Don't push me away from you

To save me

If I hurt or die

I want it to be with you

skin swollen to bursting point

your pelvic thrust against mine-

pink and aching and relieving with touch.

the fires burn between us as we brush

skin against skin,

sin lost in the beauty of lovers

taking one another in.

we are just a little bit closer to heaven.

#geekslutnerdgirl

#poetry

#sensual

Stress

Stress

Stress

When can this cruel stop?

When can this huge part of my brain stop thinking about the future, future, future?

It's making me go crazy all over.

Why do I have to go through this?

It really has no point.

Every year, many people die because of it.

Every year, many people cry because of it.

Every year, many people lose love because of it.

When can it ever stop?

Never.

It doesn't get erased.

It really doesn't!

It doesn't dissappear from your life!

It's not what you can erase.

Totally not.

You can't just have the stress be erased from your brain and have a happy life.

No one can!

Even a superhero or a person with magical powers.

No one really can.

Unless...

You whiteout stress.

Why am I born? For what reason was I born into?

All of my life, I wondered.

Why is everything leaving me?

All of my delights have left me.

All of my friends have left me.

All of my family have left me.

But, but why?

Am I that weird? Different?

I feel like all doors and window covers are closing and leaving me in darkness.

I feel like all of my properties are flushing down the toilet.

I feel like all of my blood are turning into black ashes.

I feel like my mind is shutting down, unplugged.

Wait... do I need someone?

Someone to unplug my loneliness?

But my real question is why am I unplugging?

Is it tears or rain that wet the page

My sentences go on and on

A lot of words for something so simple

Sitting out here all my memories come back

Laughing until I cried, crying until I laughed

I can’t process how it all happened so fast

One day I was here

Then somehow days and years passed

The trees grew up and I did too

It doesn’t seem like long but I guess it has been

Running around this yard playing pretend

Swinging the day away talking about the future

Too innocent to doubt, only focused on hope

I thought it’d last forever

Every day seemed the same, change was slow

Then fast, very fast

And I can’t figure out how to grasp this

Sitting out here in the yard while it rains

This used to be our fortress but now I’m alone

I can’t change what’s not in my control

If I could, it would have been me instead

But here I am, writing to a ghost

Thinking about the ghost of our past

And the ghost of our future we will never have

I can’t tell if my tears have stained the page

Or if it’s just the rain

It might be both

If you were here you’d tell me to go inside

But the rain feels good

Feeling something against my skin again

Besides you

Tomorrow is just a daydream away

My body may be present but my mind wanders

Live in the moment. This moment is real.

They keep talking

My mind keeps building worlds upon worlds

Losing touch with reality to keep the dreams

I created the dreams as an escape

But now I cannot escape the dreams

Daydreaming my life away

Scared to quit

I’m dreaming to live not living to dream

They exist because reality seems hopeless

But reality can never get better if I don’t try

I have no energy left to try

My energy was left in my fantasies

Real life shrinks as the fantasy’s grow

Tomorrow may just be a daydream away

But my entire life I have never woken up

Obsessed

By love.

I wonder why

People are

Obsessed

By love.

Are we not whole?

Are we not strong?

I know love.

But when I share

You want it all.

The love in my heart

Would burst your heart

If I gave my whole

To you.

If I gave my heart full of love

To you

It would overwhelm you.

Yet others yearn for love

And you yearn for them

To find love.

But not my love.

My love

You want to keep

Like an animal in a cage,

Wild

Yet tamed,

Prowling

Unfree

And waiting to explode

When the cage is opened.

And then

It will go

Far from you

And you will write poems

About wishing you could find love.

But when you do

You will put it in a cage.

Time will tell

We move through life:

experiences- growth- knowledge

We stand strong

conquering fears.

We become a community

functioning as individuals.

Time will tell

our future.

We have choices

and embark on a path.

Just like the water

life moves slowly with

FORCE

We can get stuck in an eddy

sometimes swirling forever

we slip out

and continue to move

with the water

in the river.

Dear limb in the water,

You appear to be stuck.

I have felt stuck

in the mud

for some time.

Unable to move

in the ways I wish to move, I allow self doubt to arise.

And here you are- a limb in the water stuck in the mud.

I notice you. I see you.

Dear Human,

Yes, I appear to be stuck.

Did you also notice

the growth that is occurring?

The sun is shining on me.

I feel the slight movement of the water.

Turtles climb. Fish nibble.

I rest in this place.

Then I bow

and offer gratitude

to my teacher-

the limb

in the water.