Notes to x
I never want to be perfect
I want to be effective
In action and in love
I want to inspire above all
The idea that you are your greatest love story
Women, this is important
Love your self before any man
Spend time with your purpose before any one
Be selfish with all that is you.
No is a complete and valid answer, always.
Know yourself - your faults and blessings
Then look at yourself in awe of your humanity
You are the dream of your ancestors
With your great grand mothers blood running through you
You are whole just the way you are
More than enough and then some
Conscience
I have a voice in my head,
She's been here for many years.
She talks about me all the time,
I can't help but overhear.
We have conversations, arguments,
She tells me I'm insane.
I tell her she's a hypocrite,
She tells me I'm a pain.
But I get horribly lonely,
It's great to have her here.
No one seems to understand me,
But my voice is always near.
Midnight Autumn Sunlight
Small kisses down your spine
we never sang hymns but
this is the closest I understand to worship.
There's not room between these sheets
for two separate souls,
mine tripped and tangled in yours the second
our heartbeats set off racing.
Get whiskey-tipsy and tell me
every way you love me
with flashlights under the covers.
Tell me I am autumn sunlight
and I'll whisper
you're the forest I spill onto
and together we create such breathtaking scenes.
Squench!
The sound of my gut
going through vacuum
My blood pumping organ panics
What was that awful tune?!
Words pour into my mind
I have to get it right
Should I or shouldn't I?
All this thinking makes my head feel light
This is the moment
I've prepared my mouth for
But I'm not handsome,
dark, or tall!
Plus it seems that my mind
just decoupled from my body
Cause no matter how loudly I screamed
Only I could hear me
'Squench!'
There it goes again
The want to say something stinks!
And damn well it stings
And boils over like hot water
And the heart again beats harder
Well if you really want to leave
Go on then leave my body
Before you break a rib
I'm never going to say anything
And risk sounding stupid!
What I Am
I am not a painting
Which you can stand around
And discuss what features
Stand out, and which fall short.
I am not a slab of burger meat
For you to drool over
A place for you to
“Sink your teeth”.
I am not an art exhibit
Asking passers by
To stare at me
Or judge me.
I am a human
And I bleed real blood
I feel hurt and pain
And I do know real love.
You do not get to call me names
You do not get to point out “flaws”
You do not get to make me feel
Smaller than a bug.
You do not define me
In fact your words define yourself
So maybe you should watch
What comes out of your mouth.
No Fear, Go Forward!
Being youngest was my fate
I always felt I had to wait
To go to school or hook my own bait
I had to wait to ride a bicycle
My siblings did, I had a tricycle
I had to wait for hand-me-downs
Not often did I go to town
A sense of inferiority
Seemed to have a hold on me
Even when the school did start
I didn't realize I was smart
That I was leading in the class
I thought that I was always last.
It took some time to understand
It's not the age that makes the man
Look at the thing, emotional age
The guts it takes to stand on stage
Some throw fits roll on the floor
While they're frickin' forty four
Spiritual age a child is ten
You love to see that child again
Fear of death at ninety two
No fear of death at twenty-two
The young man took a look
Found answers in a Book
Since I've aged accused to be
A milf of plastic surgery
I walk fast and laugh a lot
I'm not grey, my hair I got
I'm old on charts but I don't see
That age will ever bother me
Of course I’m fine!
Whispers are singing in my head
There's monsters growling under my bed.
I can hear them all the time
But....
I'm fine.
There are dead people
trying to talk to me
Trying to get me to give
messages to their baby.
They want them to live
a life that's happy.
But...
I'm fine.
Images of that fateful night
Flashes of blood and I try to fight
Don't get in my way,
flashbacks fright
Only straight jacket can help my plight
But I'm alright...
I'm fine.
Soulmates
Molten bodies melding,
fused in melody
only we can hear.
Burnished diamonds
of evening vault
rising as one
in reborn sky.
Passion painting
our souls,
limbs strengthening
when we tumble.
Gazes bound together
with silken thread.
Gossamer paper
wrapped tenderly
around hearts
in deep cobalt shadows
of dusk, pulsing.
Endless ecstasy
of seared skin
from before
time was born.