Laurel & Hardy

Trying to get boxed pianos

Up & down

Sets of stairs.

Martin & Lewis

Splish-splashin’

Gobs of water

On an antediluvian-vaudevillian stage.

Lucy & Ethel

Wrapping chocolates,

Faster & faster & faster,

On a sadistically funny assembly line.

Penn & Teller

Pulling new magic out of old hats,

Along with laughs, blood, & moans,

Effervescently sublime.

One & One

Can be more than Two,

When they multiply, amplify & transmogrify

The prolongation of their talent by infinitely mirrored reflection.

Greetings Prosers,

It’s almost here. The day many of us spend months preparing for, is almost upon us.

Some will say 2016 hasn’t been too kind to us this year. The world has been unsettled in almost every facet of its being. Whilst some of the events that have happened over the course of this year have proven the depravity and evil extents to which some people will go, l believe that these occurrences across the world have also proven the humanity, kindness, and purity some of the human race still encompasses.

The above couldn’t be more true about the community we have built here. We as a team of five, often reflect on the frickin’ amazing community we have on Prose. As a community, you have changed lives for the better, you have helped people in crisis feel like there is something to live for. You have written about the human condition and all of its pains and beauties. You’ve made the ugly hauntingly beautiful and you have made the beautiful more colourful than the colours known to the naked eye. You’ve brought pixels to life, and I think it’s safe to say, you’ve all made lasting impressions on each others’ lives, just like you have ours.

This last year has been an uphill struggle for many, and that includes Prose. Building a business from the ground up is not an easy feat, and we have worked tirelessly to make sure we continue to bring you a place of safety; a sanctuary for you all to express yourselves, free from judgment and welcomed with open arms. We have a long way to go still, but we are certain that we will get there with your support.

We’ve made so much progress as a team, as a community, and as a business in the last 365. There have been huge updates; ones that brought you the bookstore; along with huge achievements - our Letters from Prison initiative has recently been nominated for an award for excellence in rehabilitation.

Our Letters from Prison Program has touched many lives and there are hundreds of pieces to read in our Portal right now. Without the support of you, our community, this program wouldn’t be as successful.

It’s with this in mind that 2017 will bring a fresh wave of change, for the better, for us all. Paul and I (Sammie) will be spending our time setting up a non-profit for the philanthropic work we have begun in prisons. We will be scaling this into the youth offenders sector, and hopefully, the addiction sector too. This business will be separate to Prose, but will share a symbiotic relationship with Prose, and you, our Prosers. We’ve proven with prisoners that words are so powerful, they can change lives for the better, forever. We hope that you will continue to support us with this endeavour, and if any of you would like to help us further, please email me directly (sammie@theprose.com) because we know we’re going to need it.

Not only will we be working hard to change lives with words, but there will be some enhancements coming your way with Portals, and with that being said, if any of you would like to become moderators of our current Portals, please contact me using the same email address above.

Before I sign off for the year, there is one more change coming your way. It’s a brief change, but a needed one, to allow us some breathing room to implement the changes we have planned. From this day forward, there will be no more challenge of the week until further notice. Monday will bring the announcement of the winner for last week’s, but we will not be setting another for the time being.

The team will all be taking a much needed break for the next couple of days to enjoy time with our families and loved ones. Should any of you have any tech issues etc. you can still email us on the usual email address, or message us in app. We will be in touch as soon as we have emerged from the other side of Christmas.

Lastly, we want to thank every single one of you for being here. I, personally, have made life long friends here and know that this is the case for the team too. We truly have stumbled upon a kick-ass group of people, who I couldn’t be prouder to work with every day.

To each of you, thank you so much.

To my colleagues - my friends - you’re all badasses. It’s a privilege to work with you, laugh with you, and actually, disagree with you (sometimes).

From the entire Prose team, we wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 

Until 2017, Prosers,

Eat. Drink. Be Merry. 

Prose.

Morning, Prosers,

It has been a number of weeks since the Bookstore launched and we've been busy working hard to eradicate bugs and update some core features that our Partners need.

Today we have added a sales history page, found within your transactions page, so that Partners currently selling their books can see what sales they are making.

We are aware that the visibility of Partner (paid-for) books on the Bookstore may have hindered book sales so we have remedied that by making sure these books are now front and centre of the bookstore. People will be able to find your books easily, and all you need worry about is spreading the word via your social channels along with writing some badass content for those readers to enjoy.

However, this does not mean we are done with the bookstore. We are constantly evolving and we’re relying on you all to get in touch with your feedback. Without you guys, Prose wouldn’t be Prose.

So, what are we working on next?

A donate button. This will be on each and every post you make on Prose, Partners and non-Partners alike. If you read a post you like and enjoy and you want to show your support to a fellow author, you can donate as few or as many coins to them as you like. 

The donate button is a cool way for ALL Prosers to make money and to show fellow Prosers encouragement and appreciation for exceptional content.

If you have any feedback for us, please get in touch via email on info@theprose.com or direct message, we are always happy to hear from you.

Keep on doing what you do so well, writing.

Until next time,

Prose. 

Thumpty-thump-thump. Thumpty-thump-thump. Look at that Frosty go! 

Like Rudolph, you know this one by heart too. It's another instant holiday classic. Some school kids are playing around in the snow and they decide to build a snowman. They then place a magic hat on top his head and, wouldn't you know it, he comes to life. They sing and dance, and all that jazz. 

What more can I say about this special as well? The one word that perfectly describes this special is whimsical. I always have a smile on my face every time I watch this. The animation isn't too bad. Sure there's some awkward moments here and there and some audio flaws, but for what they've definitely put some effort into the project. There's just so much joyous fun going on that you can't help but be sucked into it. And how can you not hum to that song? Seriously, try and not sing that song during the special. Believe me. It's impossible. 

The voicing acting isn't too bad either. Stand-up comedian Jackie Vernon provides the voice of our titular character and we also have legendary singer Jimmy Durante. What really surprised me the most was that legendary voice actress June Foray (who has voiced iconic cartoon characters such as Rocky of Rocky & Bullwinkle, Granny of Looney Tunes, and Cindy Lou Who of How The Grinch Stole Christmas) provides the voice of the main girl character Karen. Want to know something really awesome? She's still kicking today.

If I did have one complaint, which is just minor, is that there really isn't much character development throughout the special. To be fair that shouldn't come as a surprise. I mean the special after all is only 22 minutes in length. But the thing is we don't know much about Karen, we don't know much about the magician who's trying to steal the hat, and we sure as hell don't know much about Frosty. A minor issue but not enough to sway its likability. 

I honestly don't have much to say about this special because it's just another perfect holiday gem that everyone loves to watch again and again. Frosty the Snowman is another timeless classic that I look forward to watching every time, and I'm willing to bet that that's how you feel about the special too.

                               Positives:                             Negatives:

                              -The song                            -Not much character development

                              -Decent animation

                              -Decent voice acting

                              -Joyous fun

                              -Another timeless classic

Final Grade: A+

So that's my review of Frosty the Snowman as part of my 12 Days of Holiday Reviews special. Have you seen this special? What are your thoughts? If you built a snowman and it came to life, what's the first thing it would say? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check back for more classic holiday reviews!

Best Quote:

Frosty the Snowman: "Happy birthday!"

Let's start off my 12 Days of Holiday Reviews with a familiar name. You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? It's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hard to believe what started as a promotion for Macy's turned into a successful holiday classic.

You're all familiar with the story by now. A reindeer named Rudolph discovers that he has a shiny red nose, and if you ever saw it you would say it glows. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names, and never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. But what that catchy song left out was that he meets an elf who wants to be a dentist, a gold-obsessed minor, the abominable snowman, and an island full of misfit toys. Eventually Santa Claus asks him with his nose so bright to guide his sleigh and you know the rest.

What more could I possibly say about this special? It's fun, it's charming, it's a classic Rankin/Bass Christmas special. I remember all the characters by heart. Rudolph, Santa, Hermey, Yukon Cornelius, Clarice, Bumble, and Sam the Snowman voiced by iconic singer Burl Ives. Hell, I can actually make a pretty good impression of Coach Comet from the special. "NAAAAWW!"

I remember every scene and every quote of dialogue. And also, bullshit Honest Trailers! I still remember all those songs by heart too. I remember the elf song, the song the misfit toys sing, and you bet your holly jolly ass I remember Holly Jolly Christmas at the end.

The one bummer, to me, is actually Santa himself. Instead of the kind gentle man we all know and love, this guy comes off as a stick-in-the-mud throughout most of the special. Even when he's shaming Rudolph's father for hiding his son's nose, he goes from St. Nick to St. Dick. Also, I hate to mention this since it's going to be brought up every time but let's face it, the stop-motion animation is choppy at times. But what do you expect from something with a shoestring budget? 

I don't want to go on to long because A) I have finals to get done, and B) it's just a classic animated special that everyone, myself included, just loves to watch again and again each year. It's impossible to say anything too negative about it. I never grow tired watching and you can bet I'll be watching it again with a family of my own. 

                          Positives:                              Negatives:

                         -Songs                                  -Some choppy animation

                         -Characters                           -Bad Santa

                         -Lots of fun

                         -Memorable

                         -Timeless classic

                         -Christmas feel

Final Grade: A+

So that was Review #1 for my 12 Days of Holiday Reviews, and we're off to a good start. Have you seen this special? What are your thoughts? What's your favorite part of this special? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check back again for more holiday reviews right here on Prose!

Best Quote:

Yukon Cornelius: "Didn't you know? Bumbles bounce! Wahoo!"

Boiling vortex

of intoxicated pleasures

inhabits the darkness

where she lies still.

Whipped alabaster skin and

raw searching lips,

eyes blurred with teary tint,

heartless moon blinding her -

violation of sexuality.

She begs not to be broken

as I stamp hollow earth.

Milk of my iniquity

runs down her cheeks,

words like rocks

batter her self esteem.

Bloodied handprints

mark my territory as

angry passion unfolds

in sucking ocean swirl,

soul branded to her pith

as I enter my arena of lust -

dipping my feet and testing

the water as rain drenches

her water-marked skin.

Heavy music lurks

in shadows of her Hell.

My erotic fantasy

continues to swell.

I see her face

masking destruction

of the buried dead,

piles of crushed throats

scream mournfully

at black sky.

My violent delights

beget violent ends

forcing me to glimpse

the message I send.

Hey y'all! I'm Rane, I've been kicking my feet for 18 years now, excluding the gestation. I'm an early graduate, so I'm delivering pizza until basic training in June 20. In that between time, I dream to be able to publish a book. So I got Prose! With this app, I wish to be able to not only improve my skills, but also find other authors to show me how they did it! Well, that's all that's relevant I believe. Thank you for having me, hope I can be an amusing guest!

-Rane