Turquoise intensity pools at my feet,

thick black eyelashes wrap me in passion.

Eye gems surrounded by apricot skin

draw me into your fathomless sea.

Liquid silk of your bedroom eyes

envelopes my soul and beckons me.

My lips touch your eyelids, stirring

mounting zenith of moist desire.

Even against the deepest night,

your eyes are a beacon of light,

a lighthouse of warning, foretelling,

forever marooned by her eyes,

stranded within her warm islands.

Barefoot in an alley

Sipping bourbon from

a styrofoam cup

I remember the days

when dreams used to visit me

in the night instead of the

nightmares that were his hands

Love and sorrow brought me here

Now the silence rings in my ears

like the detonation of a bomb

I followed the glow of

the cheshire moon and

saw his face in a puddle

that smelled like piss

Head to the night sky

Knees on the ground

Hands in the air

giving up to your god

Daydreaming of

a better tomorrow

while muriatic tears burn my skin

Reminding me that this is

no nightmare

She quenches all my thirsts

With her passion

Her fountain overflows

Baths me in moonlight

Essence of desire tease my want

Drink all I can consume

Never will I stray

From this oasis of her

I'm my father's only child

Now he needs a cane

The joints that once held me high

Have grown fragile with age

Tendons, ripped and worn

Wrap around ceramic

Like a vine on a lattice

Climbing, growing, strong

Janet locks her fingers

A woodpecker on the bough

Reciprocated strength, yet

I know it wears her out

Tribulations in my future

I'm beginning to comprehend

The ache and burden of knowledge

Weigh on my bones while it can

Because I am so very young

To feel so physically perturbed

I look to my last legs

And realize they're my first

He beams me a smile, his hands

On the walker by the door

The man I see before me

Is the same as before

Yet the clouds under his eyes

Billow into the afternoon

And the crows feet, once silent

Whisper to me, "soon"

The time has not come

Though it has never stopped

And will continue to wind

It's way through the wynd

All the way to the end

Leaving behind

The sturdy wooden structure

That supports the ever growing vine

Nails bitten to the bed

Unwashed hair and

streams of black mascara

Whiskey in my blood

and ink on my hands

You have no past

and I have no future

So forgive me when

I say I wish I could forget

the sleepless nights that

left their mark and have

aged me like the

rings on a willow

I'm that guy

Who wants to cuddle

Just to feel the warmth of your body

Together to be entangled

Within our beautiful skin

To be comforted by your beating heart

To smell your soft silky hair

To know i will be loved

Togetherness brings love

Interlacing our finger tips 

Togetherness is the key

The magic that ignites bliss

I'm that guy

Who always wants to be close

Close to the one I adore

Closer within each inch 

Each inch to my heart

K.j.a. (c) 2016

-In sixth grade I cried because I started to develop underarm hair. I shaved it, not knowing you needed shaving cream, and it burned for a week. I haven't loved myself since.

-In seventh grade I told myself I was skipping school so I wouldn't have to change in front of the other boys. I didn't, and ended up changing in the bathroom stall for half the year. Kids made fun of me, so I stopped and changed in front of my locker. Every time, I stared st the wall and hated myself a little bit more, lost a little more dignity every time. I haven't loved myself since.

-In eighth grade I took a trip to Washington D.C. to learn more about our country. Naturally, I had to stay with another boy in the hotel rooms, because a boy and a girl cannot be trusted together. The first night I stifled sobs under the bed covers because, however little bit of intimacy it was sharing a room, I was not comfortable with it. I haven't loved myself since.

-my freshman year was a repeat of my eighth. My band took a trip to Dallas, Texas for a biannual competition. I had to stay with three other boys in a two-bed hotel room. I cried because I couldn't even confide in my female friends in private, because I wasn't even allowed to enter their rooms. I haven't loved myself since.

-my sophomore year I told my mom I was transgender- a quivering fact I'd known about myself for a while. She'd always said she'd support me no matter what, so I was taken aback when she said I was on my own because she didn't want to have anything to do with it. We never talked about that night again. I haven't loved myself since.

-this year, now a junior, I wore the guard makeup for my color guard performances, and a lot of people complimented me on how good I was at cosmetics. I know it was a little heavy and i mainly looked like a drag queen- not the girl I wanted to be- but I felt beautiful and was ecstatic.

-this year, now a junior, I know that me being transgender is not a phase. It is a fact about me- like that I have brown hair or love Taylor Swift- and it will never change. I am not open or presenting, and I'm not sure I ever will be, but i do know i will do everything in my power to help other minorities and people like me.

-today, I am a closeted trans teen. I have had to grow up a little quicker than the other kids, but it has only made me more mature and more versatile than the other kids. When we're pushed down, I am the first to stand up. When we are abused, I am the first to fight back. And when we are oppressed, I am the first one to riot.

-today, I am trans. And I will not let you walk on my rights as a human being.

He picked me up

I felt his hands surround me

His fingers moved slowly

Across my spine

Beautiful words left his lips

I could feel his breath on my skin

I thought I would be his forever

After a while he started looking around

He eventually walked away

And never looked back

Typical