(Entry 65 - 01.10.2019 )

Bread - symbol of living

When men is stripped of everything

Bread alone still sustain life

Necessity and essential

Of cause, metaphorically speaking

I’m in no position to speak for all cultures

Point is, very little needed to sustain life

But what about the soul?

I can survive on bread alone & be happy

However, bread consumption takes little time

Even if 3 meals a day, plus tea brakes

Then what happens after the stomach fed

Hypothetically, human population can thrive on bread alone

But apparently, it’s far from the truth

Many people talk about suffering & hardship

Seems keeping the mouths fed doesn’t solve all problems

We have minds , and we have souls

They need to be attended as well

Attending those needs can complicate things tramendously

And that complication could lead to human extinction

Many Hollywood movies have convincingly portrait that

By far, no satisfactory solution has been found

among all living things, we pride ourselves for our intelligence

But we seem to be the only one capable of self-destruction

As for me, my life simple enough like bread

I’v done my best to minimise complications

But it takes every ounce of my energy to be a minimalist

Because we are living in a consumption driven society

This consumer culture trains every living brain

Into forever wanting more of everything

And there is no end

Perhaps until the dooms day

(Entry 64 - 24. 09. 2019 )

‘Bread and butter ’

‘Bread-winning ’

Popular expressions about bread

Really is about survival

As for me, for an entire year

I lived on bread daily

What’s so special about that?

But, I’m of Chinese ethnic origin

For a Chinese

A whole year without rice

It’s like cave living

Abnormal, unthinkable, foreign

As for me, I found bread

It started off as basic necessity

Then turned into a social experiment

Culminating as a success story

A story of ‘This Time Last Year ’

Basic necessity - not only bread

But also everything else

My life has reduced to a simple formula

I lived off a small suitcase

I wear the same outfit everyday

I paint the same view from my balcony

I live in a small studio apartment unit

All this for an entire year

And it’s been a success

This minimalist life style

Might just well be feasible anywhere in the world

(Entry 63 - 17. 09. 2019 )

’Kindness in ourselves is the honey

That blunt the sting of unkindness in another ′

Meanspiritedness is obvious

But kindness is dangerous

By the theory of relativity

Meanness usually jumps right out

While kind words & sweet smiles blend in

People are not stupid, they know

But why? We like to trick ourselves

Into a false sense of security

Stay away from meanness - self protection

What nature had intended

Kindness, smiles, words of comfort

Tantalisingly attractive, just like honey

We remember the sweet sensation

And we like to hold on to it

Truth is, this is not what nature had intended

The extreme opposites exist in everything

It’s a phenomenon we must acknowledge

Get familiar with, hopefully embrace

But why? Survival of the fittest

Just as acknowledging the thorns of roses

Tolerating the sting from bees

Being able to handle Meanspiritedness saves lives

Unfortunately, there is no easy way to learn

Neither as pretty as painting a picture

Nor as seranading as playing an instrument

One must face one’s own fears

The fear of losing the existing comfort

The fear of being harshly criticised

The fear of our own mortality in any way

Cold turkey or not, we must face the music

(Entry 62 - 11. 09. 2019 )

′ The mediocre teacher tells

The good teacher explains

The superior teacher demonstrates

The great teacher inspires ′

So they say, and we understand

And I like to add to it -

The bad teacher misleads

The awful teacher destructs

In life, the good, the bad and the ugly

As well as the awful and the nasty

In fact, these are the most common ones

Learning from adversity - life’s essential skill

That is ' each & every way you turn

you hit a wall ′ experience

What to do? Run away?

There is a wall there too

I’v been there, I know

There is no way out

The next immediate thought: survival

Would I make it? What must I do?

The following decisions demonstrates

What you are really made of

Because they are life & death decisions

Should I persist? Should I surrender? Or else?

The moment of truth

Truth about myself even I can’t deny

You know what I did next?

I was so persistent, and head straight to the walls

The very next thing was a miracle

Through the walls I went and arrived on the other side

Not only I survived the last calls

I became this genius thriving in the everlasting eternity

Of cause, I have no objection here

Truth is, now that on this side of the fence

Things are quite the usual, no surprises

I guess I have already faced the ultimate surprise of all - my own mortality

(Entry 61 - 03. 09. 2019 )

Life in general, a learning process

With teachers, without teachers

Academic success has limitations

With good teachers or not

At crawling stage, 1cm at a time

Hand-holding &duck-feeding still works

Once a certain level reached

Self-teaching & self-managing inevitable

Resourcefulness & finance is one thing

Schematic development specifically tailored is another

To do that, one must know what one is doing

No teacher can creep in one’s tummy & read minds forever

Should you find yourself a coach

They would ask what you want

But most of us really don’t know what we want

Then the coaching would have to rely on much guess work

Then, misinterprete, mismanage & misguide

Resulting in misunderstanding, missed opportunities & misfortune

Does that explain so few actually make it to the top

Whereas most still ever so vigorously struggle to make ends meet

As for me, academic experience long gone

But learning process never stopped

At 50, learning is still much of daily working progress

Led by no one, but my own gut instincts

(Entry 60 - 09. 08 2019 )

Painting, fine art, still relevant?

But movies, tv, photography

As a hobby - my craft

Painting is everlasting

Monet, impressionism, struggled

Unpopularity, anonymous exhibitions

His generation, the next & the next

The Avant-garde took its toll

The impressionistic force, took off

Art Nouveau & Arts and Craft movement bears credits

Movements, closely rooted from utilitarian commerce

Profits speaks louder than momentos

Centuries of painting narratives

Generation after generation after generation

The state of perfection has no room for anything less

A bit like ‘American Beauty ’- the movie

Impressionism finally won

So did pop music, Woodstock & computers

But that pursuit of perfection still hanging in the air

Seems we somehow never change

I’v travelled, to many countries

Underneath the differences

We’re all bloody the same

There is no escape

Reality, downtoearthness, cruicial

Perfect commercial bubble kills

My escape - painting on daily basis

In the name of art, I am fleeing

The only justifiable thread

I paint from reality - a real landscape

The breathtaking panaramic view of the city

Helps forgetting about its commercial cruelty

When I come up with a decent painting

Firstly, I -the painter -feel good about myself

Secondly, I feel good about this ‘reality’

The bubble effect worked again

But I never lack reminder of the harsh realities

It seriously contradicts my art practice

Survival of the fittest on daily basis

The bloody foodchain effect

Casualties, sacrafices, ruins

In each & every direction I turn

Under the cover of perfect exteriors

The blood perfection

Painting landscape is therapeutic

But no longer realistic enough

The way Monet struggled in his time

No less severe than we are now

The pretty commercial bubble of Impressionism

As the current exhibition has portraited

Has bursted for me

A new direction is emerging

( Entry 59 - 06. 08. 2019 )

Idleness for adolescence

It’s so not fair!

Youth, physiques & so much time

Yet idleness bore them to death

Unless you are the 'exam type'

Then youth and physiques irrelevant

Time is never enough

The everlasting pursuit of intellectual status

As for me, idleness never left me

Neither constantly bored

Nor never-ending thirst for knowledge

Credit for all exams - ultimate goal

Never much of a planner

For one , things are always planned for me

For another, I just haven’t got the drive

That idleness never left me.

Now 50, still pretty idle

If idleness the equivalent of adolescence

I’d gladly accept that

That adolescence never left me

I start to wonder if it ever will

You know, old people are unable to change

It’s not so bad, is it?

I don’t feel a hint of discomfort in that

In exchange of their adolescence

The 'idle type' just went on as usual

The 'exam type' became professionals

And I - the inbetweener - still got bit of everything

Not exactly jack of all trades

But whilst enjoying that idleness

A handful of skills did thrive in their own right

Idleness does bear fruit

What’s more, adolescence never left me

No youth, no physiques, still so much time

No profession, no possession, still so much to do

The best thing - that idleness never left me!

(Entry 58 - 30.07 2019 )

The circle of fifth

Much imbeded concept within

Should it be introduced to me earlier

I wouldn’t have the patience

Music theory is dry

As dry as mathematics

But singing and dancing are not

I have always been a good singer

‘Mother said I started to sing before I could talk ’

‘I started todance before I could walk’

It’s true for ABBA

It’s also true for me

In my growing years

Singing was always there

Almost like a friend

A conceptual friend

Music theory was never necessary

Whenever I sing

I always sing with perfect pitch

I sure surprised many of my music teachers

But learning an instrument is a different story

The circle of fifth is essential

All the majors and minors

Memorise them, identify them, play them

And this is just a beginning

Lucky I have got patience now

All that I need to do

Is playing one note at a time, accurately

(Entry 57 - 23. 07. 2019 )

Let's have some fun!

Children love having fun

Yellow wiggle, red wiggle, blue wiggle, purple wiggle

Singing, dancing, all the primary colours

Thomas the number 1 tank engine

And all his friends

Edward, Henry, Gordon, James & Percy

Tidmouth Sheds & the Fat Controller

'Bob the builder, can we fix it? '

'Bob the builder, yes we can! '

And all his helpers

Lofty, Muck, Scoope, Rolley & Dizzy

And the ultimate thriller - Star Wars

Darth Vader, Luke Sky Walker &Han Solo

And the Lego blocks in every child's toy box

From kindergarten all the way into adulthood

Not to mention the international hits

Disneyland & all it's characters

Sesame Street & all the residents

Ben Ten, Astro Boy, Toy Stories & Harry Porter

Only pity, childhood is too short

How could any child embraces all these & more

It's crazy, buzy & intense

And fun? Not if it's become a race.

Nowadays, when I turn on kid's tv programme

Even as a 50 year old, I can not help feeling the pressure

The pressure of the newest, latest & the popular

The peer pressure shoots through the roof

When these children grow up

They will impose the same pressure on their cubs

The pride of their own pride

' One day, you will become a king '

(Entry 56 - 16. 07. 2019 )

Ultramarine blue with a dash of black

On the dark side of the moon

Cool yellow with a dash of white

On the bright side of the moon

The rest of the night sky

Any shades of yollow & blue in between

Would do justice to it

I can already visualise the picture

Nowadays painting &colour mixing

Rules my days, all day, every day

Sunny, cloudy, rainy

Rosy, glary, merky, be a challenge!

According to my landscape painting experience

Days require a lot of white

Nights require a lot of black

And the rest of the day, in between

One colour takes a bit of challenge

Without which all paintings would look dull

That colour is red

It took me 6 months to actually get a grasp of

Be it days, be it nights

If red is missing, you would notice it

It does not require the trained eyes

Anyone can tell something is lacking

Now that I have experimented with the red

It really does add extra dimension to the painting

Familiar with the colour wheel thoroughly

Has fundamentally changed the way I paint now

Music is the circle of fifth

English language is the alphabet

Mathmetics is the roman numeros

Painting is the colour wheel