Flesh against flesh

Slap against slap

Like a swine you came inside her

Smirking, you looked at her immobile body

There was grotesque glee on your face

This was nirvana, your measure of manhood against her bold feminism

Little did you know this was the exact measure of your perversity, your cowardice

You never touched her

All you managed to reach was your depth of perversion and fear, your insecurities

But look at the twisted way of society

Her purity is to be measured only by the exact grotesque nature of your masked pleasure

So, but of course she was shamed and you were glorified

And that was the day when patriarchy triumphed over equality

And the society was doomed to darkness; infinity

Fear has got many names and many forms

Fear of dark streets; fear of two legged dogs ogling at your traditionally dressed body from head to toe

Fear of being 'ragged' by well known seniors

Fear of speech against strong politicians

Fear of protesting against the policemen, the so called guardians

Fear of hanging out with guys late at night

There is so much fear that there is even a curfew when we work late at night

And of course, along with the fear comes the shame of being called a slut, a whore for no fault of their own

After overcoming those scars and name tagging; then face the fear of rejection by society for unwilling penetration of your body by unknown monsters

Fear of being condemned for speaking publicly about your violation and humiliation

Fear of having your self brutally smashed by people who justify their power and presence by bogus patriarchy rules

Fear of not receiving justice

Fear of people being desensitized to rape and molestation

Fear of being tagged as a mere victim and just a survivor

Fear of being lost and being helpless after endless candle marches and protests

Fear of losing self preservation and dignity

......Fear of being silenced for eternity..

Born of strife,

Of long lost ashes, forgotten

A spark; that's all it took

For her to be reborn again

Fiery was her hair,

Scorching was her stare

And her soul was of fire

Mounded in the fiery depths of pain, hate and struggle

Touched by love she melts

To be broken once again.

But she is a Phoenix

So she will be reborn again

Ever strong, ever powerful and ever trusting

She's simply that- A Woman

Strangely beautiful yet so bizarre

Are these feelings of betrayal

Expected yet so painful

Little did I know

That a friend could turn into a stranger so easily

Within a few moments

A few breaths

The friend you love the most

Turns into a familiar and a bitter stranger

Unanswered questions

So many hows and so many whys

A closure is all that I request

So close yet so far

Wish so fervently that the gap be closed

But so unfortunate are the events

That we had to turn our backs on each other

By just a simple betrayal

Insecure, afraid

Of the world at large

I slowly take little steps towards the world outside

I fall, I stumble

Yet I rise to take little steps again

Sometimes I fall into an abyss

Where not even my shadow can follow me

All I have at that moment

Is my will power and the thought 'I can'

It is a prayer enough to see me through the darkness

A thought good enough to make me see the light

In moments of desperation

When family also loses hope

Just the thought 'I can' is strong enough

To make me rise again

And take little steps towards the world again

Friends are overrated, overhyped

Always politically right

Curious and inquisitive

'Just for your good you know'

And then they blab it all as a joke

Sometimes they are better off as strangers

Why deal with pain that comes with all sorts of connections

Never a moment of rest

It is a tumultuous relationship I must say

It is just give and take

Give me your trust and word

So that I can take it and hurt you in return

Backstabbing and honesty are just mere words

To be broken at one's convenience

Nowadays relations are just a hype

To be scoffed at, to be never taken in earnest

They are made just to build your network

For one's benefit

Gone are the days when someone used to be friends for mere company

Making friends is now the ultimate business

Where the crowds you surround yourself by

Flaunts your status and power in society

But at home, in darkness, you scoff at your own stupidity

They wish they were never a part of this society

But unfortunately that's the norm and being an exception is just being gutsy

Being a hero never did the hero any good

So like a coward we masquerade as friends

In this guise we have truly lost our own self and worth

And like a deranged ship we search for a true companion

Who used to be once known as friends

Freedom how liberally the word is used

What is freedom exactly? For me it is neither the overrated Independence Day when we are filled with patriotism and sing 'Jai Hind' till we are hoarse. For me freedom is following my dreams, doing whatever I wish to do for my own betterment and pleasure and having the right to do so. It even includes the right to choose my own career even it is unconventional. Sometimes we have to forego this right as we are pressured by our own well wishers to choose something that will earn our bread and butter and not something that we love. It is indeed pitiful but due to unfounded fears our well wishers do more wrong than right.

I do hope that there are some brave parents out there who are understanding enough to let their children pursue their own choices even if while pursuing them they are hurt in the process because it indeed takes a brave soul to see their loved ones withstand pain and watch in silence while silently knowing it can be taken away in an instant if they intervene

I feel low, I feel high

I feel a mix of emotions coursing through me

Should I be happy or should I be sad

Empty or blissful

I really don't know

While the ecstasy lasted I remained uplifted

With it gone I succumb back to the loneliness inside my soul

I wish I could yell

I wish I could shout

But all I do is nod and keep it all inside

Bottled up it remains somewhere

In the dark recesses of my soul

Just waiting for an opportune moment

To burst forth and gush forward

Engulfing all in its blackness and emptiness

Aloha! Today is my last day

I have really lived life to some extent

Got new friends and a great family

But Alas, it wasn't enough for me.

I am not where I imagined myself to be

My life: A parody of mixed dreams of everyone except mine

And I am tired of living this lie

It was never believed I could do something great

And guess what! Your demonic ideas finally squashed my innocent dreams

My life, my purpose and my hope to live;

So Adieu and goodbye

Consider this as my salvation and a pledge

To live life better

Maybe, next time

Till then Adieu and a bitter sweet goodbye to this life, and Aloha to a new life