1. Those who chew with their mouth open for the entire world to see and hear

Punishment: They are used as nutcrackers so as to put their annoying habit to some use

2. People who drive 40 in a 55 mph no passing zone

Punishment: Have to bunny hop everywhere they go

3. Those who make cookies and other delicious treats and eat them in front of you when they know you’re hungry and are trying to watch what you eat.

Punishment: They will forever be four hundred pounds and will never be able to taste anything they eat again

4. People that don’t wash their hands after using the restroom

Punishment: Forced to clean all the bathrooms in the world with Q-tips

5. The person/s who thought of those late night phone dating commercials

Punishment: Forced to relive the worst possible first date ever; every single day

Hey lil’ sis,

Since the day you came into the world kicking and screaming, I knew we were going to be the best of buds. Remember when we were younger, everybody thought that we were twins because we looked and acted so much alike? Well, I’m happy to say that we no longer look like each other; not that either of us is ugly, but having our own unique look is something we should give thanks for. Even though we don’t look like each other anymore, I swear you act more and more like me every day; which is a good thing, I think.

This is the part where I’m supposed to give you advice about life; like you listen to me anyway. The truth is, I’m kind of new at this myself. Sure, I’ve lived on this lovely earth of ours for almost nineteen years now, but there is so much I haven’t experienced or figured out for myself.

Life is a game full of the blind leading the blind. You can be the oldest person in the entire world and not know the meaning of life. There are several theories, but there isn’t a right or wrong answer because the meaning of life is truly an everlasting question.

The meaning of life isn’t as important as what people make it out to be. Even if we knew all there is to know about life, it doesn't mean anything unless you make something of it. Try your hardest to live life to its fullest and I guarantee you’ll live a prosperous life. A brilliant man once quoted the words of his mother, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” Don’t let the thought of chocolate distract you because truer words were never spoken. Mankind plays a constant game of jeopardy with every decision we make. If we’re lucky, we bite into the sweetness of something such as a promotion, a victory, or an A plus on a test. Unfortunately, tart tasting situations come along once in a while and all we can do is swallow it and move on; shit happens. When life gets you down, consider the fact that a box of chocolates can only have so many rejects, and you just have one less to worry about.

One of the most important jobs you can perform in your lifetime is to be a friend to someone. Being sisters, we sometimes don’t agree on things, but that is what friends are for. Friends are God’s way of apologizing for families. You can bounce ideas off a friend without having them criticize you, rant and rave at them all you want, or simply receive that much needed hug. A true friend is hard to come by and usually you find that special something in the most unlikely people. Abraham Lincolm once stated, “Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?” You can never have too many friends.

Having said that, never change yourself to be liked by somebody. If they can’t accept you for who you are, then they aren’t a true friend, and they don’t deserve somebody like you. Having a cardboard cutout as a friend isn’t something I would wish upon anyone; Confucius agrees with me when he proclaims, “I don’t want a friend who smiles when I smile, who weeps when I weep, for my reflection in the pool can do better than that.”

I try my hardest every day to not only be a big sister to you, but also your friend. Friendship with someone is the most important gift you give them. Just be there for them. Listen when they need to talk. Friends were made to tell secrets to and share memories with; a friend is a gift you give yourself. Always surround yourself with the love, support, and joy friends provide because they are the ones who know the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten the words.

Don’t ever be afraid to use your imagination. Your creative genius can make the most painfully boring things, almost interesting. Never hold back; if you feel like dancing, then for Christ’s sake, dance! Look at life through a positive outlook and see all the wonderful things at your disposal. Stop and smell the roses. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and put one of those little party umbrellas in it. Don’t take things for granted, make the most of what you have and give a little extra to others. It’s true that we don’t always get what we want, but use your imagination to create something out of the things you have.

Even if you’ve let what I’ve told you go in one ear and out the other, know this: I will always be here for you with a warm embrace, as a friend, and a big sister. I might pick on you quite often but I wouldn’t hesitate to come to your defense. It’s the least I can do after all these years you’ve put up with me. And that’s all I have to say ‘bout that; keep smiling and I’ll talk at you later, lil’ sis.

Love ya,

Your big sis