish Germany, working in a Hotel for my moms friends nephew, I had never been out of the US before. I worked very hard, but got to play on my off days.

Bars and Strambads(restaurant and lake swimming), I became friends with a German girl, we use to party all night, and hard!

One night she was totally out of it, absolutely intoxicated. She barely managed to walk me back to the Hotel I worked in!

So being kind and considerate I ask her if she needed to stay in my room for the night, she agreed, I had two beds in the room so she could have the other one!

I was pretty wasted, so I went to bed, and all of a sudden she got in my bed, she told me she wanted to have sex with me, I said no, but she did anyway:

And she brutally raped me.

After that, on my way back to the USA, it haunted me.

I didn’t like the way she was abusive, but I did like being with a woman!

Where I was finally home I told my mom I was gay, that I liked women sexually, she argued with me about my choice, but she let me live the way I chose!

Being a lesbian was who I was!

Now, I am happy with my life, was a lesbian for 37 years, and not once did anyone love me for me,

Funny my middle name is Gay, but living that life was tough, I have never been with a man, nor do I want to be,

I just want to be what I am;

A Woman!!!

I lost my dad through a divorce with my mom;

I remember always being sad, unless I went to the Zoo down the street.

My mom was my worst loss, I loved her so,

Always being there for me!

When she died I was Alone,

No more talks, no one that understands who I was, except my mom!

My best friend, gone,

But always in my heart and mind!

I miss the Aura of her being!