Waiting and waiting and waiting some more
Patience is a virtue
But I am not virtuous
I am anxious
Pacing
Wearing ruts into the floor
Feet callused and bloody
Leaving streaks in the sand
Waiting
In silence
Except
Ticking of the clock
Echoing
Wondering
What will happen
Worrying
I have failed
Again
Please
Answer
before
The clock consumes
My entirety
A life of black and white
I am glad you didn't like it
Because it was never meant for you
A product of reality
Based on make believe
No source of imagination in you
For you to understand
Something that isn't spelled out for you
Word for word exactly as planned
How sad it must be for you
To live inside this shell
Absent of all wonders
A life of living hell
there have been battles inside my chest but I did not dare to fight them
I have attempted
to starve out the demons
but they simply succeeded
in starving me
I have seen my bones
not from X-rays
through my own skin
I have viewed each rib
I have felt the hallow space
where love used to go
and it has pounded
like a drum inside
I have listened
as the lion roar of self disgust
wooed the whimper of hunger
and won
I have heard the warnings
the foolishness of this
and finally instinct took over
I am not still so thin
I have done all these things
yet before you convinced me
I had never
seen my own beauty before