Judge. Berate. Belittle. 

"We only say it because we love you."

But who are you to comment when you know so little? 

And you cried when you saw the marks, 

The ones that transferred onto my skin from my heart.  

Cried and said "Why?!" 

…

Why? 

Why? 

Why? 

But it's your words that made me hate. 

Made me believe that 

"I'd be gorgeous if I just lost a little weight." 

Made me believe that I was less because I weighed more. 

Made me feel lower than the floor. 

And now I've survived, 

No longer thrive on the feel of dragging a blade across my skin, 

But instead on good friends and good times. 

And the good life I've built all by myself. 

So I wait for the praise, 

For a compliment, 

For an acknowledgment. 

For you to finally be proud...

I've done well haven't I? 

Seventy-five pounds lighter 

And free of depression's gripping darkness. 

So I wait, 

…

And wait.

And wait. 

And wait. 

And when finally I think you notice…

Judge. Berate. Belittle. 

"Is your best friend really gay? …I can't believe you're actually moving in with him."

"Why would you ever post a picture of you holding a cigarette and a bottle of champagne?" 

"You're smoking weed? You're so stupid." 

And then you cry when I don't call. 

Come home for a visit but don't visit you at all. 

Cry and say "Why?" 

…

Why? 

Why? 

Why? 

If you asked me I'd tell you. 

I don't have to lie. 

I will no longer spare your feelings for mine. 

And I am tired of never being good enough in your eyes. 

I've learned what I'm worth, I'm incredible.

And I no longer need your advice or your time. 

I'll see you in passing, I'm sure. 

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

A kiss on the cheek and a hug goodbye. 

I'll always love you,

But I'm leaving it at that. 

I guess you should think about your words 

Next time you call someone fat.