Driving down a dark road

in the utter darkness of November

where the nights begin to eat the days

and swallow them whole

like the Monsters of my youth; in a book I once read

we'll eat you up; we love you so!

The sky's an eternal slate gray and the air smells of burning

leaves, heat, furnaces, houses as bears lumber to their caves for the winter

As the mist creeps, sheathes the hill in fog

a few brilliant colors peak

from the blanketing abyss

a touch of vermilion, catches, the eye almost seems like the sun's departing shade

it's last hurrah

before everything collapses into the dark

and the Night eats the days

It's late at night and that's when I can be honest

about how pathetic and useless and sad and small I am

2 am, laid bare as a babe

weak and pathetic, animal soft flesh and I long for something

but I can't have it

ever my shadow stretches in front of me,just like the dark hours when I watch my clock as it ticks

I know I can't have it

at 5am, I'll wake up to another dark dawn

and another grey day

shamble my feet into shoes

and pretend to be a human

not the creature wearing a human flesh suit

that I think I am

or perhaps 3 years

I made this account.

I told myself I'll write stories, poems, enter contests

I thought

I thought about a lot of things then

in my early twenties when the shape of the universe was this ever unfolding beautiful green thing

that stretched before me like an unending river

instead of the dark,one lane road it is now

heading into the forest with no hope and no direction

10 years later and 10 dreams dead

I sit here with my account now opened

nursing alcohol on my lap

the taste of bitter on my breath, sweet sharpness of the liquor

I guess today is different from yesterday