How to Read People
When I'm at the front of the left turn lane, waiting for the light to turn green, cars coming from the right, turning left, look into their turn as they pass in front of me. I don't know them. They don't know me, but for that rare moment in time, our paths narrowly cross; and there I am, grinning ear to ear, flipping each of them the bird as they continue on their commute. I just enjoy their facial reactions. No one can possibly foresee it. It's shocking, invigorating, comical, for them and for me. The thing that upsets me is when they clearly see me, but have no reaction at all. Those are the ones who sadden me. It's as if someone randomly flipping them off while grinning is just par for the course. Those are the dead souls, the downtrodden, the serial killers. I pray for them; and when the light turns green, I remember their faces. All of them.
Decay
Hold it dear, this word. Imagine a forest without termites, without fire, or leaf-eating bugs. Remember that aquarium without any algae eaters or committed gods. What if ice and snow never melted? Is there enough soil on Earth to grow a garden great enough to feed a world without predation? All creatures eat and are eaten. The price we pay is that we all get a turn.
The mountains collect snow, reserving water in high, cold temperatures, which slowly melts to feed our rivers throughout dry seasons in warm climates where crops prefer to grow; and the prices we pay are the earthquakes, blizzards, floods, landslides, and storms which bring death and destruction.
Add to the mix man's free will. We don't subscribe to "mating season" or hunger pangs to justify our kills. We'll breed for glory or money or fame or fun, and kill for all the same reasons. We choose polygamy, monogamy, promiscuity, fidelity. We choose to kill, to rescue, to heal, to mame. He have free will - the freedom to do as we will - instead of being mere puzzle pieces in a world we need not bother to understand. The price we pay is knowing that we are susceptible to becoming each other's victims.
If there is no God, then we are just products of nature, and all we do is natural, thus defensible and allowed; then morality is just a word, categorizing illogical behavior like self-sacrifice, unconditional love, courtesy, and repayment of debt. If there is no God, then "right and wrong" become a matter of natural selection, after all, what is more natural than the strong overtaking the weak? And there is no hate without a God, only fear, territorial disputes, indifference, and indeference.
The student asks, "I know that all things must live and die, and that death employs many agents of decay, but some are simply awful in their work; how can we praise a God who allows such terrible things?"
The wise one teaches, "God doesn't allow terrible things, He gives us, and us alone, the capacity to sympathize, and to love so deeply that we are capable of defining things as terrible."
Regret
I did things last night
Awful things I'm not proud of
I regret nothing
It was inside me
An animal tearing me
Apart from within
She slept peacefully
I didn't care I needed
To end this madness
Only one solution
I did this terrible thing
While she slumbered there
I cannot hide this
Stains will forever haunt me
My poor toilet bowl
Cisgender: denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth; not transgender.
Philosophy: the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline.
If, as a species, we ever come to the point where the phenomena of men identifying as men and women identifying as women becomes a philosophical study, as if reality were something subjective, we will have achieved a level of hubris beyond even biblical proportion.
We might just as well spend our time asking why an acute triangle identifies as an acute triangle and not an obtuse triangle. After all, it's just a label. The conversation would be a waste of every single moment spent. Change the acute label all you want, it will not change the fact that none of the angles are equal to, or more than, ninety degrees. Nothing would change the facts.
If, however, we were to discuss, academically, the phenomenon of non-cisgender, philosophically or psychologically, we might actually come away with some new areas of thought. Likewise, we could discuss the psychological integrity of a person who genuinely believes that an acute triangle can become obtuse simply by demanding that other people refer to the acute triangle as obtuse, but regardless of the academic conclusion, the conclusion will never be anything other than academic.