"I don't drink."

He says,

because alcohol blurs his vision,

and he is

always

in control.

Or so he thinks.

"I drink,"

she says,

because her life is already not hers,

spinnning like a top from a toddler,

manic,

and too far for her to reach.

Or so she thinks.

In the end it’s not about how many people we conquer or how many we bare our teeth at. In the end it’s about the connections we make. It’s about the open wounds we saw in each others lives and hearts and how we responded to the pain of others. Pain is foundational to the human existence. In varying degrees and ways all humans experience pain. All people experience the depth of humanity’s depravity.

No one ever really feels power because once they have it they are also in danger of losing it. It becomes a harrowing experiment in desperateness. To be desperate is to be willing to do anything. Too many times the desperate feelings to belong, dominate, and be respected unilaterally unhinge the mind and result in the illusion of a blood thirsty Alpha. When it all began because of pain that was never understood by anyone else.

Power. It’s dangled in front of us on a proverbial fishing line, but the initial bait disappears once bitten and we find ourselves at the mercy of whoever’s opinion keeps us baited, ready to be cast as soon as majority opinion wanes. 

Power traps you inside of yourself, and then the very instincts that led you to step on the people around you to get to where you wanted to go, leaves you bare against the cold of your own cruelty. 

In the end, we have to love each other. We have to pursue the brilliant minds, incredible hearts, sacrificial lives being lived around us, and find the intricate beauties in life that make it so worth doing. Once we know, accept, understand, and love diversely, the end won't be worth thinking about. If we can change the way we see others and really see them, not their strengths or weaknesses, or the things we pity or wish we had, but really see them for who they are, then in the end it won't feel so much like an ending, but a sweet peace.